Why is asking for help such a difficult thing for people to do? We hurt ourselves a lot more when we can’t put our pride aside and say I need help because a lot of us have been conditioned to handle things alone, but sometimes we need that helping hand that’s going to pull us and show us did there is the way out of the darkness. We need not fear the hand that will pull us out of the darkness because if we fear it, how will we ever see the light again? No matter what disgusting thing might be going on in the world. We all need to continue to look towards the brightest light in front of us so we have a reason to continue to fight and build a better future. No matter what disgusting thing might be going on in the world. We all need to continue to look towards the brightest light in front of us so we can continue fighting and building a better future for ourselves.
I was unsure if I would speak on this subject that’s going on on social media with Erica, Mena, and Spice from Love and Hip-hop. I am a woman of Hispanic descent because both of my parents are Dominican. I might not be a woman of dark skin, but I consider myself a woman of color because of my Hispanic descent.
My Hispanic descent does not give me the right to call another woman of color a monkey. People of color have struggled for so many years to be looked at more than just the color of their skin, so why are we regressing and going back to making people of color feel less than dirt just because of their skin? To make people of color feel less than dirt just because of the color of their skin.
As a united nation, I thought we would’ve learned something with all the lives we have lost throughout racism in the last few years. We would’ve learned how to respect one another and how to respect one another’s backgrounds because no matter what color we are, no matter where we come from, what the one nation we’re still part of melting racism that we would’ve learned how to respect one another and how to respect one another’s backgrounds, because no matter what color we are or what part of the world we come from we are apart of an enormous melt pot that makes up this beautiful country we live in.
I understand we should not take what we see on TV as a role because it’s just reality TV. It’s disgusting to see two grown women with large social media platforms disrespect each other and question each other’s parenting skills no matter how we decide to expose the cells, whether, on social media or other platforms, we are considered role models, so we have to be mindful most of all teach our kids that racism is not fantastic, everyone is human so we should be treated as it looked as human beings, not as monkeys.
Use and define the word “race.” Most Dominican Americans are aware that the majority of Dominicans are of both European and African ancestry. Still, they do not define their race in terms of Old World (Europe/Africa) origins but rather in terms of much more recent linguistic/cultural/national origins in the New World.
When I decided to blog, I was leaving myself open to people’s opinions and criticism regarding the things I decided to share on my blog. I also understand that when I decide to share where exactly I am, people will only sometimes be friendly or understanding. Still, the thing about me is that I’m not looking for anyone’s sympathy or anyone to agree with my feelings and my thoughts. My blog is where I can be vulnerable and share who I am and where this life journey has taken me for many years. I would always let someone’s opinions, feelings, and negativities scare me away from sharing myself, but now I don’t have to care. I’m 42 years old. Correction: I’m going to be 42 years old, so I no longer have to have a filter about what anyone else has to say about what I post or don’t post. Being a blogger and being able to share parts of my life is a fantastic thing because I hope that by putting pieces of my life into my blog, I’m helping someone because I know I’m helping myself every single time I can sit with a piece of paper in my hand, and a pen, loving hand, and open my heart out is a fantastic process for me and helps me look at myself and try to understand myself a little bit better every day I’m not perfect. Still, I’m not trying to be, and I don’t want to be perfect. My imperfections are things that make me. For a long time, I would allow people in certain things in my life to run me away from the things I love the most in writing. I can’t see myself doing or wanting to do anything else but writing. I don’t write any ability; I find completion when I can put myself out there and be vulnerable, something that I’ve always struggled with because I’ve never believed that people have wanted to listen to what I have to say. The world will always have an opinion and criticize every little word and sentence because of their ability to break me.
Almost 42 means no filter, and no shame in my game means sharing no matter what others might think or feel, not alone fear to take over what I love the most, and that is putting word to paper.
GIRL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO YOURSELF? MY RESPONSE IS SIMPLY WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU I’M IN LOVE WITH HIM. YOU INDEED LOVE, AND NO ONE IS TELLING YOU NOT BECAUSE AS LONG AS YOU HAVE A HEARTBEAT LOVE WILL BE POURING OUT FOR HIM. I HATE THAT, BUT GIRL, THAT IS YOUR TRUTH AND ANOTHER TRUTH THAT IS CONSTANTLY HE COULD BE YOUR PERSON BUT THAT DOES HE NEEDS TO BE YOURS. GIRL, THE BLAME HAS TO STOP YOU GOING TO BE 42 YEARS OLD BEFORE YOU KNOW IT. TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS. NO ONE PUSHED YOU TO DO ANYTHING YOU DIDN’T WANT TO DO. ALL THE SHIT YOU THROWOUT IS BECAUSE YOU WANT TOO. THAT’S WHY HE DOES NOT BELIEVE IN THE PERSON YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHOW HIM. YOU PRAY FOR THE RECONNECTION BETWEEN HIM AND YOU FOR SUCH A LONG TIME AND FOR GOD TO BE AS GREAT AS HE IS GOD ANSWERED YOUR PRAYER FOR YOU. GIRL, THIS WAS YOUR TIME; SHINE AND SHOW HIM THAT YOU HAVE BEEN THE WOMAN THAT HE BEEN MISSING FOR SUCH A LONG TIME. GIRL, YOU PRAYED HARDER THAN ANYONE I KNOW, AND I SERIOUSLY HAD HOPE. THAT’S WHY I CAN’T WRAP MY HEAD AROUND HOW YOU COULD FUCK UP SOMETHING YOU WANTED MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. IT’S OKAY TO LOVE HIM FROM AFAR. GIRL LET HIM GO AND STOP BLAMING FOR YOUR IMMATURE. GIRL, YOU MIGHT NEVER KNOW TO CLOSE THAT CHAPTER OF HIM. WALK AWAY AND FIND YOUR STRENGTH.
I am trapped in a doorway I have tried to close for many years.
It’s been unhealthy for my heart and soul just because I have poured myself and what I don’t into the impossible.
The part of who I am is I don’t back down from a challenge because, from the first moment I could take my first breath, I knew I was born to be a fighter.
Regarding matters of the heart, I’m a total fuckup because my heart has blinders that part of me is not ready to lift and have the truth slapped in the face.
The process of rebuilding is having the truth slapping me in the face but not all at once, but it is not giving me a choice or how much of it gets in my front.
I guess the moral of my story is simple and that is must put on my big girl panties and challenge myself by facing my fuck up.
Being a father is a tall drink of water that most men are not ready for. I believe the boys have the notion that as long as they can release sperm, that makes them a man because they have created another human being. Boys can always release sperm, but that does not make the men.
What makes men a is when they can own their responsibilities and become teachers and role models to those they help create.
It might not be easy for those who have never had a role model to follow so that they may do the right thing for their offspring.
But that’s not an excuse not to try to be something you never had.
I want to take this part of my blog and give credit to those amazing men who take a chance on fatherhood even when they are clueless about what they should do with this little human being god has placed in their lives.
Parenting is not an easy job for anyone, but what makes a fantastic father figure is a man who chooses not to take the easy out when things become too complicated.
I am trapped in a doorway I have tried to close for many years.
It’s been unhealthy for my heart and soul just because I have poured myself and what I don’t into the impossible.
The part of who I am is I don’t back down from a challenge because, from the first moment I could take my first breath, I knew I was born to be a fighter.
Regarding matters of the heart, I’m a total fuckup because my heart has blinders that part of me is not ready to lift and have the truth slapped in the face.
The process of rebuilding is having the truth slapping me in the face but not all at once, but it is not giving me a choice or how much of it gets in my front.
I guess the moral of my story is simple and that is must put on my big girl panties and challenge myself by facing my fuck up.
FIVE YEARS HAVE GONE AND COME FASTER THAN I CAN WRAP MY HEAD AROUND THE PHONE CALL I RECEIVED TO LET ME KNOW THAT SHE WAS NOT A PART OF THE PHYSICAL WORLD.
SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN FIVE YEARS PAPER IS THE WAY I LOVE TO COMMUNICATE, BUT MY CHOICE ON HOW I WOULD COMMUNICATE WITH HER; I RATHER HAVE HER IN PERSON SO I MAY SEE HER SHOCKED FACE WHEN I UPDATE HER ON MY CRAZY LIFE.
I MISS YOU EVERY DAY.
I LOVE YOU.
AS CRAZY AS IT MAY SOUND, YOU STILL OWE A PHONE CALL & I’LL WAIT AS LONG AS I HAVE TO BECAUSE YOU ARE AN AMAZING HUMAN BEING ALL AROUND.
Another black 16-year-old young man was shot. When will we give our young youth a chance to have a future, no matter their color? When do we need to stop hating and start loving each other? It’s a shame that going to the wrong door and trying to pick up your young siblings can end your life just because someone felt that young man did not deserve to have a future. The color of your skin should not be a representation of who you are as a human. The main thing that should represent who we are as human begins is how we can change the world one step at a time so we don’t continue to bury another black young man. Don’t look at my skin. Look at me as a person.
Maybe I am a sensitive bitch when I know I shouldn’t be because I should be used to it, but no one in the world should be treated like it on the wall. But I am a sensitive bitch because I get tired of hearing when you need a favor; I do it for you. I’m sick of replying to that as if I could do it myself, I would do it myself, and no one would ever have to do another favor in my entire motherfucking life. If I had more mobility, I would not take half of the shit that the world takes for granted, like going to the bathroom by myself, showering, and coming and going as I please, even though I do it with six wheels under my ass, regardless of my limitations. I could never complain about helping someone with fewer abilities than myself. I always think about what if the tables turn on me and I’m the one that needs the help, and I didn’t do anything to help others well; I could help the others. I was busy helping myself instead of trying to help or instill positivity into others by showing them that giving back is very important no matter how little over much you give back. It’s to return from unselfishness because we never know when things might change. essential
Don’t get me wrong; I am that bitch that’s physically challenged but will challenge anyone in the world to live the most fulfilling life despite all my limitations. Despite the many times I’ve had to hear the word in on over and over and over again in my life.
Children are true blessings that can change the world. Children have the best chance to teach people about love kinds accept who they are as people. But, unfortunately, all children want to feel like they belong somewhere. It’s a shame that some people don’t or could not never imagine what strength it takes to bring another life into the world. It’s easier to take an innocent child’s life away than give those children a chance to live better than we did. We keep robbing innocent children in every single school shooting. Why does our future have to pay for someone carry-in their hearts because they don’t have anyone to show them love and how to be kind to one another?
It’s heartbreaking that our children can’t even be in a private Christian church school to protect them from harm’s way. But, I also understand God has nothing to do with the adverse action that the female took upon herself when she opened fire. So, I can’t help but question my faith in God because we are talking about innocent children that deserve to live and have an unbroken relationship with God.
Birthdays are a celebration of life and the person accomplishes, whether here or not. Birth is a true gift from god that no one should take for granted because we feel like we can and should. It’s so difficult for me to live in the moment sometimes because my brain is always ready to move on to the next thing instead of enjoying the little things in front of us. No one has tomorrow, so I celebrate the life you were and still have, even though you are not physically here. The world assumes just because time has gone by, it hurts a little less, but that is so far from the truth that all I choose to do is laugh. It hurts more now than the first birthday I celebrated without your face in mine. There are so many things that push me through a day like today, and though things are, no one else could say they had you the way I did or knew something like what made you happy or sad. Besides celebrating life, I miss those quiet moments when I choose not to make the world apart. I miss you Love You Keep Celebrating and keep being my #1 Angel. I will keep doing my part and hold you down as I have been.
