I wish you could see me now.
Not because I need you to, but because I finally can.
I’m in the most peaceful place I’ve ever known.
If I had known then what I know now, I would’ve fought harder to find myself sooner.
But this version of me needed time to bloom.
She’s softer. She’s stronger. She’s mine.
Peace isn’t just a feeling—it’s a face, and today it looks like me.
Tag: happiness
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Peace looks like me
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Between Knowing and Feeling”
My mind, like a compass,
has charted the map of survival—
a terrain of letting go,
where love is lighter than loss,
And freedom is worth the unraveling.But my heart…
She lingers in shadowed corners,
clutching echoes,
swaying to rhythms that no longer serve me
But still sounds like home.I plead with her:
“Catch up.
Step in time with what I now know.”
Yet she folds into silence,
eyes wide with fear
That healing might erase the memory of feeling.I am two voices,
written on the same page
In a different ink.
One says release,
The other whispers, remember.And I don’t know
If this ache is resistance
or reverence.
But I do know—
Even confusion can be a kind of clarity,
If I dare to write it down
And let it speak.By: Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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Unable
Labels cling like paper tags,
defining jars and jam, and names—
But not the fire within our hearts,
nor the way our spirits claim.Why do they ask us to explain
Who are we, and who do we hold dear?
Love was never meant for boxes,
never meant to cower in fear.Love has no shade, no chosen skin,
no single shape or sex assigned.
It blooms between two growing souls—
a shared horizon, undefined.Love is blind, yet sees so deep.
It is soft. It is steel. It is a flight.
It’s knowing who you truly are
and owning it in the morning light.So let the world keep all its tags—
Our love needs none to prove it’s real.
Love is love: no more, no less,
and that’s the beauty we must feel.Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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I Want
I want my heart to still,
to silence the echo of your name.
I want my ribs to unburden
the weight of love carved too deep.If I could unfeel, I could unhurt.
If I could unlove, I could unbreak.
But wishes slip through trembling hands,
and prayers unravel in the wind.One day, perhaps, you will step into my life
as easily as you step away.
We will fold into each other like pages in a book,
then tear apart at the spine,
It was never meant to be reread.I can wish.
I can beg the stars to rewrite our fate.
But life is not kind with guarantees.
And love—love is never ours to command.Ms.Butterfly Genesis
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SELF commitment
It’s been a while since I put pen to paper, so here goes nothing. 2024 is leaving, and we’re welcoming 2025 into our lives; those who have to leave things behind should and will leave them behind because the whole point of a New Beginning is being able to leave the old baggage behind. I’m saying that all to say that I’m saying that all to say this.
I’m leaving 2024 with a lot of blessings and a lot of opportunities that I never thought in 1 million years I would have always seen, and one of the significant things that I am proud to say 2024 has given me is a new lease on life and the newest chapter of my life. And those who know me know I am a total girly girl throwing through. That’s what I am. That’s what I’ve always been.
For the last few weeks, I’ve been contemplating buying myself a ring—not just any ring, but one that represents recommitment to myself as a person and a woman.
When people or the world chooses to look down at my hands and ask me what that is, I will say it’s a commitment I have made to myself coming into 2025. I’m committing to having the best relationship with myself that I can have.
Before I can have any relationship with someone else, I’m committing to putting myself first and foremost.I’m also committing to being kind and understanding to myself, and I’m also committing to loving and growing with myself as I grow; I know I will make mistakes because who doesn’t make mistakes?
But those mistakes are gonna be my learning stepping stone to becoming a better version of who I know I can be and should be for myself and no one else. Who better to be married to me than me? I choose me for now and forever. It’s all me.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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Pressure
I hate reliving the past, but it is so difficult not when a simple word can take me to a negative part of something that was supposed to be a dream come true. It was a dream come true the first day I was on cloud nine because my heart overflowed with love.
Anytime I saw our lives together, I saw it through his eyes because having the ability to see through his eyes made everything seem peaceful and grateful. I was selfish because I wanted and needed things to be perfect.
I never really understood what the obsession needed to be perfect until a few years later, I found myself in situations where it was not so perfect for me to be apart.
Not being perfect was out of the question because I did not want him to rethink his choice of being with me.
