Category: Relgigion

She Won’t Ask God”

by Ms. Butterfly Genesis

Last night,
my conversation with God was easy.
No thunder.
No trembling sky.
Just one question,
soft-spoken,
But heavy like a thousand unsaid things.

I didn’t ask for miracles.
I asked if she’d ever understand.
Not you—God.
Her.
The woman who gave me life
But clipped the wings before I learned to fly.

She won’t ask God.
She won’t ask if she ever knew the pain
of removing pieces of me
like clutter from a shelf—
because she felt like it,
because she thought it wasn’t good enough
for the version of me she imagined.

And maybe that’s the part that stings.
Not the silence.
Not the absence.
But the belief
that a mother could mold a child
by subtraction.

I take my seat in this life
With full accountability.
I own the detours,
The broken mirrors,
The dreams I folded into corners
because I thought they’d fit better there.

But what gets under my skin—
What burns slow like incense in a locked room—
Is the thought,
not the proof,
just the thought
that someone who gave me breath
might use that same power
to choke out my becoming.

Not because she’s evil.
Not because she hates me.
But because she never saw the garden
growing wild in my chest
and thought the weeds were all there was.

And maybe I do sound crazy.
But crazy is just the truth
With no place to land.

So I ask God,
not for vengeance,
not for clarity,
But for the grace
to keep growing
even when the soil remembers
Every hand that tried to uproot.

by Ms. Butterfly Genesis

August 1, 2025

believe, Faith, First, mother, questioning, Unwanted
Dear Beloved,

Though I cannot hear your voice or feel your embrace, my heart reaches out to you with every word I write. If only I could pick up the phone and hear your laughter again, it would fill the emptiness that echoes within me. Instead, I settle for this pen, pouring my soul onto paper, hoping to stay connected with you, even for a fleeting moment.

I know you see everything—every stumble, every tear, every triumph. You watch over us, even when the weight of it all might feel unbearable. But still, I want to tell you, just in case you ever feel like letting go. I miss you more than words can capture, and I know I’ve fallen short, often letting you down when I should have stood stronger. For that, I am sorry.

Life has been chaotic since you’ve been gone. Old habits crept back into my days, and I struggled to find footing. And yes, I’ve been told I’m a little crazy—but I’m working on it, honestly. I’m rebuilding myself, this time for me. I’m learning to close the lingering chapters left open for far too long, finding the courage to face what I once avoided.

I miss your laughter most of all—the way it lit up the room and reminded me of the love you held for your family. The babies are here now; your granddaughter would’ve been your joy. I wish you could be here to see how life has unfolded, dress her up in little outfits, and revel in the pride of our boys becoming the men you always knew they could be. I hope you can feel how much we love and honor you, even when we stumble.

Please continue to watch over us, pray for us, and guide us with your spirit. I promise to keep speaking to you in every way I can, holding onto the bond that time and space can never break.

**Amen.

April 23, 2025

Life, Love, Mental health, relationships, Writing
When a country weeps

Why must it take the earth to quake,
for our hearts to turn to heaven’s gate?
A whole nation trembling, breaking apart,
mourning the lost, the unfound, the aching heart.

God was here when skies were blue,
when the streets buzzed bright, fresh and new.
But only now, amid ash and cries,
do we plead for Him with lifted eyes.

Why can’t His name live on our breath,
not just in moments shadowed by death?
Why can’t we hold faith as we hold our joy,
as tightly as grief grips the motherless boy?

I see it now—God doesn’t leave,
His whispers dance in the morning breeze.
In every triumph, every despair,
His hands are there, His love declared.

So I hold those dear, clasp them tight,
their laughter, their sorrows, their fleeting light.
For tomorrow’s promise is never sure,
but love, in this moment, will always endure.

Ms. Butterfly Genesis

my condolences to all my beautiful people from the Dominican Republic. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you and we will get through this maybe not today maybe not tomorrow but we will get through this.

April 10, 2025

Condolences, disbelief, Faith, God, Negligence, trust
Two heart beat that became one

One heartbeat under the one gives us life.

I miss and love you more than anything.
You should be so proud of me. I finally was able to tell your daddy about you. I want to believe he was super excited to know that there was a part of him and I grow together.

Funny but not funny, your daddy called you into existence and was very persistent about your existence.
I’m not going to lie; I was low-key and over the moon. I’m excited to know that I had you inside me because, in my eyes, I was going to have a part of your dad that nobody could ever take away or deny just because you would’ve been just like him.

I’m speaking from my mother’s intuition when I say that; I know you would’ve been a spitting image of him, including attitude.
It would’ve been a true honor and a blessing to have a little piece of you on earth with me, even if you would’ve driven me up the wall sometimes, but I wouldn’t have changed it for anything in the world.
Simply because I know you would’ve represented your father and me so very well in this world, and most importantly, you would’ve been my protector, my savior, because one of the first things your dad wouldn’t tell you was never allowed anyone to pick on your mom you always defend your mom no matter what no matter who it is, you come to your mother’s defense?