I need to get something off my chest, and it’s essential. We always talk about women’s empowerment, but it’s so easy to break down a woman over any little thing, such as body shaming someone because they don’t fit someone’s stereotype is difficult to believe in women’s empowerment when you have celebrities and Women who choose to break down other women in the same industry as themselves to make themselves look good, or feel good about themselves.
If you’re going to try to break anyone down for any reason, you should turn the mirror on yourself and break yourself apart and see if you genuinely like who you are, as you’re hurting yourself apart.
You would probably figure out that you don’t like yourself because if you did, you would not have the time or the energy to break down another woman. Especially nowadays in 2023.
It’s already challenging for women to make a name for themselves, let alone stand with other women who feel they have the power to break others down. So why break another woman just because you’re hurt as a woman?
As I said, if you can’t break yourself down as a woman to see your flaws, another female has no right to breakdown down that female and expose her flaws.
As women, we get a lot of slack for being called petty and just straight-up bitches, instead of trying to uplift who we are as women and show the world that we deserve a spot in this world, not because we’re petty bitches. Still, we’re strong and stand up for something, which is what women’s empowerment is supposed to be about.
Don’t get me wrong, I won’t say that I don’t enjoy celebrity lives because that’s what I follow on my social media apps, and that’s what I report on. However, I hate when the same women who choose to break down other women speak on woman empowerment.
Instead of doing the truth of women’s empowerment, they instead take the lowest of women’s empowerment and prove to the world that women cannot get along or have the ability to uplift each other without being jealous.
I also understand that being 41, I shouldn’t look into a celebrities life and have them show me what women’s empowerment is being 41 and disabled. But I know what women’s empowerment is, and that’s not putting another woman down but trying to uplift, teach, and be there for one another, whether you like the person or not.
Just be there, and as women, we need to stop playing like we’re still in high school and realize that every single woman is different from each other, and we find ourselves in different stages in our lives. That at every single step that you might be at or I might be at, but that doesn’t mean that we have the right to put anyone down for whatever reason; uplifting is the key, and if no one understands, there’s no truth to woman’s empowerment.
Every day should be a woman’s day. Women are the true meaning of strength, perseverance, and resilience. But unfortunately, for many years, women were meant not to be seen and never heard. We were allowed to have opinions or thoughts about anything, but today’s women, it’s all about independence being fierce, being your boss, and writing your own rules. Women are no longer just lying down and caring for it for what it is. They’re making things happen for themselves; most importantly, we finally found voices. We have no fear of speaking up for ourselves and making our presence is known anywhere we go, and we can do and be anything we want without a man by our side. Women are powerful. Women are intelligent. Women are sexy. Women on nurtures. Women or mothers. Women or wives, but most importantly, we on our own abilities to be independent women.
March is the month of Cerebral palsy, and for those who don’t know what that means, I don’t look at cerebral palsy as a disability but as an ability to do things the world said I would not be able to do.
Cerebral palsy occurs during birth, and that’s what we do during our difficult entry into the world. I say ours because I share a womb with my fantastic twin brother. We were born at seven months, weighing in at two pounds one ounce each, with no clue that we were coming in with any struggles at the time of our birth. We had four older siblings in a country where health care was impossible for everyone. Our diagnosis six months after our birth shocked our family because my mom was constantly under high-risk care until our birth date. As a mother, you could never imagine being wrong with your babies after experiencing four normal home births. The most shocking thing was that it was two instead of one. God knows why he chose our amazing mother to face such a challenge with special needs children. The biggest challenge I struggle with being disabled is not being treated like a human because of my disability. We should look at each other’s abilities before anyone’s physical challenges.
The only time the world can hear us is when we realize that our voices are the most vital tool we can have as humans. Speakout. SpeakUp Voice matter because we matter no matter what the world thinks of us.
I need a voice of reason. I’m desperately crying out for one right now. Whoever chooses to be my voice of reason has to be able to tell me what the fuck I’m doing so wrong and what is the right thing for me to do for myself so I no longer feel like I’m drowning. I’m drowning, and what is funny is just when I feel like I should find a final way to keep my head above water, so I no longer feel like I’m drowning; I keep making unreasonable mistakes so the water may pull me down. As much as I want to see above water, I can’t, or something bigger than me won’t allow seeing above water.
I need to stop wishing and start doing what I need to do to make those essential changes in my life.
Throughout my life, I have come to terms with the fact that I could not or should not try to change someone just because I would love for them to fit a mold that I probably can’t do myself.
When anyone wants, change begins from the inside out, we could always try to look beautiful on the outside, but if we don’t work on our insides, the outside will not matter.
The key to practicing the chances among us is taking ownership of the things we struggle with.
Valentine’s day is considered a special day because that is the day that you spend with someone extraordinary. So why should we wait for such a day as Valentine’s Day to tell that special someone or anyone in general that we love them and admire them? Time is minimal for all of us. So we should not waste our time on things we cannot control. What we should be doing is telling those around us how much we love them every single day, no matter what day it is.
Valentine’s day is every day, whether you have a significant other or love yourself.
There is so much bullshit going on in the world beyond my heart. But I seriously can not help and feel like I’m losing my fucking mind because there is no off switch to my brain or way to erase who and what he was in my life. If I dare to erase that part of my life, even though it’s painful for me because my heart still loves very blindly, this type has taught me that I’m hell-strong and I was blessed to find my person and enjoy moments that no matter who might be crazy enough to step up and do better. It won’t happen. I firmly believe in people having one chance to find their person. I found my person from the moment we locked eyes. We had terrific moments. Even though we shared a wonderful moment, that wasn’t enough for me to ask for what I thought was best for the person I was back then because, back then, I refused to rock the boat. After rocking the boat the way I did, I came to terms with the fact the person I chose to let go of my person. It was too late to get back to the person in life. What made this person my person was: He studied me and knew who I was before I could figure out who I was for myself. Our love was one of a kind in our book because everything happened so quickly, and the best part about it was that everything we were was like a great puzzle piece.
I don’t want to be stupid. For you to be successful, I have to have the strength to the door of feeling unwanted and under deserved just because my heart wants what it wants. My heart is clueless about the fact that no matter what the heart wants, it might not be what it needs. I might wish to him like a blood vessel that runs throughout my body for me to stay alive. The body has a way of breaking down, so we either get rid of what’s toxic or find different ways for the body to work without realizing something is missing.
Stupid, in love Hold on to a heart that doesn’t belong to me. They wondered why I couldn’t wash off the feelings that keep my heart alive, like when has to wash the dirt out of their hair.
Stupid in love and desperate for a heart transplant, I no longer feel I need someone who does not love me the way I deserve.
I know my following few lines will sound like a total contradiction because I’m asking for a transplant so I can stop loving, but in all honesty, I don’t regret it. Loving my person the way I love that person, I know that as long as I continue on this earth, I probably will never experience this type of love again, and I’m very blessed to have shared it with him. I regret that it took me this long to realize what love was and that he was my person.
Being someone’s person is knowing everything about that person. It is loving that person unconditionally and understanding that everything will be smooth sailing.
Being someone’s person is known as the good, the bad, and everything. The most important thing about being someone’s person knows that that person will make you the first and only priority part of being someone’s priority is being a friend to that person.
It’s okay to break, especially when we can find the strength to put ourselves together. Finding those pieces to rebuild who we are and a better version of who we would love to be.
If we break, we can show ourselves that we are humans and that our vulnerability shows us that we are not supposed to be statues that don’t fall apart. Falling apart is rule number one of life and living.
If l have time to bitch about what I no longer want to be for others.
I should be able to use the same time to change those things that make me look fragile and use me at my disposal because it’s no secret that I enjoy making others happy and putting my happiness on the back burner.
I don’t think about my happiness because I believe joy will find me.
Anything that has the strength to find me is meant for me to have because it went through the trouble of finding me.
To stop loving him, I need to use my heartlessness and allow my mind to take over.
Even with all the mind power we Retain as humans, I can’t stop thinking about him and how much I could make things different between him and me by making a simple wish. Life is more complex, though.
You can’t make a wish, and you get what you want. As people, sometimes we don’t get what we want. We get what we need, and as much as I might wish to him, he might be the last thing I need.
How am I creative? My creativity comes through paper and pen because that’s my way of being authentic with myself and everyone else who reads my blog or sees my YouTube videos.
The funny thing is that being creative means being naked with the truth in my imperfections; I sometimes struggle to show my weaknesses because I’m scared of judgment.
Sometimes being my authentic self shows the world my pain in the roller coaster that my life has become. I am not the type of person that likes to show pain. I am someone who loves to pass on positivity, nothing negative.
My life has been a complete roller coaster for the last few months. I’ve had a whole bunch of emotions throughout me, but I’m dealing with my feelings day by day, night by night. Those things I find challenging to handle with myself, I will have the faith to leave them in God’s hand. I know whatever I’m going through, it is one of God’s many lessons or tests of strength to see how much I can handle before a break or a breakthrough comes my way. Whatever it is, I know God will see me through it.
Social media is not accurate social media has become like a smoke and mirror of things.
The people enjoy watching. As an influencer or whatever people want to see me, I don’t put my entire life on social media because I know social media is not accurate.
I understand that social media can be cruel and very mean. If you don’t have tough skin, many people would not be able to handle being influencers or bloggers because society chooses to judge us on what we post on our social media platforms.
But, if you are constantly posting on social media that you’re happy, in love, or whatever the case may be, that’s what people will believe in because that is what we have chosen the camera to caption.
One principle that society forgets or refuses to acknowledge is that just because someone is a caption with a smile does not mean happiness. Social media is a few minutes away from reality.
It’s challenging to disconnect from social media because the media has become a large work market for everyone around us too. Even I can admit that I need to learn to disconnect and live in the moment. Not every moment needs to be captioned or posted on social media because important moments lose value.
Stephen Boss, a charismatic hip-hop dancer and television personality known as tWitch who rose to fame on the reality show “So You Think You Can Dance” before becoming a regular on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” died on Tuesday in a motel room in Los Angeles. He was 40.
The death was ruled a suicide by the Los Angeles County medical examiner’s office.
Mr. Boss joined “So You Think You Can Dance” in 2008 as a 25-year-old with a talent for popping — a dance form associated with hip-hop that involves isolating parts of the body with a staccato rhythm — and an ability to make the judges burst into laughter with his facial expressions and theatrics.
He soon found himself dancing unfamiliar styles like the waltz and the tango on national television, and he finished the show’s fourth season as runner-up. Later in the series, Mr. Boss performed a hip-hop duet with Ellen DeGeneres — featuring him as a therapist in a sweater vest and her as his client — that would shape the rest of his career.
As a bubbly presence on TV who liked to wear a fedora and often broke into dance, Mr. Boss spent nearly a decade with “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” as D.J., guest host and, eventually, an executive producer. “I count on him to look over at and make silly jokes,” Ms. DeGeneres said in an episode this year, the show’s last. “He’s my pal; he’s my sidekick.”
In 2000, Boss graduated from Lee High School in Montgomery, Alabama, and studied dance performance at Southern Union State Community College in Wadley, Alabama, and Chapman University.
Boss first auditioned in 2007 for Season 3 of the show and appeared on the program. Unfortunately, twitch was not selected to be in the Top 20. He returned to audition again in Season 4 in 2008; he was chosen to compete in the Top 20 and was the runner-up after fellow hip-hop dancer Joshua Allen who won. During Season 4, he danced with Katee Shean to a Contemporary piece choreographed by Mia Michaels.