So, in my mind, I had to be flossed because even though the world never asked me to be perfect, I put pressure on myself to be someone I was never built to be.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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Home
The world spins on, and I'm here standing still, Haunted by the space that only you can fill. I've penned my chapters, but the ink runs dry, It's your name that echoes under every sky. Oh, the one who got away, do you feel the space we made? In every crowd, it's you I seek, in every shadow, every shade. I'm stepping forward, but my heart remains behind, In the hope that you'll return, and once more I'll find... The safety of your arms, the harbor of your embrace, Where every shattered piece falls back into place. You're the missing verse, the melody that stays, The home within your arms, the light in all my days. I've tried to lock the door, leave the past behind, But your love was the key, the one of a kind. If whispers in the wind could bring you to my door, I'd send a thousand words, like waves upon the shore. Oh, the one who got away, can you hear my heart's refrain? I'm searching for the echo of your voice, calling my name. I'm moving forward, but I'm looking back in vain, For the one who got away, to bring me home again. So here's my love letter, to the one who slipped through, The one who held my heart, in ways only you knew. If you ever feel lost, if you ever long for home, Remember my arms are waiting, and you're never alone. Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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Beauty isn’t everything
Strength, indeed, is a remarkable form of beauty. It transcends mere appearances, reaching deep within the core of every woman. It’s the quiet resilience that carries her through storms, the unwavering determination that fuels her dreams, and the fierce courage that propels her forward.
Beyond the surface, where skin meets sunlight, lies a force that defies gravity. It’s the strength to rise after every fall, to lift others even when her own shoulders ache. It’s the beauty of scars—etched stories of battles fought and won.
A woman’s power is like the ocean—vast, mysterious, and teeming with life. She nurtures, creates, and transforms. Her laughter echoes through generations, and her tears water the roots of empathy. She is both the gentle breeze and the tempest, the quiet whisper and the thunderclap.
So let us celebrate this unseen beauty, this strength that binds us all. For it is in the quiet moments, the unyielding spirit, and the shared sisterhood that we glimpse the true power of a woman. 🌟💪🌸
Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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My Person
There is so much bullshit going on in the world beyond my heart.
But I seriously can not help and feel like I’m losing my fucking mind because there is no off switch to my brain or way to erase who and what he was in my life.
If I dare to erase that part of my life, even though it’s painful for me because my heart still loves very blindly, this type has taught me that I’m hell-strong and I was blessed to find my person and enjoy moments that no matter who might be crazy enough to step up and do better.
It won’t happen.
I firmly believe in people having one chance to find their person.
I found my person from the moment we locked eyes. We had terrific moments.
Even though we shared a wonderful moment, that wasn’t enough for me to ask for what I thought was best for the person I was back then because, back then, I refused to rock the boat.
After rocking the boat the way I did, I came to terms with the fact the person I chose to let go of my person.
It was too late to get back to the person in life.
What made this person my person was: He studied me and knew who I was before I could figure out who I was for myself.
Our love was one of a kind in our book because everything happened so quickly, and the best part about it was that everything we were was like a great puzzle piece.Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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Against wanting
To stop loving him, I need to use my heartlessness and allow my mind to take over.
Even with all the mind power we Retain as humans, I can’t stop thinking about him and how much I could make things different between him and me by making a simple wish. Life is more complex, though.
You can’t make a wish, and you get what you want. As people, sometimes we don’t get what we want. We get what we need, and as much as I might wish to him, he might be the last thing I need.
Ms.Butterfly Genesis
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Nothing I do with my life will ever make sense to anyone, and at this point in my life, I’m not looking to make sense to anyone but myself.
I understand why I get myself into situations. After all, I always dive in headfirst because I want what I want when I want it. But, unfortunately, I’m not the person to sit there and explain why I like what I want.
I’ve never been the type of female to say this is why I want this. So instead, I say I like it, trying my hardest to get what I want.
I’ve gotten a lot of the things because God has blessed me with them. However, my determination does not allow me to tear away from what I want; it might not be conventional for the rest of the world. It doesn’t have to be both of me; it’s right; it feels right.
I’m going to go with what feels suitable instead of being conventional. Everybody else might think I don’t care what anybody thinks; life is about being able to write your own rules and then follow them.
There’s nothing more straightforward when you can create your own rules and follow them because you know what you expect from yourself and no one else.
We live in times where nothing is conventional loan days, so why do I have to submit this box of convention all of a sudden because of what the world might say or think of me as a person.
As I become more transparent, I want people to know that I am not a conventional person.
I’m a person that goes on impulse. I fight tooth and nail for everything I want and have, and I believe that God has a huge part in everything that I say aspire to be I want to do with my life.
The most important lesson I want people to take away from this piece is that we must write all the rules and live by them because that’s the only way we can be happy.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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won’t
It’s not that I can’t stop speaking to him.
