I live in a place where everything gets done for me from the time I open my eyes until I close my eyes to sleep.
Many people reading this would be like, I am living the life many wish they could live.
I only complain about my life because I have a beautiful mother who does not mind doing anything and everything for me.
She feels that no one else will carry the cross of caring for me.
I believe it’s time for my mother to stop carrying the cross of caring for me and allow me to show her that I can care for myself despite my disability.
I have always known and understood that my disability is going to be a part of my life.
I wish everyone could be more relaxed with the terms of my disability.
I don’t fear my disability because even though I am limited in many physical ways, I know I have other abilities in other ways.
As much as I love my mom, I need to be honest with myself, and I guess the rest of the world; she has hurt me by always keeping me sheltered and still making me feel that I could never be on my own because of my disability.
I have never believed that my disability could ever stop me from doing anything my heart desires, even though she has tried to put fear in my heart about being on my own.
I know that it will not be easy to be on my own, but nothing anyone wants should come easy to have.
I desire my own life despite my disability; unfortunately, she struggles to give my own life because of my body’s physical limitation on my life.
My limitations do not mean I should not have my own life. On the contrary, that means that I should fight harder for myself and not allow my limits to speak for me.
It would be wonderful if she could support me and not struggle so much to accept me the way I am.
As the new year comes in, I will stop talking about what I would like and do it even though I know I will break her in half. I know if I don’t break away from it, I will never be seen as anything more than just a disabled female & I know I am so much more than just that. But how can I be seen as more? When everyone is busy pointing to my limitations.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis
The Memoir Of Ms. Butterfly 