Tag: Peace

• Happy 44th Heavenly Birthday

  

  

  Your birthday came and went, and I couldn’t even focus on writing you a simple post like I usually do on your birthday and the day of your anniversary. 

  Writing would be easier because all I have left is a pen and paper to communicate with you.

  I hate that the only way I can communicate with you is through paper and pen, but I’ll settle so that I can talk to you, and maybe one day, you send me a sign that you’re reading what I’m writing to you.

   There are so many things that I lay up later that night wondering how we would have celebrated you and shown you that we loved you and they were blessed to have you, even if it is just you being an angel; there are so many things that I lay up later that night wondering how would we have celebrated you and showed you that we loved.

  I’m assuming you get tired of listening to us tell you how much we miss and love you and wish you were still here with us so you could be enjoying every moment and every second the way we are so that we could feel complete.

  I will share a little secret with you, even though I know nothing is a secret, because you can see everything from where you are. I’ve been made to feel like your departure shouldn’t hurt me or that I shouldn’t consider you my sister-in-law because I’m no longer married to your knucklehead brother. It kills me when anyone says she wasn’t family to you and we were family because you and I would always consider ourselves sister-in-laws no matter how much time went by.

  I had no clue that for me to feel your departure, you and I had to have blood running through our veins, the same blood for me to fill anything from your departure. To this day, I’m still waiting for anyone to wake me up from the nightmare of you not being here and me not being able to pick up the phone and hear your voice or send you a funny text message and wait for you to respond. 

  It’s a nightmare when your birthday comes around because I have no one to call to wish her a happy birthday and tell you. I’ll see you soon. Besides that, I have no one to gossip with, no one to share my feelings with, or just plain laugh with.

  If I had a genie in a bottle, they could make my three wishes come true. You would be number one, and for one reason only: you would be number one, and for one reason only, you would be number one because you have left so many people with many questions and answers we will never get. And I want to see you one last time.

  I know I shouldn’t question your departure, and I’m not going to, but that doesn’t mean I’m not mad as hell, and the only reason why I’m mad as hell is that as much as I heard your voice that last day that has never been enough for me.

  The other reason is that your brother doesn’t know what to do with himself without you here. I no longer want to see him in pain, and I know if you were here, he wouldn’t be in as much pain as he is in right now; he wouldn’t be questioning life if you were here.

  I know you did not mean to leave your family, your children, but you left them with a lot of unanswered questions, and I just fucking miss you. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. I miss you.

  I want you here so I can know that I can pick up a phone and hear your voice at the end of the other line.

  I love and miss you, and you will forever be my sister-in-law, no matter who, no matter who doesn’t like it.

  Ms. Butterfly Genesis

  December 7, 2023

  Angel, Bestfriend, daughter, Hardship, Love, mother, Peace, Sis in law, sister

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• Challenges

  

  Close one door before opening another door. 

  I am trapped in a doorway I have tried to close for many years.

  It’s been unhealthy for my heart and soul just because I have poured myself and what I don’t into the impossible.

  The part of who I am is I don’t back down from a challenge because, from the first moment I could take my first breath, I knew I was born to be a fighter.

  Regarding matters of the heart, I’m a total fuckup because my heart has blinders that part of me is not ready to lift and have the truth slapped in the face. 

  The process of rebuilding is having the truth slapping me in the face but not all at once, but it is not giving me a choice or how much of it gets in my front.

  I guess the moral of my story is simple and that is must put on my big girl panties and challenge myself by facing my fuck up.

  Ms. Butterfly Genesis

  June 22, 2023

  believe, Learning, Love, made it, Peace, Struggling, Teachable

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• Puzzle Of Mental Health

  

  Stephen Boss, a charismatic hip-hop dancer and television personality known as tWitch who rose to fame on the reality show “So You Think You Can Dance” before becoming a regular on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” died on Tuesday in a motel room in Los Angeles. He was 40.

  The death was ruled a suicide by the Los Angeles County medical examiner’s office.

  Mr. Boss joined “So You Think You Can Dance” in 2008 as a 25-year-old with a talent for popping — a dance form associated with hip-hop that involves isolating parts of the body with a staccato rhythm — and an ability to make the judges burst into laughter with his facial expressions and theatrics.

  He soon found himself dancing unfamiliar styles like the waltz and the tango on national television, and he finished the show’s fourth season as runner-up. Later in the series, Mr. Boss performed a hip-hop duet with Ellen DeGeneres — featuring him as a therapist in a sweater vest and her as his client — that would shape the rest of his career.

  As a bubbly presence on TV who liked to wear a fedora and often broke into dance, Mr. Boss spent nearly a decade with “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” as D.J., guest host and, eventually, an executive producer. “I count on him to look over at and make silly jokes,” Ms. DeGeneres said in an episode this year, the show’s last. “He’s my pal; he’s my sidekick.”

  In 2000, Boss graduated from Lee High School in Montgomery, Alabama, and studied dance performance at Southern Union State Community College in Wadley, Alabama, and Chapman University. 

  Boss first auditioned in 2007 for Season 3 of the show and appeared on the program. Unfortunately, twitch was not selected to be in the Top 20. He returned to audition again in Season 4 in 2008; he was chosen to compete in the Top 20 and was the runner-up after fellow hip-hop dancer Joshua Allen who won. During Season 4, he danced with Katee Shean to a Contemporary piece choreographed by Mia Michaels.