It’s more about how I feel when I don’t talk to him.
I couldn’t even imagine not speaking to him for as long as we did not. I guess what made it a little easier when we were not talking was that we were heavily involved in different relationships, and I wanted to move forward with my life.
Even though I knew that I could never be with anyone else, that was not him.Anyone asks me if I have a legit reason to stay away from him, my answer would have been yes, but I don’t because my heart would no longer beat if he weren’t around.
Despite all our back and forth, I can’t, or should I say, I don’t want to see myself doing life without him for two reasons I feel at home when he’s around.
He can finish my thoughts without me speaking to him, and everyone in the world looks for someone who can look at the other person know what the other person is thinking or feeling without saying, and that’s what I have with him.
He is everything I wanted, but I’m a grown-ass woman, and I have to take responsibility for why he and I are no longer together.
I always knew how to a bottle of my feelings. Then exploded with no return, and that’s what happened to me.
I could never be as transparent with him as I am today.
I was scared of losing him, so I just kept playing as superwoman while on the inside; I was dying, and I was falling apart, but I couldn’t share it with my partner because I didn’t want to seem weak, incapable of being with him.So I kept my feelings and my emotions to myself. Until the disastrous nightmare of me exploring, I was finally letting everything out.
It wasn’t the right time or the right place, but I didn’t know how to contain myself anymore.
That was going to be someone that I would spend the rest of my life with and that I was going to build a family, but I couldn’t tell him all I felt until I exploded.
I can imagine people reading this would be so confused about building a family with whom I couldn’t communicate my feelings.
Still, I’ve always been the type of person never to share my feelings or thoughts because I’ve always felt that no one is interested in knowing how I think, so whatever I might be going through, I keep it to myself.
I know my last statement will confuse the shit out of people because how could I not speak my feelings verbally, but I could write my feelings out on a public blog site with no problems, no fear of judgment.
My life has always been filled with contradictions, and I guess this is one of them because I don’t want to bother people with my feelings, but I don’t mind sharing my thoughts on a public blogs site.
Where strangers judge me on everything that comes out of my mouth because it’s not always perfect, but my feelings are shared.
One mistake changes my life for the rest of my life. My life has never been the same because I’ve never allowed myself to feel what I feel for him for anybody else. After all, he means that much to me.
I prayed that one day he would come back into my life and forgive me but never forget what I did, and in some way, we could start from scratch because that’s something my heart always desired.
My prayer came accurate after 15 years, but we haven’t started from scratch because his heart doesn’t want me. His soul belongs to someone else, and I’m not worthy of him forgiving me for what I did. But I also can’t keep punishing myself for something that happened 15 years ago every day, but he tells me he loves someone else. So it’s like punishing me because all I want to do is be with him no matter what he says.
I wish he could love me or at least allow us a second chance, but as I said in the previous lines before, I know I’m not worthy of him giving me a second look at me differently just because we’re older now.
Even though he doesn’t see the difference in me, I’ve been able to change because we can talk about things, and we have been able to be transparent as we want to be with each other without worrying about who’s feelings will get hurt.
Yes, I still have a mouth on me, and my mouth still finds ways of getting me in trouble, and it’s true that when it comes to change, I do it in my own time. But, if someone else wants me to do it, I feel prepared to make those changes for myself and not anybody else.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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What if’
When we live for what other people might say, we are not truly living for ourselves.
Other people’s what-ifs are just simple opinions but should never dictate how anyone should live.
As I am on chapter 40 in my life, I try to remember that every moment I live, I must cherish because those are the moments I’m going to take with me.
So I refuse to live my life in the bubble of what if’s.
If the what-ifs of other people rule your life, then the question should be why people’s opinions are more important than living in your truth.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis 🇩🇴
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The last I love you
A mother is the real backbone of the family.
When anyone loses a mother, it’s like losing a nurturing teacher, unconditional love.
The loss of a mother is always unexplained; we want answers, but we never get them; all we know is that they are no longer physically here with us, and we still need that person to mother us no matter how old we may become.
No matter how much time passes by, she is still going to be needed and wanted. So how am I supposed to cope with the fact that no matter how much we might need her, she is no longer here physically?
The only thing that can bring us peace in knowing that she is no longer in pain and that no matter where she is, she is always with us because we carry her in memories in our hearts with us every day that goes by.
Part of us has never been ready to bury the woman who gave us life, and we’re just trying to figure out how to continue life without her but understanding that she is watching over us.
It should be better than nothing.