But even though you’re no longer here for whatever reason, God only knows why; I won’t question why. I will say, see you later, and please keep watching over all of us, especially your dad.
Your dad needs your energy, your strength, and your clarity. I know it’s a lot to ask of you, but please watch over him and give him a reason to continue to fight and show him that your life wasn’t in vain.

Thank you for six amazing weeks. Thank you for making me understand. Things happen when they’re supposed to happen, not when we want them to happen, and I believe that you were meant to be, but for whatever reason, you didn’t come through all the way.
You may have a bigger purpose you need to accomplish in heaven that you couldn’t do down here. That’s why you left. Whatever the reason, I’m glad you are watching me and protecting me as your father would’ve told you to do.

Ms. Butterfly Genesis

September 12, 2023

Challenging, changing, Growth, Heartbeat, human, Life, Love
My Person

There is so much bullshit going on in the world beyond my heart.
But I seriously can not help and feel like I’m losing my fucking mind because there is no off switch to my brain or way to erase who and what he was in my life.
If I dare to erase that part of my life, even though it’s painful for me because my heart still loves very blindly, this type has taught me that I’m hell-strong and I was blessed to find my person and enjoy moments that no matter who might be crazy enough to step up and do better.
It won’t happen.
I firmly believe in people having one chance to find their person.
I found my person from the moment we locked eyes. We had terrific moments.
Even though we shared a wonderful moment, that wasn’t enough for me to ask for what I thought was best for the person I was back then because, back then, I refused to rock the boat.
After rocking the boat the way I did, I came to terms with the fact the person I chose to let go of my person.
It was too late to get back to the person in life.
What made this person my person was: He studied me and knew who I was before I could figure out who I was for myself.
Our love was one of a kind in our book because everything happened so quickly, and the best part about it was that everything we were was like a great puzzle piece.

Ms. Butterfly Genesis

February 9, 2023

believe, Challenge, Faith, God, happiness, Love, mistakes, possibilities, powerful
Gift Or Plan

God has a plan for everyone who enters the world.

However, I have never been quite sure what his goal has been since I was born.

The only thing I have been sure of is having that gift of sharing my story on my blog and showing the rest of the world that the disabled community has a story to tell, and no one else doesn’t know our stories and struggles better than the ones who live it.

The world wants to believe that we should be put away or don’t want to better for ourselves because we already have so many limitations to who we are. My boundaries have made me strive for the best because the world doesn’t accept me to want the best for myself.

Ms. Butterfly Genesis

November 23, 2021

Blessings, Challenge, Faith, God, Handle, powerful, Strength, Struggles, unknown
Death

It troubles my soul when people tell me that there’s a part of life like I don’t know how the circle of life revolves.

I understand that living isn’t forever then; for this world to continue, we need to continue procreating new life to keep going, but that does not make it easier when you lose someone you care about.
None of us was born with the skill to say goodbye to someone we love or care about as a person, but it’s something that we often do; the most upsetting part to me is why we should have to say goodbye and why can’t we say see you later.

I believe that those who have passed on, no matter how heartbroken we are because they left us behind to deal with the pain and grief. Not having them a part of our lives anymore, we will see them again better than ever and with more energy than they had when they were here in the physical world with us.

Course, we don’t want to believe it or understand it because we’re still under so much grief in so much pain. But, as the suffering gets somewhat better, it doesn’t go away; we have to believe that they are better off, keeping a better eye on us from wherever they are in the heavens.

Yes, I would love to say they’re better here in the physical world with us because at least we’re able to see them talk to them and touch them to let them know we’re here for them. But, still, I don’t want to see any of them in pain, suffering, asking themselves when is the time coming so they could get out of their misery of everyday pain and not being able to live a whole life because of something holding them back.

The only thing that gives my heart peace is knowing that the ones I’ve lost are no longer in pain or wondering when the time will come where they don’t have to feel any more pain or depend on anyone to help them manage themselves. But it hurts not to have them here with me to see them here in the voice, even though I can hear the voice inside my heart. Although, of course, I can feel them when I know I know and understand they’re always with me no matter what, but that does not take away that I need them here in the physical world with me, so I don’t feel so alone.

Ms. Butterfly Genesis 🇩🇴

October 30, 2021
Only God Knows

Can we start over?

If we do start over, how do we even know where to begin.

Those questions can & only be answered by God as long as we place our faith in him.

Anytime something happens to alter our lives, trust that God has a lesson that needs him to teach in
his way and help us grow or help understand things that, in other ways, we would not be able to
understand ourselves.

So at this point, God is the only one who knows where and who will join us. Don’t question God, allow
him to do what he does best, and challenge us anytime he blesses us with a brand new day.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis

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August 16, 2021

ask, Challenge, Faith, Love, powerful, prayers, questioning my faith, Strength, Struggles, true
Religion

Religion is known as the higher power to believe in.

Faith.

Strength.

Peace.

Unconditional love.

Excepting.

Forgiveness.

Understanding.

I don’t have to go into a church to believe in God or know that God is real.

God is everywhere, as long as we believe in him and in his actions.

Please don’t question my faith; God is the only one who can pass judgment on how much I believe in him.

Ms. Butterfly Genesis

August 16, 2021

believe, Faith, Gord, trust