   The dance was nominated for an Emmy for Choreography in the 61st Primetime Emmy Awards.

  In season 5, Boss again appeared on So You Think You Can Dance with fellow season 4 contestant Katee Shean to perform their Emmy-nominated piece “Mercy,” choreographed by Mia Michaels. He was one of the 11 “All-Stars” for season 7. Twitch often was an All-Star in Seasons 7, 8, and 9 of So You Think You Can Dance, performing memorable routines, including the hip hop number “Outta Your Mind” with ballet dancer Alex Wong, which comedian Ellen DeGeneres reprised in Season 7’s finale. He was the team captain for “Team Street” in Season 12 of So You Think You Can Dance. He was announced as a permanent judge for the seventeenth season in 2022. He had an apparel line called Twitch Clothing.

  I have to share my husband with the heaviest of hearts. Unfortunately, Stephen has left us,” Boss’ wife, Allison Holker Boss, 34, confirms to PEOPLE. “Stephen lit up every room he stepped into. He valued family, friends, and community above all else, and leading with love and the light was everything to him. He was the backbone of our family, the best husband and father, and an inspiration to his fans.

  His final Instagram post on Monday showed him and Holker dancing in front of a Christmas tree and celebrating the holidays. Boss is survived by his wife, Allison, and children Zaia, 3, Maddox, 6, and Weslie, 14.

  I genuinely hate writing about stories of people who lost their own life at their own hands because it seems more accessible than asking for help.

   I struggle with it myself, asking for help because I depend on my daily personal care, and I find it humiliating to admit that I would need mental help.

   But unfortunately, the world has never made it easy for people to get the service they deserve; most people believe that asking for it is a sign of weakness, but in reality, people should try and look at it as a sign of strength.

  Having the strength to realize when help is needed should be considered positive, which means we choose ourselves and those who love us. In a statement on Wednesday, Ms. DeGeneres said she was “heartbroken” over the death, calling Mr. Boss “pure love and light.

  Stephen Laurel Boss was born on Sept. 29, 1982, in Montgomery, Ala., to Connie Boss Alexander and Sandford Rose. He started dancing as a teenager and earned the nickname tWitch because he could not stop moving in school or church. People saw his joy in making TikTok dance with his lovely wife.

  Dancing brought him joy and peace, but that was not enough to complete what probably made him feel alone. We can look happy and try to feel the happiness within ourselves, but no one, not even DJ twitch, knows how to handle the pressure of his life when the cameras are off. 

  Ms. Butterfly Genesis

  

  December 24, 2022

  Alone, darkness, depression, Gone, Help, Life, Peace, Struggles

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• Home

  

  

  Home is comfy.`
  Home is safety.
  Home is love.
  Home understands that no matter how badly I could mess up, those arms will welcome me back and let me know everything will be okay.
  Home has never been perfect; home is what I have made it to be, and the main thing I have completed my home, home to be is something unstable because I love to push my boundaries. Still, even I can say I have gone too far with my limits; that’s why finding a place in what I call home is challenging.
  Places, people, and things have limitations, and we can push until we can’t push anymore, but there is no grant that we won’t be left alone because we took it upon ourselves to go overboard.

  The moral of my story is I pushed until I could not push anymore, and now that I want to find my place at home, I don’t have one. Too much damage has been done, so the home I once knew of love is no longer love but a lot of what-ifs.

  If we don’t want to lose what home is, we have to understand what home is and what home brings to our souls.

  Ms. Butterfly Genesis

  November 11, 2022

  Challenge, Change, find, Home, Love, Me, Peace, slap, Struggles

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• Single

  I am single.
  I’m unavailable to the world because I am getting to know who I am without the definition of someone else.

  I’m Single because I need to put myself back together to be whole for myself.

  I’m single because I want to see what someone can bring to the table before I leave my card out on the table. It’s no longer going to be 50-50. It’s going to be 100, 100. We should both give the best of each other to each other.

  I am single because I choose to be alone. Everyone’s always afraid to be alone, and I’m not because being alone has allowed me to see what type of woman I am and what I’m capable of when I don’t have somebody holding me down.

  Single life can be the best time in anyone’s life because this is the one time we get to Discover. Who we are. and the things that we want for ourselves? Before we commit ourselves to someone who truly has no idea of what we want or what we are looking for because we have not even taken the time to figure out what we want or what we’re looking for when it comes to a partnership.

  I want to believe that I’m using this time wisely, and what I mean by that is I am in a place where I can say I’m strong like myself every day. I discover something new about myself every day; I challenge myself by doing something different or being more open-minded about certain things that I would never be open-minded about.

  One of the most important things I’m learning about myself through this self-discovery is that I’m more than capable of taking care of myself. As I said, I might not be a millionaire, but I can manage myself and manage whatever comes my way because I am strong, I am wise beyond my years, and it’s OK not to have an OK when I feel like the world is caving in on me.

  As long as I’m strong enough to come back and face the world in the world is ready for me, I’m good to go. I never knew how strong I was until I had to be. If it wasn’t for my faith-testing me every day and showing me that I could get through anything as long as I believed and put my trust in him.

  Thank you for testing my faith and giving me my confidence in myself, and then you support me through anything that seems like the impossible thing to get through.

  Ms. Butterfly Genesis

  

  April 18, 2022

  amazing, Heart, Life, Peace, pieces, race, Time mistakes, trust, understanding

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