The dance was nominated for an Emmy for Choreography in the 61st Primetime Emmy Awards.
In season 5, Boss again appeared on So You Think You Can Dance with fellow season 4 contestant Katee Shean to perform their Emmy-nominated piece “Mercy,” choreographed by Mia Michaels. He was one of the 11 “All-Stars” for season 7. Twitch often was an All-Star in Seasons 7, 8, and 9 of So You Think You Can Dance, performing memorable routines, including the hip hop number “Outta Your Mind” with ballet dancer Alex Wong, which comedian Ellen DeGeneres reprised in Season 7’s finale. He was the team captain for “Team Street” in Season 12 of So You Think You Can Dance. He was announced as a permanent judge for the seventeenth season in 2022. He had an apparel line called Twitch Clothing.
I have to share my husband with the heaviest of hearts. Unfortunately, Stephen has left us,” Boss’ wife, Allison Holker Boss, 34, confirms to PEOPLE. “Stephen lit up every room he stepped into. He valued family, friends, and community above all else, and leading with love and the light was everything to him. He was the backbone of our family, the best husband and father, and an inspiration to his fans.
His final Instagram post on Monday showed him and Holker dancing in front of a Christmas tree and celebrating the holidays. Boss is survived by his wife, Allison, and children Zaia, 3, Maddox, 6, and Weslie, 14.
I genuinely hate writing about stories of people who lost their own life at their own hands because it seems more accessible than asking for help.
I struggle with it myself, asking for help because I depend on my daily personal care, and I find it humiliating to admit that I would need mental help.
But unfortunately, the world has never made it easy for people to get the service they deserve; most people believe that asking for it is a sign of weakness, but in reality, people should try and look at it as a sign of strength.
Having the strength to realize when help is needed should be considered positive, which means we choose ourselves and those who love us. In a statement on Wednesday, Ms. DeGeneres said she was “heartbroken” over the death, calling Mr. Boss “pure love and light.
Stephen Laurel Boss was born on Sept. 29, 1982, in Montgomery, Ala., to Connie Boss Alexander and Sandford Rose. He started dancing as a teenager and earned the nickname tWitch because he could not stop moving in school or church. People saw his joy in making TikTok dance with his lovely wife.
Dancing brought him joy and peace, but that was not enough to complete what probably made him feel alone. We can look happy and try to feel the happiness within ourselves, but no one, not even DJ twitch, knows how to handle the pressure of his life when the cameras are off.
On another birthday without her, people would think I would be over it & I would see her birthday as another day.
She has been gone four years, and I still feel unsettled with her not being here celebrating her birthday.
I miss that I can’t pick up the phone & give her all my well wishes or tell her that I’ll see her soon.
I will always be grateful for her and the fantastic friendship we were blessed to have.
I miss you more than words can say, but I wanted to believe you had a bigger purpose with our heavenly father.
As much as I would like to know what those purposes are for our heavenly father to take you from us, I have come to terms with the fact that I will never understand those reasons because I want to be selfish and have you with me and everyone else who loves you.
Dragging myself so I can gather myself so can become whole again.
Feeling whole again is important because that means I can sit in my shit and forgive myself for those mistakes that have helped me become the person I am today.
Who I am is working on progress which is not scared to keep learning so that I may be better than yesterday.
I lost myself while trying to please everyone in my life or around my life.
The funny thing is that while I try to find myself again, I am losing the people I have spent years trying to please.
I’d rather have me thanpeople constantly waiting for me to please them instead of pleasing who I’m trying to become, who is grateful to be with herself.
When you have a group of men or women that we can call friends, we should our most brutal hold on to those friendships.
People nowadays need to learn how to maintain healthy and genuine friendships with each other.
The saddest thing about any friendship with people is that we must look at those people we probably would have never looked at with a third eye now.
Simply because we never know what our friends are ever. We call someone who has been a part of our lives 20 years our friend, but does that mean that person is my friend?
Friendships are about learning about one neither.
Friendships are supposed to be about supporting one another and having each further back through thick & thin.
No friendship is perfect. If I call you my friend, I should never question if I can you with my life.
I constantly complain about how tired I’m of someone’s afterthoughts. I just came to a realization, and the first thing that slapped me in the face was that I needed to stop playing the blame and own my shit. The shit I need to sit in; I become an afterthought to others because I have been an afterthought to people, in general, is a vital lesson. The lesson is one day could learn how to put myself first without the guilt I feel whenever I try to put myself first. Of course, what can I accept from other people if I am an afterthought to myself? I am no longer going to be an afterthought to myself.
I am a working progress. I am enough. I am putting all the love I would pour into others just because I matter. I matter because I’m human, and I can acknowledge the best version is not being perfect but being myself, including my flaws.
Home is comfy.` Home is safety. Home is love. Home understands that no matter how badly I could mess up, those arms will welcome me back and let me know everything will be okay. Home has never been perfect; home is what I have made it to be, and the main thing I have completed my home, home to be is something unstable because I love to push my boundaries. Still, even I can say I have gone too far with my limits; that’s why finding a place in what I call home is challenging. Places, people, and things have limitations, and we can push until we can’t push anymore, but there is no grant that we won’t be left alone because we took it upon ourselves to go overboard.
The moral of my story is I pushed until I could not push anymore, and now that I want to find my place at home, I don’t have one. Too much damage has been done, so the home I once knew of love is no longer love but a lot of what-ifs.
If we don’t want to lose what home is, we have to understand what home is and what home brings to our souls.
Cancer does not have a specific race it Chooses to attack.
Cancer is not Forgiving of anyone’s age.
Cancer will never understand the true meaning of having a life of needs and wants.
Cancer destroys the body, but I feel it would never destroy someone’s spirit because that’s how we become warriors. Cancer is unforgivable.
Cancer is unforgivable when it decides to come and take you from your loved ones without a second thought; how can anyone ask me to forgive cancer for taking you from me without giving me a chance to say goodbye?
THE OLD SAYING HAS ALWAYS BEEN IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO DO ANYTHING WE WANT TO DO IN LIFE AS LONG AS WE HAVE THE DRIVE TO SEE IT THROUGH.
WHAT I’M ASKING IS, DOES THE SAME RULE APPLY WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE?
I’m STRONG, BELIEVE IN WRITING MY OWN RULES WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE WHAT MIGHT WORK FOR ME AND MY PERSON MIGHT NOT WORK FOR OTHERS.
NOT TWO PEOPLE ARE THE SAME, SO NOTHING IN LIFE SHOULD BE APPROACHED THE SAME WAY FOR THOSE TWO PEOPLE.
IF WE CAN SET OUR OWN RULES, WE CAN LEARN SO MUCH ABOUT OURSELVES AS INDIVIDUALS, AND IT CAN HELP US FIGURE OUT WHO WE ARE AS A COUPLE.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, IT WILL HELP US FIGURE OUT WHAT WE WANT FROM EACH OTHER AS A COUPLE.
As women, we are taught to be givers. Teachers of life. As women, we have the most satisfying job: the ability to mold those little lives that will one day change the world we live in today. We love unconditionally, no questions asked. We are guides without life understanding that passing judgment on who they are and how they got where they are today. As women are everything to everyone, we fall at the back of the line when it comes to loving ourselves and self-caring for ourselves. It seems selfish when we need to put ourselves first. The most important is to acknowledge that it’s okay to be selfish and put ourselves first because if we don’t, how are we ever going to learn who we are and our true motivation besides being forgotten because we are everything to the world and not ourselves? We should never forget who we are as women because we are strong and independent.
A day full of anticipation. Nervous. Excitement but confusion because we need to think of anyone or anything else but the moment we shared. They might’ve been selfish on both parts, but it was something that needed to happen because we both had to become one, at least for that moment in time. The most devastating part for me was knowing and understanding that it was just a moment in time that we may not share again because of circumstances and in life. The most amazing part for me was he was always able to see me beyond the chair and make me feel like that woman that has nothing wrong with her beyond what the world tries to make her feel like about herself.
His actions speak louder than any words his mouth could ever talk to her. His actions mean more to her than anything else because, with his actions, the world doesn’t seem like such a horrible place.
I can’t be scared of who I am. I am not a superwoman, even though I love playing someone who can and should be able to do it all. Women have been seen as weak beings that should be seen and not heard for centuries. It’s taken me 41 years to discover that my voice matter. I’m not going to lie and say that I still struggle with people listening to me and also realizing that I should not kill myself to be everything to everyone else in my life if I won’t be everything else to the person I am.
My wheelchair is a part of my everyday life. But, unfortunately, it isn’t my whole life.
First and foremost, I am a woman, and sadly, the world won’t see that first.
I’m not going to apologize for my disability ever. But, unfortunately, my disability will be a big red stop sign for some people to get to know my abilities and my Non-abilities just because it is easier than trying to get past that sign.
I’m not going to lie and be like I’ve never been down on myself because of the things that I feel I missed out on because I understand that I have physical limitations.
That other might not have, but that same limitation that I have pushed me forward to keep fighting and to keep needing and desiring and wanting, just like Any woman in the world.
Everything this seems impossible is possible as long as this changes and growth. Nothing in life is impossible, but if we make an unbelievable, we’ll never see the possibility we want and what we need from ourselves and everyone else around us. We are the only ones that turn the impossibilities into two possibilities of happiness: success and acceptance.
She is insignificant. She is worthless. She has no value in my life. No matter what she tries, she will always fail simply because she is a failure. He might be her happiness, but she is not his. Those are wounds that bleed every time she leaves herself vulnerable to him, understanding that she does not mean anything to him and never will.
Please my mind Please my soul Please my heart And then you can please my body with the connection like no other of two souls becoming one. A link that no man or woman is strong enough to break because it’s a connection you and I only share. No one will ever know or understand our inside jokes, And most importantly, no one will know your deepest secret.
Suppose I ever lose you for whatever reason, whether it’s my fault or just life happening.
In that case, I’ll be losing my dear diary, the one that holds me and doesn’t let go, the one who understands without judgment, the one that’s not afraid to tell me the truth when I need to hear it and even then when I don’t need to listen to it as well.
So thank you for giving me time to discover who I am and what I want to be as long as I continue on this earth with you, and as I continue on this earth with you, all I know is I want to continue being a better me. Ms. Butterfly Genesis
Words only become powerful when we, as people, give them.
As people, we have to know that we are the ones that decide how much power we give each word that we speak into existence.
We also determine if we will provide these words with positive or negative emotions and why we must think before we go off like a crazy person with no type of brain cell.
Throughout my life, words have had many ways to hurt because I have let others’ opinions hold me down.
In the same way, people have hurt me with hurtful words. I have hurt many people with unthoughtful words and unwanted actions that follow my words. I have to understand that no amount of apologizing I might bring myself to do will erase the effects of the words I use to break them down to make myself feel better.
Sometimes we say hurtful things so others may feel our pain. In reality, we need to stop hurting others because we have hurt ourselves to stop the circle of pain.
I need my best friend because I am about to fall apart.
I want my best friend to catch me and drag me out of myself.
My best friend told me they would not let go no matter what life placed in our lives, So now I am sitting here unsure of myself.
The only thing I am sure of is missing my best friend like no other.
I knew the last time I heard their voice, it would probably be final. It was heartbreaking. I felt my heart shatter because I had this overwhelming feeling of disappointment in their voice as I said bye.