No child should be prepared to bury a parent, and no parent should bury a child, but life doesn’t work that way.
For life to continue, we have to lose people we love to make room for new life to come into the world, but what we wouldn’t do for one last hug or to hear I love you.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis 🇩🇴
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Sharing Myself
Things have gotten so far to come back.
I wish I could share my feelings with the world to understand better what I’m doing wrong.
How in the right state of mind can I ever stop putting my heart on paper when I know the form is the only thing that allows me to be me without judgment or resentment for what I speak.
I enjoy fighting because that’s the only thing they give me a piece of mine, somewhere I can remove everything that I hold in.
After all, no one Is listening, but this piece of paper is in front of me.
When I put tons of writing, I never think of fame or fortune; I can write.
I’ve always written because I’ve ever had something to say in the best way to express myself in actual words that I can put on paper.
When I begin writing, I just did it. People just came naturally to me, and I couldn’t see myself doing anything else but that writing.Now that I’m older, I was hoping that my hand could help someone else and show them that just because I have a disability Does not mean I don’t have issues like everyone else. I have good relationships, bad relationships, and obstacles that most people don’t have to overcome.
Having a public play form to share some of my stories with people; would give people a better understanding that someone like me is just like them.
I don’t have many obstacles to overcome the many others don’t have to think twice about it because it becomes easy for them, and before plant planning to go anywhere, I have to plan to make sure that everything I need is going to be in place for when I need it.
A romantic relationship with someone has its ups and downs, just like any other person who is not physically challenged like me. One of the biggest questions I have to ask myself when I find myself in a relationship is this person here for me, or is it just a curiosity thing For that person. The question I have for myself does this person see me before you saw the chair.
I have to concern myself with this person here for me, or just out of pity Something many people don’t have to think about it. But, still, I didn’t because I have a disability that built up all these questions for everyone who comes into my life, and I plan to share my experience.Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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Whole Again
It’s natural to break someone’s heart.
The challenging part of dealing with someone who has been torn apart is knowing that you were The Who broke it.
I’m left wondering how I can make him whole again when I’m still struggling with putting myself back together because if he wants to take any responsibility for anything, I’m broken too.
I broke us by not being able to be transparent with him.
Being transparent means being vulnerable, and I hate being seen as a weak person; I have always been the one to protect my heart from any harm because no one knows better what my heart needs but for me.
I know honesty is the main focus of any relationship. I have always felt the absolute need for anyone to know about our past. My past defined if we would be in a relationship.
I don’t believe it would have, but I will never know because I could not and did not want to be that open book he wanted me to be.
I wanted to focus on the now and not the past.
I lied because I felt the need to protect myself.
By lying, I broke him, and I broke whatever future we could have.
I hope that he can be whole again with this time apart because no one deserves to be broke but love.
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UNSPOKEN
I don’t mind when people find themselves talking about me and the kind of person I am because people don’t mind wasting their time on little me, and my fanatic passed.
I guess the real-time I must worry about it is when people stop talking about me because it means I no longer matter if people choose to put my dirty laundry out.
I might as well come clean about things my way.
- I have always felt like an outsider in my family, but that’s my fault because I keep myself away.
- My first sexual experience was bittersweet because I learned another way to show someone else love. Five years and I can say it wasn’t worth the wait because it was love and passion.
- My marriage blew up in my face because I was trying to be my ex-husband’s superwoman instead of being honest with my partner about not being everything I wanted to be for him.
Also, not allowing my pride not to ask for help when needed. Marriage is no regret, but I was in love with the idea of love when it came to him.
- The divorce was unreal until I saw the papers were in my hand the first time; many more times than I had signed those papers, I felt like a bit of a piece of me was dying, and there was nothing to stop me from dying. Anytime I tell people that I thank my ex for the divorce because the divorce showed me the strength I never knew I had inside.
- Bestfriend
He was tough love.
That open ear.
That voice of reason.
My safety blanket when the world was beating me up.
He was my laughter.
He was my all-nightwalker, anything from our worldview to teach me how to love myself before loving anyone else.Most importantly, he was able to save me from me.
I fell in love with my best friend because he never gave me the chance to pretend to be someone else,
He got me.- It’s true someone bought me a dog until further notice is still paying my phone, and all we are is just friends. Yes, it’s true that he has strong feelings for me and why it has always been easy for me to get what I please.
I know it’s hard to believe that I can be friends with someone of the opposite sex for many of my haters. But, I don’t have to sell my soul to the devil or spared my legs open like most haters.
