I‘m grappling with the reasons behind my high expectations for our meeting. I regret that I placed such a heavy burden on our interaction.
The easy answer or the cowardly answer would be. I’ve missed you for a long time, so I took a leap of faith in something. I had yet to learn how it was going to turn out or if it was going to turn out at all. The fact that I miss you does not hurt. I allow myself to build up all these different expectations because we’re adults, and we should be able to lay all the cards on the table and speak our truth.
Whatever our truth is, that’s what we should speak about. I’m angry at myself for setting myself up for expectations. I’m always the first one to preach about not expecting anything. That way, when you don’t receive what you believe you should’ve received, there’s no disappointment because there were no expectations. The excitement of knowing I would be in your presence again over to my better judgment and memory loss of the times you chose to go MIA on me.
Once again, I’ve learned that having no expectations is better than having some, as I’m tired of being let down. Even with all the disappointments I’ve been through, I’ve always managed to see the good in people. But if I were to disappoint someone, I’d be the worst person alive. Yet, as I’ve learned, it’s better not to expect than to expect something from nothing.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis
The Memoir Of Ms. Butterfly 