Every part of me knew I was doing wrong, but I also had a primary urge to say bye not only because of where I was in life but because I also needed to close that unfinished chapter we had.
We should never force pieces to fall into place. Pieces should fall into place naturally without someone forcing it. If we try to force pieces together, we tend to watch things fall apart faster. Knowing where and how to grab those pieces falling apart becomes challenging. As those pieces fall apart, we have to sit within ourselves to figure out how to piece those pieces together when we lack feeling complete.
Damn, the worst thing anyone can hear is I must prepare myself to deal with her. So I want to ask, what does that mean you must prepare yourself to deal with her?
I already feel like I’m a burden to everyone around me. So when I hear someone say, I must prepare to deal with it. What the fuck is that all about. We live in a world where we don’t have to deal with people we don’t want to. We choose to deal with people we don’t want to deal with because either we don’t think highly of ourselves, or we just genuinely can put our differences aside for moments and see them as humans.
I’m over the top. I require more than most people and what I mean when I say I need more than most people is that their hands become minds their legs become mine as well. My body works differently, just like every other body works differently than mine. I sit in the seat that I sit in with pride. It might not seem like it all the time. Still, I’m very proud of sitting in the seat that I sit in every day because people’s ignorance pushes me to continue to do my very best and continue to wish those who see me as something they have to prepare for nothing but the best in their lives.
Pride week is the celebration of equality, no judgment, and having the freedom to love whoever you desire to love.
Pride is about love, acceptance of who you are, and not being ashamed of who you choose to love because that’s not what the world expects you to love.
This world is full of ignorance, no matter how much time goes by and how much fighting we do for quality. We’re not always going to have the ability to change people’s opinions about how we love.
Who we love. and why we love them, but that should give us the strength to be prideful for what we stand for, which is equality and the same respect that everyone else deserves in the world beyond the ignorance of others.
Love has no limit. Love is unconditional. Love has no gender. Love has no color. Love has no boundaries.
Love is love no matter what sex you are or what color you are maybe. Love is about respect. Love is about strength. Love is about teaching. Love is about equality. Love is pride.
Happy Father’s Day to all the fantastic fathers worldwide and those wonderful mothers with no choice but to be both fathers and & mothers”s their children.
Any man can make a baby, but it takes a remarkable man to be your father. Just because you make one doesn’t make you one. You have to be there every day and every night and be what your father probably wasn’t for you for your child.
Father’s Day is funny because I have a Father, but people do not believe me just because of how I choose to express myself about the man that is my father. Not to mention, my mom has been the only person I’ve seen daily for 40 years.
For little girls to believe that no matter what, we’re going to be daddy’s little girls forever might be true for some girls but for me, it’s a different story.
My story is simple my dad was around for a while, then he just disappeared before I could even feel like a daddy’s girl.
I will not discredit him from being my father because that’s what he is, but I was never daddy’s little girl. But, still, I’m not going to blame him either for that because now that I’m older, I understand that you learn from what you see, and if you don’t have a father figure in your own life, how can your father your child if you we’re not fathered yourself.
I can’t be mad at him because I don’t know his upbringing or what he is like as a father figure. But, on the other hand, I am angry because instead of stopping the cycle, so probably starting it with him, he chose to keep the process going by not being a full-time dad and watching his children grow up and love him like all fathers should be loved.
If we can wrong our rights, do it.
If we can say I love you to someone we haven’t said today, let’s do it. No matter how we might feel about that person deserves to know that you love them. Whether they give it back to you is a different story. As long as you do your part and tell them that you love them, that’s all that matters.
No matter what, I love my dad because, without him, I would’ve never been brought into this world, And for that, I honor him.
He probably wasn’t the ideal father I would’ve chosen for myself, but as the world says, you can select the people that will be your family or be a part of it. So overall, he is my dad because he deserves to be acknowledged today and every day. After all, he’s my father.
This means people in my life and those who have not been a part of my life for several years need to realize that I am 40 old with no type of shame in my game.
I chose to blog about parts of the world because I always felt like I had something to say and could inspire people to share pieces of my life with the world.
I am going to be as blunt as possible my blog has become my bread and butter, which means I will not allow anyone to come between my dream come true.
I have waited a long time to be recognized as a freelance writer, and I did not have to open my legs to be blessed with the opportunities God has blessed me.
I”m not that two-year-old girl she met. I understand her eyes. I would be that little girl, but I’m not 40 years old, so there is no need to run to my mama and snitch. How old are we? I am grown. I have gray hair in place I believe I should not have, but I do.
Running to my mama is not cool because I’m a 40-year-old woman who has lived and done things with my life. I will not apologize for living a grown-up life even though the people around me continue to see me as a little girl. When I began my blog, I thought about anyone in particular; all I thought was the fact that I needed an outlet.
I don’t know how people can try and be all in my life and can’t even handle their stuff. For 40 years, I have been begging the world to have a life of my own.
So if ya’ll don’t like what I post on anyone of my social media platforms, jump off and stay off. Come to me before going to my mama because, like it or not, I’m an adult.
As I prepare to put together another gun violence article together, all I can think to myself is how can I keep myself from being completely respectful.
When we Are far from respecting each other and respecting the life God has given us, this particular shooting I’m going to speak about is the shooting that took place in Buffalo.
All I will say is, when will we ever get tired of killing innocent people? I don’t think when people wake up in the morning, they think they would have to think about any day being their last day.
It might be the last day I see or share a special moment with a loved one or family. I’m getting sick and tired of hearing about these stories or reading them myself because I start thinking about what this world has become. This world has become a scary place to live in, and people have become fearful of being around each other.
That’s the only way we can solve issues by killing innocent people that I have nothing to do with anybody’s problem. Anytime I hear about the shooting, people automatically think of mental illness, and I know mental illness is actual.
So I don’t want anyone to get offended by what I’m about to say. But, as people lose loved ones to gun violence, how often should they hear the mental illness? Before, these different states that lack gun control seriously.
Whenever I see losing more of our future and people with their families, I am genuinely sad.
However, I understand that as a nation, we are trying to recover a sense of normal see in our life after the craziness of pandemic news; flashy standards went out the window.
I guess what I am trying to say without playing the blame on the pandemic people; I understand that the pandemic was complex worldwide and many of us decided on different ways to handle it. But, as I said in previous lines, this is not about a pandemic.
If I give my opinion, I believe that the world has become bored with itself; in turn, those same people have become less intolerant of others which means we keep losing innocent lives.
I understand that it’s difficult to ask for help, but it’s even more challenging when we are clueless about what to look for regarding our mental health.
My heart is weighty simply because, as women, we take our abilities to have children for granted.
The main reason I feel the way I do is Because we have 17-year-old girls that have no business having sex or having children.
What’s even more frustrating is how easy it is for them to bear children and then hurt them like their heartbeat was underneath their hearts.
As a woman in my 40s and physically disabled, it always makes me wonder how a woman or a little girl, I should say, could hurt a human being.
They can’t fight back or never had the chance to fight back for their own lives. Being disabled, I get looked at all the time, which doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is when people or the world say I shouldn’t try to be a mother because I’m physically disabled.
Then you have these teenage girls feel like their invisible to pregnancy couldn’t happen to them because they’re so young and naïve, and it happens to them like magic.
What’s more hurtful is how easy it is for them to hurt a human life that came from a part of them, and they were able to carry them for nine months living inside them as if it was nothing special to feel something with a heartbeat move around inside their body.
I asked the world today how I can have the right question about my motherhood because of my disability and my ability to care for a child that lived inside me for nine months, which I would love because it’s a little human that represents me.
I want more than anything in the world, but nobody questions a 17-year-old girl that has no idea how to wipe her ass. How could she hurt something so innocent that lived inside her for nine months?
Whether it was expected or a surprise, she decided to take it to full-term, so how or why would you hurt a human life they couldn’t fight for themselves. There are plenty of women out there who would do anything to be mothers, and it’s a shame that 17, and 16,15-year-old girls act like it’s nothing to have them and kill them and not even give them a chance to explore the world around them.
Children have a right to live. They deserve to be loved, nurtured, and cared for. They should not feel the burden of us being overwhelmed or not prepared well enough for them.
When deciding to have sex, we must be responsible and understand that having sex brings many consequences more than having babies and STDs. Babies should not be having babies, and if we do decide to have sex remember there are better choices than killing a human life that had no say if they wanted to be a part of this world.
I began my blog because I needed a safe space to express myself and my feelings without judgment. I’ve felt physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted in the last few months. I feel like no matter what I do with my life or don’t do with my life, someone has something to say, and I’m just tired. I’m tired of feeling like I have to explain all my actions so that later on, I don’t need to deal with anyone’s reaction.
Sometimes I feel like being a part of this physical world can be overwhelming because I have others negatively beat me down mentally and emotionally beating me. I have taken every negative thing that people have said to my face or have made me feel about myself to make me a more robust and a better writer.
On a serious note, I’m tired of trying to prove my abilities while the rest of the world refuses my growth as a woman. At this point, I’m like fuck everyone who is not with me and who hasn’t been with me in a long time.
I want to live, but I want to live my own life without having the commentary in the background, making me feel like I have no idea what I’m doing? So what if I don’t know what I’m doing?
Part of living is making mistakes and growing from and learning from them, and becoming a better person. Many people say I’m still the same person I was back then; I’m no different, but I know I’m different because I’m older, and I understand a lot more than I did.
I don’t know, but I still have people wanting to stop my growth, and I wouldn’t say I like that. I have earned the right to live a life I can be proud of despite my disability. Whether the world feels I’ve done enough to get out of a particular situation I’m in or not, that’s their fucking problem, not mine.
I know what I’m trying to do for myself, and no one else should matter or get in my way of accomplishing my goals. I also understand that a billion people can stand in my way, but if I genuinely want to see my dreams come to life, I will make it happen.
I’m mad at myself when I allow people’s commentaries to get under my skin when I know they have no idea what type of life I’m living and what I truly desire with all of my heart. Besides good health and a good spiritual connection with God, I want my independence.
However, I understand that I won’t be fully independent because of my limitations. I deserve to have a life where nobody comments about anything I want to do with my life. I turn around, and someone comments or makes me feel stupid for even attempting to have an everyday life.
I wouldn’t trade my disability for anything in the world because I know my disability has opened many doors for me to do different things and reach people in many different ways.
At the same time, the only thing I would change is more mobility so that I could do things independently. If I had the mobility, I would not have to kiss anyone’s ass to have a decent life. What I’m living it’s like a child’s life because my parent refuses to see me as an adult. After all, I have been a wheelchair user, and no matter what is harmful to me, that part of me will not change.
I will always be that child, but deep down inside, I don’t want to be seen as a child. I’m a grown-ass woman if I wish to lay down with someone or have a good time alone. I should be able to do so without feeling like the world will point its finger at me. I’ve been in a very dark place, and I have to deal with a human that doesn’t walk a mile in my shoes every time.
It makes it that much worse, but I get mad at myself instead of them because why am I going to let them get to me. They don’t know what I go through mentally or physically. I’m the only one who understands it, and the only reason why I don’t give up on life is that I love doing what I do. Blogging has allowed me to share my life with y’all, and I hope I’m inspiring others with my stories.
The exact words encourage people as she uses them on me more often, especially when I feel like there’s no way out. When I know there is a way off, I have to be willing to fight for my way out.