- Yes, I have done some kissing throughout my life, but my body has only had one. Can anyone of those who chooses to speak to me say the same about themselves? Probably not, but I can because I was taught to know better about my body.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis 🇩🇴
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Lifetime
A lifetime is simple forever.
A lifetime is a chance to grow together. Also, understand that it’s okay to be our person outside of our forever.
Lifetime should be something that no other human being besides God can pull apart.
Lifetime is the commitment that someone should make only in their lives because they know they found the one.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis 🇩🇴
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Under conditional love
Saying that she doesn’t care about me would be very unfair because I have seen with my own eyes what she has given up for me.
I have to be honest with myself and her. She has made me feel like I can’t get anything done for myself if she is not by my side.
That’s far from the truth because I believe in myself like I would love for her to believe in me.
For once, I don’t want her to see my chair or my physical limitations; I need her to see me as a person first.
As a person, I know right from wrong, and I also know that life is not easy for anyone to live, but it’s extra challenging because of my disability.
I understand that I am not considered typical for many people out in the real world. & I shouldn’t want my independence from my family, but I guess what I have struggled with most in life is not being seen or heard by the person who has had the strength to bring me into this crazy world.
I have always accepted the unexpected from strangers, but my mom is strict because I have seen her push my other siblings to want a better life.
As much as my disability plays such a big part in my day-to-day life, I would one day look behind me & see her push me to succeed in my own life & become that independent woman striving to be.
My limitations need to stop being seen as a life sentence and my motivation to show myself that anything is possible as long as I believe in who I am.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis 🇩🇴
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Makeover
Giving my room a makeover isn’t going to help me emotionally.
Yeah, my room would look beautiful because it does need a facelift.
It’s funny how she can come out of her face and says that she is disappointed in me, but what about the disappointment I hold inside about how I feel like a broken doll that she has not been allowed to think for herself.
I don’t get me started on how they make me feel. I’m just a piece of furniture that when people feel like it, they come by and say hello.
When I speak to outsiders, they tell me maybe if I should try a little hard to connect with the people I call my family, I agree, but then I begin thinking about all the ugly things I have heard them say about me.
Things like I’m not trustworthy; big mouth bitch lair your part of this family; no one likes you, and your dull.
It’s funny when she says that she is disappointed in me and that she has yet to see me as a woman but struggles with the thought of womanhood with me because of my disability.
The little ways I have made for myself have been behind her back because I always felt like she has put God’s fear.
, After all, she has never wanted me to have the same outcomes as my older siblings.
If I can be truthful, I would have to say that I have a lot more difficult because I can’t sit and have a conversation with her without her barking at me before completing my first sentence. Also, she has never been affectionate towards me.
I have struggled in my relationship with men because I don’t have a positive relationship with her regarding trust and being honest with people.
I don’t even know if she knows that I have had a sexual relationship because she has never bothered to have sex talk with me. Probably because of the broken doll that I’m, I should not be sexually active.
I’m disappointed in myself because I’m almost 39 years old.
I’m still living at home, trying to find my way through life and how to make a name for myself.
I was disappointed because I’m not where I would like to be; instead of making over my room, why not just support me because you believe me.Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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Damn
Damn, I am 38 years old, and I am not usually the one that handles it that this damn wheelchair or the fact that you had to give up your own life to take care of me because my damn disability won’t allow me to be as independent as I would love to be.
Yes, I am indeed in a wheelchair for the rest of my life, and honestly, I am good with that because that’s the hand god dealt us. She gave up her life so I could have a chance at having my own life.
A list of things that she does for me
1.she gets me out of bed every day
- she has to wash my ass because I can’t do it myself.
- She has dirty her own hands wipe my ass with the same hands that prepare my food every day.
- She is the one that waits up when I get home late from being out all night.
- It doesn’t matter what time of the night I need to be changed; she will drag herself out of bed because she has always said I’m her crossed. Her well-known cross carries with me until she is no longer her but with her heavenly to be home to be with our father.
I’m grateful for everything that she has done or given up on me. Although, sometimes, it might not seem that way because the things that have come out of my mouth are genuinely disrespectful.
I know there are better ways of communication, but I have not learned those skills yet.
I also understand that she hates when people hurt or try to hurt me, but I am grown.
She needs to start looking at me as a woman and not as a helpless little girl who will always need to help for the rest of her life.
Yes, it corrects that I am going to need someone to care for me.
