I Showed Up Anyway”
I didn’t wake up strong today…
I woke up remembering.
Remembering a voice
that doesn’t call anymore.
Remembering a “later”
that never came.
And nobody prepares you for that…
the last normal conversation.
The last “I’ll call you back.”
The last time life felt… regular.
I’m not Ms. Butterfly today.
I’m Erika.
And Erika is tired.
Not tired like sleep…
tired like carrying moments
that never got to finish.
I still wonder if they’re okay.
I still think about his mom…
how do you survive losing two children?
Tell me that.
How?
And the boys…
they’re men now.
Living life
without the woman who gave them theirs.
And me?
I stand somewhere in between.
Not family…
but never not family.
Because love doesn’t disappear.
It just learns how to be quiet.
And today…
I’m not here to inspire you.
I’m not here to be perfect.
I’m not here to perform.
I’m here to feel.
To sit in it.
To breathe through it.
To not run from it this time.
Because this…
this is what Becoming looks like.
Not polished.
Not pretty.
Not put together.
Just real.
And even in all of this…
I showed up.
Not as who I thought I needed to be…
but as who I actually am.
And today?
That’s enough.
The Becoming Of Ms. Butterfly Genesis 
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