I’ve been trying for the last 40 years to get out so I can run free and not feel like a rope around my neck is holding me back.
I don’t apologize for ranting and raving the way I am because my blog is the safest place for me to let myself be who I am. Who am I? Right now am a very pissed human being because I allowed someone to get under my skin instead of being a bigger and better person.
Another school shooting means we lose a considerable part of our future every time we lose our children to school shootings.
Those people that have mental issues have no idea what it’s like to bring a child into this world full of fear full of uncertainty, and just disbelief at what this world has become. When anyone thinks about bringing children into this world, we don’t think about we’re not going to see our child grow up into adulthood because someone is a sick man is going to go into the school building and take the innocent lives that they just started to live.
The woman or woman is told she’s going to become a mother; she becomes overprotective over the next nine months of her life and the child’s life because you don’t want anything to go wrong.
All you know is that you want a healthy baby, no matter the sex.
As a mother fantastic job is to be a nurturer’s guidance. I love you, and I know many mothers wish they could be with the kids 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, so we don’t miss one moment Of their lives.
But mothers know that that’s not realistic that we do give birth to our children, but they don’t belong to us for the rest of our lives; we have to allow them to fly and explore the world for what it is and will enable them to make their own choices and their own mistakes because that’s part of growth.
The terrifying thing is that nowadays, you want them to get the best education in the world, so you send them to school hoping and praying that they are getting the best education in the world, not assuming that will be the last time you see your child is when you send them to school.
So it’s terrifying to know that nowadays, it’s scary to think about sending your child to school because you never know if you will ever see your child again or if you’ll be able to say I love you and ask them how their day was.
School is supposed to be a place where kids are going to learn, interact with one another, and learn from each other they shouldn’t have to worry about if somebody’s going to come moving in, kill them, and then I’m going to be able to see their mom and dad.
Kids should be kids with no worries, no fear, the most important, just never being loved. I know I’m old, and I’m not denying them, but when I was in school, I was never worried about whether I would return home to see my mom and my other siblings. I knew at 3 o’clock then I would be home with my mom and the rest of my family.
It’s shameful and scary to think about sending your kids off to school and Always having that lingering thought that you might never see your child again because someone lost their mind.
As a parent, you play the blame game with yourself because you’re like, damn, I should’ve kept them at home, but if you keep them at home to keep them safe, you’re stopping them from living, but then again if you send them to school, you don’t know if you’re going to get them back for the catch 22.
Then after playing the blame game with yourself, you go into grief mode. I do not understand why your child? When your child was learning about life.
Now, your kids, all of that is gone because of someone’s stupidity and selfish act against other human lives. That had no when they woke up that morning; that could be the last time they would see their loves.
I know a lot of us to have problems showing emotions or even saying I love you, but if you can say I love you and show your children that you love them while being there for them and being the best parents, you can be in that waiting for something so horrific to happen.
Being a parent is a gift from God that we should not take for granted. Hence, any chance we have to tell our kids how much we love them, how proud of them we are, and how amazing they are, and they can change the world because of their perseverance, let them know every second of every day before it’s too late.
I’m not speaking from a mother’s perspective but a daughter’s perspective; why do mothers only deserve one day to be honored or celebrated.
Mothers deserve more than one day to be kept and shown how much they are loved because to be a mother, women have to learn how to be selfish and put a human life inside of them for nine months first, for now, and forever.
Being a mother to a bit of a human being is a 24-hour job with no vacation time and no sick time, and we have to find a way to squeeze in some self-care time for ourselves after a tiny human comes into the world.
The minute women find out they’re expecting; we learn how to become overprotective even before entering this world.
We want to protect them and make sure they feel loved and wanted even while they grow inside us and make us feel different feelings and take over our bodies, but it’s so rewarding to know that we have a human heartbeat next to ours.
Mothers should be honored every day because a mother is a gift that is never replaced no matter. But unfortunately, my mother and I have a relationship out of the movies; we don’t know if we are coming. So, we have to fix our shit because she needs to be proud of whom she raised as a person.
The first healthy relationship daughters must establish is with their fathers. Unfortunately, many fathers don’t understand the impact they create once they have daughters.
I firmly believe that if we had fewer fatherless daughters, we would know and understand the standards of a real man and what love should look like and feel like because, once again, the first men we love as daughters are our fathers.
Our fathers set the standards for the type of man we end up with and who we decide could be our future. As little girls, we dream of a man just like our father. So all the men in the world, including my father, let’s stop making our daughter fatherless.
The heartbeat inside me made me realize you were more accurate than anything else.
You had no name, but I knew you were real because your heartbeat was right underneath mine.
If I could be honest, I was freaked out but also excited. I could not wait any longer to meet you and see who you would take after your dad or me.
As this unknown person keeps taking over my body, I can’t help but think about why I was so lucky that this person chose me to be a mother and nurtured them with all the love in my heart.
Many people wait for years or never get the opportunity to feel another human life coming out of their bodies.
The fact that God has blessed me with an opportunity to have someone who looks like me is something I will be grateful for.
I stab myself every day with the reminder of not having you a part of my life.
What I saw as a simple mistake was life-changing for all of us because as I sit here today, I always go back and what if in every situation I go through every day.
There is one thing I am sure of the life-changing situation that would’ve never happened; we would’ve lived happily ever after.
Of course not perfect to me because every road is rocky, but even if it had been rocky, we would’ve been solid because we would have been fighting for ourselves.
Anytime I think about the last time you and I spoke anytime, I think about the last time you and I said, Your voice becomes haunting to me because I had no idea that that would be the last time I would ever hear your voice, your laughter.
Like the rest of the world, I usually think things we have so much time to do or say how we truly feel about someone until we don’t have that time.
I thought we had more time to talk to me around each other I have plain old fun, but I was surprised that you were cheated out of seeing your boy’s become men.
Even though I shouldn’t be mad with God, I should be thanking him for allowing me to have met you and being grateful to have gotten the chance to have what I never thought would be our last girl talk.
It’s been unbearable to deal with the pain or wrap my head around the fact that you’re not here, and it’s been years already. You would think that I would have a better way of coping with it already, but in reality, I don’t. I miss my girl chat; we had so many plans.
As much as I would love to walk around with a sad face, the thought of you coming into my mind, I can’t. I know that’s not something you would want me to do anytime I think of you and bring a smile to my face and ring the whole flood of conversations that you and I had throughout the years that we’ve known each other and that we’ve been a part of each other’s lives.
It feels fantastic when I can speak about you in the present tense, like if you were just on some vacation. So, you’re coming back soon because that’s what it feels like to me, you on this long-ass vacation, and eventually, I will see you again, and I hope and pray that your ass excited as I would be when I see you again.
Life has been rough without you and what I hate the most is I can’t pick up the phone and call you and talk to you about what’s going on; you would be surprised, but then again, you wouldn’t be surprised if that makes sense. So, hopefully, they’ll see you as you’re reading this from heaven.
Time hasn’t made anything easier but any of us, but I can only speak for myself. I miss you like hell, and I can’t keep telling them on a piece of paper how much I miss you and not be able to say to you physically how much I miss you because they’re up in heaven looking down at the mess that world as becoming since you have been gone.
There are not many ways I can tell you that I miss you, but I do miss you like crazy part of me is jealous that you’re not here, and then the other part of me is glad that you’re not here because you’re no longer in pain and you’re finally resting.
I know I would be one of Many always telling me I need to take it easy, take better care of myself.
Stop doing this, stop doing that, and the only thing you tell me is I will rest the day I die.
I will get so pissed at you because I wanted you here forever, But I know then nothing is forever, and no one is supposed to be here forever, but you’re just one of those people besides my lovely grandmother that I wish could’ve stayed here forever.
I miss you, big head, most of all. I miss the girl chat. I will always love you; love this is not a word love is an Emotion, and I’m grateful that you loved me the way you did and accepted me even with my craziness.
I am single. I’m unavailable to the world because I am getting to know who I am without the definition of someone else.
I’m Single because I need to put myself back together to be whole for myself.
I’m single because I want to see what someone can bring to the table before I leave my card out on the table. It’s no longer going to be 50-50. It’s going to be 100, 100. We should both give the best of each other to each other.
I am single because I choose to be alone. Everyone’s always afraid to be alone, and I’m not because being alone has allowed me to see what type of woman I am and what I’m capable of when I don’t have somebody holding me down.
Single life can be the best time in anyone’s life because this is the one time we get to Discover. Who we are. and the things that we want for ourselves? Before we commit ourselves to someone who truly has no idea of what we want or what we are looking for because we have not even taken the time to figure out what we want or what we’re looking for when it comes to a partnership.
I want to believe that I’m using this time wisely, and what I mean by that is I am in a place where I can say I’m strong like myself every day. I discover something new about myself every day; I challenge myself by doing something different or being more open-minded about certain things that I would never be open-minded about.
One of the most important things I’m learning about myself through this self-discovery is that I’m more than capable of taking care of myself. As I said, I might not be a millionaire, but I can manage myself and manage whatever comes my way because I am strong, I am wise beyond my years, and it’s OK not to have an OK when I feel like the world is caving in on me.
As long as I’m strong enough to come back and face the world in the world is ready for me, I’m good to go. I never knew how strong I was until I had to be. If it wasn’t for my faith-testing me every day and showing me that I could get through anything as long as I believed and put my trust in him.
Thank you for testing my faith and giving me my confidence in myself, and then you support me through anything that seems like the impossible thing to get through.
Sometimes in life, we let particular things in our own lives discourage us from what we want for ourselves. I know it’s easier said than done to say don’t let things prevent you away from the most positive things in your life.
Sometimes we hope and pray that somebody brings this positivity.
We have to find our positivity and what brings joy in our lives. What gets me happiness today doesn’t necessarily mean it might bring somebody else happy.
My joy knows that I can be creative and express myself through words. Words have a lot of power, but actions are a lot more powerful.
If your words don’t match your actions, it’s not going to mean shit because when we talk about words and actions, it’s like putting a puzzle together want all the right pieces to fit in the right places; if they don’t, that means starting from scratch until they work in the right areas.
If your words are not going to match your actions, you might as well not save them and hope and pray that you can find another way to show who you are as a person.
We give words power and strength and action, so let’s use words wisely and Kindly before throwing them out there like they don’t mean anything.
Nothing I do with my life will ever make sense to anyone, and at this point in my life, I’m not looking to make sense to anyone but myself.
I understand why I get myself into situations. After all, I always dive in headfirst because I want what I want when I want it. But, unfortunately, I’m not the person to sit there and explain why I like what I want.
I’ve never been the type of female to say this is why I want this. So instead, I say I like it, trying my hardest to get what I want.
I’ve gotten a lot of the things because God has blessed me with them. However, my determination does not allow me to tear away from what I want; it might not be conventional for the rest of the world. It doesn’t have to be both of me; it’s right; it feels right.
I’m going to go with what feels suitable instead of being conventional. Everybody else might think I don’t care what anybody thinks; life is about being able to write your own rules and then follow them.
There’s nothing more straightforward when you can create your own rules and follow them because you know what you expect from yourself and no one else.
We live in times where nothing is conventional loan days, so why do I have to submit this box of convention all of a sudden because of what the world might say or think of me as a person.
As I become more transparent, I want people to know that I am not a conventional person.
I’m a person that goes on impulse. I fight tooth and nail for everything I want and have, and I believe that God has a huge part in everything that I say aspire to be I want to do with my life.