We made it to 38 despite the disability, which is an accomplishment in itself. We made liars out of those doctors when they would say no, and God said yes; that should be an important reason she should be honored to see me as a woman because not one of us should be here to tell the story. Thirty-eight years later, and we still have more stories to tell. My wheelchair has never stopped me from having a personal life, so why should I have the power to prevent signs on my life when I have never allowed my chair to speak for me?
My chair has never been a stop sign, so I may have a relationship with whoever I choose to have in my life. However, I have never asked anyone to like who I was dating or pretend just for me.
All I have ever asked for is respect for who I am, and who I am is a woman that has not been perfect and has been caught in many lies because of my own doing. This chair does not make me less than any woman who is walking on two good legs. The chair is never going to go. Neither is the fact that I am no longer a little girl but a grown woman.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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Fly By
Anytime I have time to look back on things that happen in my life, I feel like I did not get the chance to enjoy what I had because all I was doing was flying by, so there was no real-time see.
Flying by is another way I deal with my feelings and thoughts simply because I pass right through my emotions and dreams because right at that moment, it feels right, but then again, I am left feeling alone and feeling empty.
Flying by always seems more straightforward than sticking around and dealing with the bullshit that surrounds my life right now. Taking a stand for my life and things suitable for me.
One of the things I am best known for is flying by and not being strong enough to stay and face the ugly side of me because I am a lot happier, just flying by as everyone has done in my life.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis🇩🇴
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Heart Giveway
Someone, please give her the cure for love.
She is desperate to find a cure to love because if she doesn’t try and find a cure for this damn thing called love, she will die a slow death over having no remedy for love.
Love can and should be a fantastic thing when people are in it for the right reasons.
The only way love can become painful is to make the right choices on who they give their heart to.
So the people’s defense is they don’t get to choose who they’re going to give their heart away to their heart’s do the choosing for them.
Granted, verbal, we have to say yes, but if our hearts don’t tell us what to say, we wouldn’t have any way to respond.
Our hearts choose what we follow because many believe that our spirit will never lead us in the wrong direction.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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Temporary
Temporary people always find a way to teach you long-term lessons.
Temporary people are not meant to be long-term people, no matter how bad we would like to make them long-term people.
Temporary people can give us what we want for the moments or make us live unforgettable moments that we may never be able to live again because those moments were meant to be lived with those temporary people.
Temporary people are like seasonal weather; they don’t stick around long enough for anyone to get comfortable or get to know them better.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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Unattractive
Let me start by saying I’m not a relationship expert, but I was having a conversation with one of my girlfriends, and she inspired me to put this piece together.
Just remember what I said in the first line; I’m not a relationship expert.
I’ve been in good and bad relationships to know that no matter how much a woman can love a man more than anything else in the world, that still won’t be enough to keep him.
As women, we become so consumed in relationships with men that we forget about our own identities and the things that made us happy before we became a unit.
As women, we also try to be the man in everything possible, so they feel catered to.
No matter how much we want to cater to them, there are no guarantees that that man will be your be-all, just like a woman wants, a man to be her be-all as well.
Like I’ve said many times before, I’ve been married before.
One of the main things that I learned being married is I was trying to be his superwoman by taking care of things that we should have been doing together because we were supposed to be a unit.
I guess I never pushed him to take on a husband’s role because I did not want to seem weak.
I made it seem like I had everything under control because I wanted to keep him happy.
Still, I did more damage than good because I wasn’t honest with him by letting him know that I couldn’t do everything myself that I needed his help.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that everyone comes into your life for a season, and with the purpose, whatever purpose that is, it’s up to that person to find out and determine if that person is willing to stick around find out what the purpose was.
I continuously tell my girlfriends that they need to love themselves before love can find them.
My divorce taught me how strong I was as a woman and as a person. But, of course, that divorce alone was hell.
I never thought that I would make it through it. But, I did, and I became a stronger person because of it.
Of course, people hate when I thank my ex-husband for filing for divorce.
Still, I thank him because, going through such a traumatic divorce, I learned that the one person I could rely on always was me because everybody else was busy saying I told you so while my heart was breaking.
If I could have a moment of honesty, I honestly didn’t think I could make it through that and still want to find love or allow love to see me.
Love found me, but I had no idea how to appreciate it until I no longer had it.
Being single for two years has taught me that I can’t lose focus when I’m in a relationship with anyone.
I am at my happiest right now because I’m doing things I never thought I would do.
Even though I might not have all the recognition I desire to have, I am at my happiest right now because I’m doing things I never thought I would be doing.
The stuff I have going on with myself right now might not be essential to people, and they might not believe in me, but I believe in me.
I am my main focus right now, but I’m not going to close the door on love.
If love happens to find me again, I would be willing to listen and do many things differently, but the main thing I would do differently is no forget about me and things that make me happy, whether my partners believe in me.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is the date of showing love to that special someone in your life.
No one should need a day like Valentine’s Day to say I love you to someone or need such a date to show people how you feel about them.
Every Day is a chance for someone to tell that person that they love them as long as they’re here on earth; even after they leave, this earth that loved one should know that we still love them.Don’t get me wrong; I’ve always been the type of person to be into special days like Valentine’s Day and any other holiday, even though Valentine’s Day is not a holiday.
Any day they can get me spoiled, especially Valentine’s Day. I’m all for it because that one time in the year that, as women, we feel unique and catered to by the man that loves us.
I should say I love you without having to have a special occasion like Valentine’s Day to say I love you to someone.
Even when couples go to bed mad, they should say I love you because you never know if that might be the last I love you you hear again.
The state but we’ve been living in as a nation should be able to say I love you with no hesitation because, like I just said, no one has a clue if we’re ever going to hear from our love again.
So let’s not hold onto pettiness and say I love you every chance we get.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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Testing Love
She Will never know what real love is until she is willing to test it.
Testing love by arguing and knowing that we will be saying I love you by the end.
Testing love is compromising & understand that when we compromise, not one person won over the other, but what it means is their growth within us.
One of the most significant challenges of testing love is when the world feels the need to test the strength of what others think real love should.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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The Heartbeat
The heartbeat was a gift from God himself.
The heartbeat that would change my life because that’s when I understood a tiny human lived inside
of me.
The moment your heartbeat came through, we became this unbreakable team because we needed
each other from that day forward.
Now that you are here, I can’t believe that I ever questioned if I could be your mom, but as long as I
have you by my side, I know anything is possible, and as time goes on, we will be growing together.
I know we will make mistakes along the way, but I am grateful that you have chosen to be your mom.Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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How many Times
How many of us say that we won’t look back?Not looking back is because how can anyone grow when we are busy looking back for something we believe is missing.
Missing it because we never got what we deserved from the person we thought we should have arrived.
I guess that’s the main reason we become curious and give ourselves the chance to look back because we don’t want to live with the what if in our lives.
The moment we begin to live out the look back, the curious becomes a feeling of what I’m doing and a feeling of emptiness, looking for a way to fill it by looking back for that one thing we didn’t get the first time around.
M.B.G. �
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Trial & Error
I’ve been going through some changes in myself; a wrong decision has me questioning myself, but I don’t want anybody to pity me because I don’t need anybody to help me.
So I’m going to deal with the hand I was sold.
Unfortunately, trial & Error is something that happens throughout life.
But, to find that special something in life, we must be strong enough to go through trial and Error. Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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Body Shaming
Hoe is a disrespectful word.
It’s a word to describe a woman that has no self-respect for themselves.I’m the complete opposite of a scraper. I respect myself cause I’m not throwing myself to the highest bitterness about getting anything I want.
I define who I’m as a woman.
I believe my clothes and consent of my body I decided what to show doesn’t make me a hoe.
A wheelchair under my ass gets me looked at because, after all, Americans like to pretend like they have not seen someone in a wheelchair.
I choose to show off what God has blessed me with because half the world believes we should not be heard or seen because of our disabilities.
As a disabled woman, I have not always been comfortable with my body.Still, honestly today, I can say I have slowly become pleased with myself and what my body has become today.
With all that said, I’m not going to hide anymore or allow anyone to body shame me. I did too much body shaming to myself, so enough.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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Dear Self
She wants to speak for herself through my own words, but no real clue how to do so because she has blocked herself from emotionally feeling anything.
She has become terrified.
To scratch open those feelings can be overwhelming, and who knows if she can handle the aftermath.
She struggles with writing to herself because she has no idea how to open up to herself.
The only thing she can hope for as she sits down with this pen & paper in her hand is that she has a significant breakthrough with herself.
The first thing she would need to tell herself is to stop looking for people’s approval.
The only consent she needs is herself.To scratch open those feelings can be overwhelming, and who knows if she can handle the aftermath.
She struggles with writing to herself because she has no idea how to open up to herself.
The only thing she can hope for as she sits down with this pen & paper in her hand is that she has a significant breakthrough with herself.
The first thing she would need to tell herself is to stop looking for people’s approval.
The only consent she needs is herself.To scratch open those feelings can be overwhelming, and who knows if she can handle the aftermath.
She struggles with writing to herself because she has no idea how to open up to herself.