The most important lesson I want people to take away from this piece is that we must write all the rules and live by them because that’s the only way we can be happy.
I find myself in the place where I’m asking myself where, when, and how I could end up here again.
I find myself in a bowl of different emotions hoping to Unroll all these other emotions that have rolled up in a giant ball that might drop at the edge of a dime if I am not careful.
Many people would ask why when I opened the door again for something; I was so determined to keep it closed because I hated what I was becoming and felt like no matter what I did or said, I wasn’t going to be good enough or sorry enough to move forward.
I know then no one is ever supposed to say never, but when it comes to certain things in my life, I know I could never say because I heard from my horse mouth.
Even though that someone has and was able to bring me joy at a particular time in my life. Where I am in my life, I don’t know if I am working on impulse when I decide that I would be okay with opening that door again?
When I opened the door to that someone, I thought I had most of my inner struggles under control. But, honestly speaking, I don’t have shit under control.
I am someone that seriously prides herself in having control over certain things in her life because physically, I don’t have control over things because I need so much.
Love and my heart are the only things I control over who and when I decide to give them away. When it came to my person, I felt like I didn’t get a chance to decide because my heart did it for me.
I want to ask questions, but I want to get answers, but part of me is not ready for those answers because I’ll get the worst before getting if I ever get the best.
Closing a circle is always tricky because you don’t know where or how to tie off the loop.
Family is supposed to mean unity but unity means different things to different families.
My family is like a popularity contest of who’s the favorite and who is the family’s black sheep, and guess where I fall in my family’s line.
I am the black sheep of my family because I don’t have a bond like everybody else does with each other. I don’t have a bond with the family because they’ve made me feel like an outcast.
I can’t be trusted by saying things about my character like I am big or a liar.
On top of all the character bashing, I feel like the most significant burden on everyone.
They can smile at me like the rest of the world does but talk shit behind my back, but when I tell them how I feel, I’m wrong because I shouldn’t feel that way.
I’m not allowed to feel that way because of everything they’ve given up to take care of me.
I’ve always said this, and I stick by my statement, I never asked to be here.
That was a choice that was made for me before I was even thought of, and I’m not going to feel bad for speaking my truth, just like when they talk about me being a liar, me being a bitch me being difficult. As much as I would like to be a part of my family, why would I want to when they have such a dark perception of who I am as a person.
The main reason I can be who I want to be with my friends is that my friends have no judgment of me and don’t make me feel indifferent to them.
My disability has never defined me, but my family has allowed my disability to determine how far I can go in life.
I’m not about to do that to please them. I want my own life. I deserve it; I have earned it.
I’ve given them 40 years of my life; I’m not about to give them another 40 years. I became an adult, mind, body, and soul; the god blessed me at 21 years old. I did not use marriage to become emancipated.
Honestly, my mother forgets that marriage is emancipated in every way possible in the state of New York City. So I feel like whoever reads my following statement will feel some way about me, and I can say I don’t give fuck.
Yes, true, my mother has dirty hands; wiping ass broke her back; caring for me like no other person would give me the best years of her life. Caring for who everyone sees today, and I am blessed and grateful.
If I may be truthful, I am sick tired of the constant guilt of how grateful I should be because she chose to put her life on hold for me when it is my turn to live without feeling like I am stopping everybody else from living there extraordinary lives.
Try me in any way, and you’re going to find out who I am and what I’m capable of.
Box me inside a box because I’m different, and Society doesn’t accept those who are different. So I will break through the chest and show Society who I am as a person. But, unfortunately, if I try to explain to Society who I am rather than showing them who I am, they always try to keep me in that box of unwanted things or necessary things to look at.
I am someone who wants to be wanted, and it is necessary to look at it because I feel you can learn so much from me about what my life has been like. One of the most important things that I want Society to know about someone like me is that the word no does not mean much to me; it just pushes me more challenging to
what I want, how I want, and when I want to do it.
Anybody that has known me for a while has known that I’ve been through hell & back.
Last few years of my life, I’ve taken this time in my life now to do a lot.
That means spending time asking myself the most challenging question in the world.
One of those questions is, what will I do with the rest of my life? I sound like I have it together for most people because I’m doing things that make me happy, such as blogging every day, making videos, and all of that good stuff.
Then, when I have a moment to think to myself and have a chance to reflect, this is not how I saw my life being alone at the age of 40.
I thought I would’ve had my own family, better yet, just a place to call my own because, to my surprise, I’m still at home with my mommy.
I’m not embarrassed to admit that, but I don’t want this life, and it’s easy to say what we don’t wish to than it is to say what we want.
If we don’t like something, we have to try our very best to change to get what we want, and positivity is key to getting everything that we wish.
Still, then again, I have to remember that God doesn’t always give us what we want; he gives us what we need some, assuming that God still thinks that I still need to be mommy’s girl because he has me still living with her.
She still sees me as this vulnerable little girl who can’t and will never be able to take care of herself, which is far from the truth.
I will never be able to physically 100% be able to take care of myself, which I’m aware of.
Still, I can make it out on my own I need a chance or an opportunity to be on my own.
Not because I want this family situation anymore. I know too many people I’m going to offend by saying this.
I’m 40 years old. I’m not trying to bring a baby into the world at this age in my life. What I would enjoy is a life partner who supports me, gets me can laugh and cry at the same time with me, who doesn’t pass judgment, and most definitely does not care about my past.
So my biggest goal being 40 is success at my level; whatever level that is, that’s what I want. I want to financially say I can take care of myself just by speaking about my life.
I think my life is so fucking exciting, and I’ve always wanted to share pieces of my life because of everybody.
I have ever come across has always made me feel like my life is so much better. After all, everything is given to me.
I don’t have to worry about anything because it’s just taken care of for me, and that’s far from the truth.
I love work; whether blogging, I make videos to make videos. I enjoy what I do. But unfortunately, I have a passion for money is not the best right now.
If you don’t enjoy what you do or are doing it for the money, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons, every single piece of my life. I share something personal; something intimate I didn’t start blogging because I thought I would make thousands of dollars or open up online stores.
I thought I would make thousands of dollars; no, I did that because of disabled people.
Don’t have many opportunities, so we have to take all chances to survive in this cruel world that does not work except for us for who we are. I love riding.
I might not always write correctly, but I love to do it. So, I find myself in every piece I put together.
I hope to inspire someone else who feels defeated and thrown away with every work I put together by society.
I am not going to play the blame for the way I feel about the way I think of myself as a woman.
No one has ever obliged me to do or stay in a place I do not want.
All my choices for myself have always been in mind, body, and soul.
If I continue to make the same mistake or relapsing is not because I care about who likes me.
Chapter 40 is about loving who I am and realizing that I’m not going to be perfect, but I will keep becoming a better person no matter how many times I fall off because I will always be strong enough to get back up.
I feel worthless not because anyone has made me feel that way but because I have been allowed to be in a place useless people never seem to leave.
This message is for the whole world. If we allow others to make us feel useless, we will enable them to.
If we no longer want to feel useless, we need to stop giving up or power away.
When I decided to brand myself as Ms. butterfly Genesis, it was not to change my identity because I’m still me.
I just wanted to see if I could build something from nothing I have.
I’m very proud of it because I’ve expanded my blog; into what I believe is a fantastic podcast and created a YouTube channel that pushes me out of my comfort zone.
I’ve never felt comfortable speaking in front of a camera. But, still, I’m doing it because I believe in myself, and I believe in what I’m doing, whatever this is supposed to be, because I’m learning as I’m going along.
For those who don’t know me personally, I’ve always loved writing, īt has always given me a fantastic outlet to express myself properly incorrectly. I’ve always loved to put my thoughts to pen and paper.
I never saw myself doing anything else that had nothing to do with writing Because writing is the only way I’ve been able to find myself. I love doing it whether it sounds Like I’ve been properly educated or not.
I have a passion for words, and words have helped me with so many stories and hopefully inspire other people.
Words are compelling; they can break someone or build someone up and help them through something difficult.
I came up or had help coming up with Ms. Butterfly Genesis because I have always felt like a prisoner of my own body.
A butterfly can fly free with no worries, judgment, or ridicule someone else’s.
The trademark means Ms.butterfly genesis has been fantastic for almost two years because it allowed me to express myself in ways I never thought possible I might not be rolling in money. Still, I am proud to say that I’ve done everything out of enjoyment and because I want to inspire other people.
I never thought about becoming famous; I just thought about allowing myself to do something that I love and enjoy, which is writing and having the ability to post most of my life on social media.
I also look at it as when the world doesn’t want to give you an opportunity because of your limitation. You have to make your opportunities by finding a passion that you have and making something out of nothing like I’m doing with my brand, Ms. Butterfly Genesis People who know me might think this is funny; this is something just for me to do for fun, but this is something I’m passionate about. I believe that it might not be huge, but it’s something I’m proud of, and I stick by it because I did it.
I’m not looking for validation, but I am looking for some type of respect when it comes to the things I’m trying to build around the brand.
Thank you for reading and listening and supporting me throughout my journey of being a blogger and for being able to tell my story my way. I hope you guys did more to come.
Sometimes, to detox the negativity in our lives, we have to have the strength to realize that things or people make our lives very toxic.
Toxicity’s it’s like a significant roadblock for anything and everything you might want to do with yourself. The only way we can on unblocking those roads is by watching who or what is holding us down beside ourselves Is the fear that we have of moving forward.
I have to detox from certain people in my life because then I am holding back, but the feelings I have for them are holding me back from moving forward in my life and reaching a happy place in my life, a place of completion and having a full circle with myself.
So the only way I can come full circle with myself, it’s finally detoxing myself from those memories in those feelings that haunt me every day of my life because I allow myself to.
For many years I feared letting go because letting go facing things alone, and who wants to be alone?
Even when I had the opportunity to share my life with amazing people, I still felt alone.
I would not allow myself to be vulnerable with anyone because I was terrified of judgment this is not being understood for the person I was.
Even though I struggle to figure out who I am and what my primary purpose is today.
I don’t want people to misunderstand me. I love being able to blog all day long about my life.
I enjoy blogging because I share very intimate parts of myself with the world, and I hope that by doing so, I’m helping someone in the darkest moments, even in the happiest moments.
In this self-journey that I have going with myself, it’s difficult for me to say that I’m 100% happy, honestly.
I have good and bad days, and I realize it’s OK when I’m not OK. This journey has been incredible. Let me understand that no matter how much you want something doesn’t mean you’re always going to get it.
You can change 1001 things about yourself, but if no one’s willing to remove The negative image of who you were from the person you are today, it’s difficult for anyone to move forward.
It’s also challenging to continue to say I am a different person, but if I’m still showing my ass as if I were the same person, I was running away from life.
Words don’t mean much these days is; the actions behind those words speak volumes of the type of person I am becoming, and I’m working very hard on keeping around.
Before I begin putting this piece together, I would love to start by saying I’m not attacking men for defending their women.
I’m a firm believer that men should protect their women at any time. I’m also not trying to be a hypocrite and say that you’re a celebrity; you should watch how or where you do things because all eyes are always on you.
After all, you become a role model for the rest of the world. Indeed, your status should not matter when defending your wife or your family.
Being a part of the public, I think everyone is responsible for being mindful of their actions and knowing that every effort reacts.
I feel that if we are two grown men so grown men, we should behave like adults and not condone violence because we have enough violence against us because of our skin color or who we are in the public eye.