The only thing she can hope for as she sits down with this pen & paper in her hand is that she has a significant breakthrough with herself.
The first thing she would need to tell herself is to stop looking for people’s approval.
The only consent she needs is herself.How can anyone approve of who and what her options might be if she can’t recommend me as a person?
She shouldn’t hate the body because everyone around her has always found something negative about it.
She knows that she must uplift herself & treat her body like a temple and not abuse it by having a love–hate relationship with food.
She put all the responsibilities of hating her body on others.
However, she also must realize that she has never been strong enough to tell those people to shut the fuck up when they say she is fat.
She smiles and plays it off like it never bothers her. Or take it out on herself by starving herself and throwing up, hoping the pain would go away.
It took her a long time to figure out that she has a horrible relationship with food, which doesn’t hurt them because they never have to go through the motion of hating or starving themselves as she does.
She guesses that for them, it’s a lot easier to say if she would kill herself, go ahead and do it because it’s one less person they need to worry about.
Starving herself has never been the correct answer to her problems, but it’s always been her way of dealing with her pain.
She has always been able to preach to people how they should stand up for themselves and how no one should have the power to bully them.
She is such a pretender because she pretended to be this healthy person who doesn’t allow herself to get intimidated.
When in her heart of hearts, she has constantly been bullied by people and the things they say about her body and her as a person.Just a smile on her face and pretend that it doesn’t bother her until she finds herself alone with her thoughts & feelings.
Instead of telling them to shut the fuck up, she places a smile like nothing is wrong.
She struggles to stand up for herself because she knows that she is invisible so that no one can see or hear.
Suppose she was going to stand up for herself. She would tell herself it’s not her fault that people feel or see her, and it’s not her job to try and change them.
She needs to accept herself, no matter what anyone might be thinking of her.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis
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I wish
Whatever you saw in me one day, I wish you could still know that about me.
So I could believe in what we once had just because I don’t want my heart holding on to anything that might not be there.I want to feel like that woman who caught the man’s eye that she could not stand because he thought he had so much swag.
You need to make me feel like that woman who was able to feel a billion butterflies; the only way she could handle being around him was to look away from him once in a Blue Moon.
So it would not be so apparent that she was into him and that he could have a standing chance if he played his cards right.
The only way she could feel that way was to find it within himself to become that person; my eyes once became glued too.
So I understand that it takes two to go and come back from what we were.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis�
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Pen & paper
It’s been a while since I have taken pen to paper to say how I feel.
I made it to my 35th birthday with more blessings & love than a girl handle, but I made it.
God heard when I said I was not ready to go anywhere yet.
Every day I open my eyes; it is a struggle, but I have been blessed to open my eyes for another crazy day.
Thirty-five years old & I am still learning about life as the days go by
I didn’t have to ask for anything as I blow out the candles because I am not missing anything in my life for the first time.
I’m whole as a person because I can finally put myself first without feeling guilty that I should go.
Wow, it took me 35 years; that’s oh okay if I care for myself first, but will I ever indeed be understanding?
Ms. Butterfly Genesis 🇩🇴
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Non-verbal
When I write, people know about me because I speak about things I’ve gone through and have conversations with people who inspire me to write the things I put together.
I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve ever posted because it comes from within me, not anyone else.
I may not always write correctly, but I do let out what I have been holding in because I have never bothered to learn how to express myself verbally or just never wanted to learn how to express myself verbally.
Writing has always been a joy and will always be a piece of me floating around somewhere on a piece of paper that someone might run into.
I‘m not going to apologize for anything I’ve ever allowed anyone to see or read because every single piece I’ve put together, as I said at the beginning, has been a piece of my life or a simple conversation that might have happened between me and someone.
I never imagined that speaking from the heart meant that I could be bashing someone’s character, and I’m so far from that I don’t believe in breaking anyone down or making them feel less than to make myself feel better about myself.
I know who I am, and I might not go far with my blog, but it gives me a sense of purpose and meaning, and gratitude to those interested in reading what I have to say.
My dream and passion have always been writing, and that’s all that is to me. Oh yeah, I’m 39. I was born with a disability called cerebral palsy, which means I did not get enough oxygen during birth.
That’s why I use a motorized wheelchair to live my day-to-day life. My primary caregiver is my mom, but I also have personal aids that come eight hours a day, seven days a week; if it weren’t for them, I would not do my basic tasks without my team of people.
Ms.Butterfly Genesis 🇩🇴
The Memoir Of Ms. Butterfly 