Bing people of color, we seriously hate being stereotyped, but if we act or even say things that would fit those stereotypes that we’re trying to run away from, how can we blame those people for stereotyping us.
Suppose you no longer want to be stereotyped as those people. In that case, we should be mindful of our actions and our words because not only cameras will be on us, but the whole world will be upon us, watching us make sure that we fit everything single stereotype they think of us as people of color, not human beings that we are.
In closing, I would like to say that as men have a strong brotherhood, whether correct wrong; a brotherhood is forever, and everyone is always trying to stay on top.
So I don’t believe that we should knock somebody down to try To remain on top; we should encourage each other and push forward and understand that life is too short to be doing inappropriate things that we might not be able to take back. It’s a good chance that everyone’s perception of who you are may change just because of one night of action.
I have so many people in my life. I had hurt those who genuinely tried loving me for me when I had the strength to be the real me. I could honestly say no one knew when I was trying to be the real me because I developed such a lair reputation that made it difficult for anyone to trust me.
Now that I have this time of reflection, I can’t help but think how fuck up I am as a person because I was able to lie, feeling no kind of remorse about who I was hurting.
Even though I felt no remorse at the time, I was hurting myself at the time for not allowing myself to be my authentic self. After all, I always thought that people would not like my authentic self because I have struggled to like myself.
So I would project my dislike about myself onto others, not understanding that the only thing they were trying to do was love me if I gave them a chance.
I could be sorry until I am blue in the face; that doesn’t mean that anyone should forgive what it does mean when someone is being honest with you, you should give it right back.
Reflection time has left me wondering what if and wishing I could go back to that one true love.
I don’t know to feel today, but all I know is I feel like a ball of emotions. Today is one of those days that pass me by, and I have no clue where it will end.
I would love to set straight if I have been on this journey of self-discovery, and the most important thing I have learned about myself is that I am finally at peace with myself, and I don’t give a fuck who likes me. But unfortunately, I am not usually the one that handles it to be appreciated by the world because I understand I am not going to everyone’s cup of tea.
I have to enjoy who I am right now and who I am today as someone who has every day struggled to find the strength to fight for myself. Finally, coming to terms that the world is always going to have its opinion about me, and if I am going to survive this ugly world, I need other’s opinions people to roll off my back. Yet, I continue to push forward with life like nothing is bothering me.
If I allow other thoughts of who I am or who I should get to me, I won’t be valid to the person I am trying to become, and that person is someone who needs to be at peace with herself and owes no one any type of explanation of who or what I am doing with myself.
There are so many issues in this world, one of the main issues besides no jobs lack of homes for people.
Many people like myself and I struggle with this accessibility and living in NYC, which is supposed to be one of the most accessible places in the world. I’ll be a wheelchair user myself. I can honestly say New York City lacks accessibility and ways of making it easier for us to get around without hurting ourselves and messing up our wheelchairs.
Our wheelchair takes the most beating because of the cracks on the streets not getting on the sidewalks.
Some of the sidewalks are not friendly either.
Being forever wheelchair users, we get accustomed to getting around the cracks and inaccessible Sidewalks. People would believe just because we live in such a large city like NYC; we wouldn’t have these problems because New York is supposed to be buried in money, and we have people that are supposed to be fighting for things that should be making our lives a little easier as a wheelchair user.
Still, in reality, those people in higher places like the politics. Those politicians don’t care how we survive or how we get around in this world.
They care about the seat in and doing their time and pretending like they care when they don’t think that’s why a lot of us find different ways to fight back on the lack of promises those people to have made so that they can have a seat and not do anything for those who helped get there.
Bosses Intelligent Independent Strong Warriors Survivors For many years women have been known to be the backbone of their families Women are amazing. That’s why we should always respect ourselves and uplift ourselves because if we don’t do it for each other, who will do it for us today? So we should honor ourselves and every single woman around the world. We should always honor women because of their our first line educators in life. They mold us into the people we will become in this world.
If you try to change for someone, they are not genuinely excepting you for who you are.
Yes, compromise is a big thing in relationships, but you should not change your whole existence for someone is not trying to see beyond those flaws.
They’re so focused on changing who you can fit into the mold of who you should be with them.
I believe anytime we try to fit anyone’s perfect mold, one of the most critical questions we should ask ourselves is how important it is for us to work in that ideal mold?
When we get into relationships as women, we would love to believe that love should be enough to survive, and maybe for some women, it is.
Many of us, though, want more than just love; we want that partner that we can communicate with without judgment or fear of not being heard.
I always believe that if we get close to having the perfect relationship, we should make it happen with someone who can quickly become or, alright, our best friend.
Making or having that best friend makes it pretty easy to become vulnerable with that person because, as women, there is nothing we would not be willing to share with our best friends.
Having a best friend becomes our forever helps us avoid the awkward moments of building relationships with people who might not be our best friends.
When we can find our best friend, we find our life partners that we can see more than just a simple friendship. But, to build something solid, we must understand what we need from each other and know that we are coming into this relationship as two wholes that are coming together as one.
I thought we were going to be forever because that’s what my heart desired was my forever, but you just became a moment in time.
A moment in time pushed me to learn survival skills and learn about who I was and who I did not want to be.
I was trying to be everything, and I was failing myself in the process. Failure is not someone I’m used to being because of put so much pressure on myself to be perfect.
The pressure of being perfect made my forever impossible because I had no idea that you didn’t want perfect you just wanted me. In all honesty, I had no clue how to give you all of me when I had no idea who I was and what I expected from me to give to you.
Rejection is a part of life. It’s a learning experience and makes you stronger to fight for what you want.
The meaning of rejection is not to give up but keep fighting for what you want and who you are.
Don’t allow the negativity to overpower the positivity in your mind.
These words look beautiful on paper. They even sound good, and I am saying them.
Still, mentally, I constantly tournament myself, wondering when in how I am going to finally get the opportunity to have something just for me and no one else.
I’m a fighter I’ve been a fighter since the day I took my first breath; the main thing that motivates me to be the fighter I am is because so many people tell me that I can’t or that I shouldn’t do something because they don’t see it possible for me. The world might not seem things likely for me. I do because I believe in my capabilities as a human being despite my disability and limitations. They come along with my disability. My disability is my strength but it also it makes your whole block for everything that everyone else and the rest of the world take for granted. I’m not going to stop because I know what I deserve, so here we go again.
I’m so proud of myself. I just overcame a milestone. It’s not a secret that I struggle with being a people pleaser because I need everyone to like me, and I just wanted that feeling of acceptance. I am in the journey of finding out who I am as a woman and as a person, so at this point in my life, I can’t hold anyone in my life who does not want to be a part of my journey of figuring out who I am.
Before realizing that I needed change in my life, I would do anything, and I know it doesn’t sound good when I say I would do anything to make sure the people would see in my life just because I needed to know or I needed to feel wanted by people in life.
So I would try to meet the needs of those people because I want to like myself, but if I can be honest with myself right now, I never had the self-esteem I portrayed out in public.
Another thing I struggle with is saying no to people because I don’t want to let anyone down, and saying no is letting those people down.
My chapter 40 no longer cares who will stay or go because I’m not willing to be that yes person Because I’m afraid of being alone. Sometimes I might slip off the right path because I’m not perfect.
I’m at the point in my life where I don’t care who likes me who doesn’t care who believes in my changes which do not if I have to lose people throughout this new journey of mine so weird that means they weren’t meant to be in my life forever and that’s cool because nothing is forever.
Happy Galentine day to all my beautiful single ladies. I’ve always been a firm believer in only using a particular day or a memorable holiday to say I love you to someone.
We have had a crazy three years with Covid, and we should not use a day late Valentine’s Day to say I love you to someone. Instead, we should say I love you as much as a heart’s desire to say I love you.
Love is a fantastic process, but it’s hard work, and part of the process of love is knowing the first person you must love is yourself because if you don’t love yourself or you don’t attempt to love yourself, how are you going to share your heart with anyone else.
Being on this new journey of learning how to love myself even on my worst days, I am learning that I should build the best relationship I can with myself, and the only way I can do that is by giving myself self-care and self-love.
One of the things I’m in the process of dating is myself and spending time with myself getting to know myself in ways I never thought about getting to know myself.
Not everyone is perfect; people should not strive to be perfect. After all, when we strive to be perfect, that’s when things tend to fall apart.
In reality, no one’s perfect if I have learned anything at the beginning of this journey is that I have to love myself with all my flaws and realize said I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea.
Still, I am damn sure my favorite cup of tea because I’m not trying to fit that mole of being perfect and being untouchable that’s just not me.
I’ve made my mistakes; I’m learning to hold myself accountable. But, unfortunately, I’m also allowing other people to hold me responsible for my shit.
The amazing thing about love that is apart is forgiveness, and before anyone can forgive me for my shit, I have to forgive myself for my shit.
If I can’t forgive myself, how can I expect anyone to forgive me for any wrongdoing I’ve done? But, I’ll continue to do it because, throughout this journey, I realize I’m going to have minor slip-ups here and there.
I’m not going to be completely cured of the bitch said I was born to be, but at least I know the roots of my wrongdoings. So I can acknowledge that is nothing wrong with asking or admitting that you might need outside help once you can recognize that you open up a whole new world for yourself, and I believe that’s what I’ve done.
Nobody wants to be alone, especially not on Valentine’s Day, but if I think about it, I’m not alone because I have always had myself and the love of those who genuinely love me.
I felt that having someone was enough or sometimes wasn’t enough for me. I just never treated myself with love and respect as I am trying to work on myself right now—happy Galentine’s day to all, my beautiful ladies and couples around the world.
If I am incomplete as a woman to myself, how can I pretend to be whole to the rest of the world? I can’t be a complete woman for the world and part of it.
Taking accountability for not knowing who I am or what I am looking for as a person or woman makes me incomplete. When I understand who I am, I can understand the type of woman I want to be for myself.
I can’t just say that I need to take accountability for my mistakes or me not feeling complete as a woman.
The only way I can accept accountability for anything I found in my life Or anything I’ve done to others who have not deserved my bad behavior.
If I can be honest with myself and say and admit to myself that I was in the wrong, I need help figure out why I would behave the way I act towards myself and others trying to be there.
The only thing that comes to my mind when I begin to think about my behavior is my acting out towards everyone who has tried to make it into something that I don’t want to be or never allowing me to find who I am as a person.
Love is not always what we are subject to when watching a love story in a movie.
Love is about knowing who you are as a person and how you are in love with yourself. Every day, you allow yourself to discover something new who you are.
Love is a feeling that many of us go blind because love has a bad habit of becoming a blindfold.
Love teaches us to work with who we are as a person and with someone else being a part of our lives.
Love is also about sacrifice, but we should sacrifice the things that make us who we are as individuals, like our belief system or change who we are to accommodate someone else.
Love is hard work, but that begins with oneself before we dare to say I love you, someone, other than yourself.
Loving me is loving all my imperfections and my flaws.
It’s crazy that I know who I should be to everyone else in my life.
I should be perfect for making up that I am not physically perfect to the rest of the world.
When it comes to who I should be to myself, I’m clueless because I’ve been so many things for so many people for so many years.
After all, I am a major people pleaser. But, I’m slowly walking into who I should be for myself, and the main thing I should manifest for myself is happy with myself.
My other manifestation for myself should be having my voice and not giving a fuck about what anybody thinks about me, all the things I have to say simply because no one lives in my skin.
Everyone has the right to use their voice, but people must understand that their voices are a powerful tool that can make or break people.
We have fought long and hard to be heard, so now that we know that we can speak our minds, we should do it but in a respectful way so everyone can be heard because a lot of us miss using the power of voices to break down those who don’t have the ability in their voices.
It’s been two years since the last time we said goodbye I have no idea what to say or how to feel that you don’t already know or haven’t seen for yourself since you’ve left us.
Two years and it seems like it was yesterday that everyone that you ever loved or ever touched in the special he was there saying their goodbyes and me whispering, I love you hoping that you would’ve heard those words coming from me.
I needed you to listen to those words coming from my mouth because I didn’t want you to feel like you were alone.
As your body was getting ready to leave the physical world, my only concern was letting you know how much I loved you and how much I was going to miss you.
I know you have no choice in how or when you decide to leave us.
But, still, I do want you to know something our lives will never be the same because you were the glue that held a lot of us together.
Now that we no longer have you, it feels like it’s time we fall apart because you were. I will comment denominator, but now we don’t have a common denominator that was you.
Two years and I’m still wondering if that hole that you left in my mother’s heart will ever be filled again, and will she ever be the same person she was before you left.
She puts on a brave face because that’s all she’s knows because she refuses to show pain.
What can I tell you about myself in the past two years that you haven’t been here? My personal life is a hot mess, but knowing you would smile and giggle and tell me when you will get a boyfriend.
As you laugh, my only response would be Guy, way too much trouble; I’d rather be alone, and Knowing you, you would have agreed with me and told me not to waste my time to focus on walking.
Of course, I will smile back and say I will, and you were Giggle.
My personal life is not something to be spoken for.
But, still, everything else that I wanted to do as far as blogging YouTube being it’s going pretty well, and I’m proud of myself, and I know you would be proud of me too because I’m finally doing something for me I wish you were around to see it all.
I miss you every day, every hour, every minute. I no longer know how to say I miss you.
People honor a man who died for change, and that has been some changes, but my opinion is the world has not changed enough because people are still looking at each other’s skin.
We should feel like a melting pot part of a beautiful rainbow by now. But, instead, we are still fighting for the color of our skin. The fact In this day in age, as people, we still have to prove that our skin color should no longer be.
The day we can stop killing each other or fighting each other for who skin is better, I would love to believe that we are going to be seen as people, not as a color.
Something that overwhelms me how are we truly honor his legacy? When we are killing each other instead of coming together and becoming an amazing iron fit that we should as a society.
I want to look back because I felt I could get that incomplete off my heart, and all I believe I received was a sense of a stupid woman.
Stupid woman because I choose to feel inadequate about holding on to the vague feeling over what was once my marriage.
Now that I have realized that feeling of incompletion is or was going to be a part of my life, I need to find peace within myself and understand that everything doesn’t need to be complete.
I will never fix my past, but I can grant myself a fantastic future.
The only way I can have a future with myself is when I begin to forgive myself for all my bad behavior and not accept myself just the way I am.
If I’m going to be my authentic self, I have to let go of being perfect for the world. When being perfect is not being genuine.
This-where I am mental; this is everything I feel when I hear the rest of the world laughing and talking.
I want to scream to the rest of the world what about me, but then I think to myself, what the point of screaming it out to the world is?
What about me if I’ve never felt like I had anything good to offer anyone, just my nasty attitude and my way of pushing people away.
I can’t, or I shouldn’t scream.
What about me if I don’t allow anyone to get to know me or listen to me when I need someone to listen to me.
I can’t complain about feeling abandoned when I have emotionally left by cutting myself off from people and family.
My main excuse for cutting people off emotionally has always been that no one understands me or hears me when I try to save something; it might not be necessary to them.
But, still, it’s important to me because it’s whatever I’m feeling or whatever I’m going through that needs to be said.
The feeling of rejection or just being turned away is overwhelming to me.
So that’s why I have emotionally cut myself off from tagging myself to anyone because I don’t want anyone to let me down emotionally.
I cannot emotionally keep abusing myself and blaming it on others and, in the same breath, reach out to the public.
For the public to be primarily connected, they must be at its transparent as possible and be willing to open the door to the hearts.
When I can’t do the same for myself, I can’t open the door and enable people to see me.
I can’t continue to preach to the public about being fearless when I am afraid of being bold about who I am and what I’m feeling, and the things I might be going through emotionally.
Since I turn 40 years old, I’ve been screaming from the top of my lungs this is the newest chapter of my life, but I’ve realized the only way this will be the latest chapter of my life is if I practice what I preach.
If I don’t follow through with what I preach to others, then chapter 40 it’s just like the rest of my life. It’s a circle did never ends.
But I am choosing today to make the circle, and because today, I’m choosing to stop abusing myself emotionally, and I’m going to be more open to the possibility of allowing the public to see me.
So that’s what this whole blogging journey has been about people seeing me.
I have tried to be Bold but couldn’t be because I always worried about hurting someone’s feelings.
All my life, I have been taught or Intimidated by the fact that I always need someone for the rest of my life.
Therefore, I should not try to bite the hand that feeds me or cleans my ass.
So what that meant for me was to suppress a lot of my feelings internally into myself and blame myself for a lot of the things and a lot of ways people would make me feel because I was not allowed to bite that hand.
So keeping that in mind, I learned how to walk on eggshells with people, including my own family, because I understood I needed Them more than they needed me to be around.
Holding back my emotions has limited me from communicating with others.
I don’t always communicate in a way where I am understood right away, and sometimes I feel like I try my best to speak; I get lost in my communication.
I lack the most in contact is the wrong wording and how I phrase things to people.
bold
outspoken
fearless
unbothered
understanding
opinions
disagreements
These are the steps that anyone, including myself.
It needs to go by anytime we need to communicate our feelings to the world.
Stop feeling apologetic anytime anyone’s feelings get bothered by my Opinion just because of the fear of not having my back up to help me with my need every day.
I already have so many things in my life that intimidate me; why should I speak up for myself or share an opinion about something?
It should scare me as well.
So no way I have a voice, and I’m not going to use it if people want to join the ride; please do, but if you don’t get off before I ride off.
I wouldn’t say I like the fact that he lives in me.
I have yet to learn how to let go without falling to pieces.
Falling into pieces because my heart is twisted into his, my biggest fear is no longer connected to him.
Everyone is looking for some connection that you can’t explain with words. We have to live through emotion to understand my fear and relationship.
It’s incredible to feel like myself and be myself even when I try my hardest to go against everything, I feel within myself.
He has the key to making me feel alive, but then again, he has the strength to pull me apart. No one should have that much power, but he does because my heart is stupid in love.
When our heart becomes ridiculous in love, it’s difficult to see the truth even when the truth is slapping you right back, trying to make you react.
Why can’t we be stupid in love with ourselves just like we can be stupid in love with someone who has told us I am in love with you?
Dear self you’re so good at giving everyone advice, but I don’t understand why it isn’t easy to take your advice.
You know how to uplift the world with all your positive thinking positive words, but who is there to inspire you when you need uplifting no one because you make it seem like you have all together on the outside but, you know, on the inside, you live in a hot mess.
Don’t be afraid to show yourself the same tough love that you give to everyone that comes to you with the need of Tough love. But, if you’re going to be a preacher about self-love and tough -love, you have to be able to do it for yourself.
Figure out why you cannot love yourself the way you show the world that you love yourself; what is it about yourself that you believe you’re not worthy of love yourself. Of course, you are worthy of loving yourself, but you have to figure that out for yourself; no one can tell you or show you how to love you as well it’s a process that you have to figure out for yourself and do for yourself.
I guess it’s true what they say I deafly have to fake it before I can make it, so I still have to show that I’m strong and that I love myself until I finally get to the point where I can honestly be honest with myself and say that I love myself.
Loving myself is letting go of all the negativity that holds me back from loving myself honestly the way I deserve to be loved and understanding that I can’t find true love in anyone else but myself.
Finding Knowing Understanding Acknowledging Pushing beyond all obstacles that say no while I say yes, I will. Yes, I will be true no matter who I hurt in the long run. Yes, I acknowledge I’m not perfect, but I never tried to be perfect because becoming perfect is like living in a bubble. I already live in a bubble because the world sees me as a fragile glass that can break at any moment. I understand that sometimes my emotions can get the best of me, and sometimes my feelings don’t allow me to think clearly. I know I should consider before for speaking but it’s difficult for such emotional person like myself.
I’ve said this in plenty of my other pieces. I am the type of person that needs to be liked by everyone and excepted by my family.
Everything I have tried to do with my life is to get somebody’s approval or somebody with validation on who I am as a person.
Coming into my 40s, I’m to the point where I’m tired of fighting and feeling like I need this person to like me, or I need my family to approve of the things I want to do with my life to feel like I have support.
So here now, I don’t give a fuck if you like me; if you don’t like me, I don’t even care about them supporting me.
One of my biggest insecurities, and I’ve never said it publicly, is I always care about what people think about me and their perceptions of me.
I need to keep reminding myself every day of my life as long as I’m here at the People’s perception of me should not matter and should not validate the person I am and who I’m becoming.
I’ve always walked on eggshells with my family because they’re my source of caregiving; they are The Who dirty their hands, wiping my ass every day.
So I should have some loyalty to them. But, in reality, just because they wipe my ass doesn’t mean that I have to agree with everything they try to throw at me, and that does not mean they have the right to belittle me as a person.
Just like my family should not have to put up with with myself disrespectful ass when I want to be a bitch coming out my mouth knowing that at the end of the day I’m going to need them.
My validation has become within myself and no one else I’m a grown ass woman despite the fact that someone always has to wipe my ass so with that being said the validation stands with me and then anyone else.
Christmas, I believe, has been very much commercialized. I also think that everyone has lost the true meaning of Christmas. I’m 40 years old. I was a little kid; I had everything about heart desired more.
Thinking back on those times, I can’t believe how lucky and how blessed we were as children coming up in those times because right now, there’s nothing more that I wish but to go back to a time, So I meant to enjoy my innocence and enjoy building more memories with everyone around me.
Nowadays, it’s all about the latest technology, the latest clothes, and just everything up-to-date what’s the most expensive thing you can get a child, instead of teaching our children about building memories making memories.
But, one day, what does having the latest technology and the latest clothes mean? If the people that genuinely have one’s heart are no longer here with us to enjoy those things, nothing.
I guess what I’m trying to say with this piece is that we have lost a tremendous number of people who had no reason to lose their lives for almost two years now. I’m no longer here with us; this is why I say Christmas should be about the family.
I am mad at myself because I’m 40 years old disabled, and I still live with my mother.
I’m at a point in my life where I can’t even stand being with myself because I’m aggravated at the fact that it seems like I will never get the chance to know what it’s like to be independent.
I know that I will never be 100% independent because of my limitations.
One of my biggest fantasies is having a place I can call my own; then I can make my own rules come as I, please go with that please and not have to worry about the woman that gave me life things up waiting for me to put me back into bed.
Like I said in the first few lines when I first started rambling, I know I’m never going to be 100% independent.
I’m always going to need someone to be by my side to get along with my days and nights, but I still would want something that’s mine that would be a significant accomplishment for me.
It would be such an accomplishment for me because I doubt that it will happen for me one day, and I have the rest of the world letting me know that I will never find that independence that I am so desperately looking for within myself.
Keys inside my door. In my own space where I could set my own rules, I know that I have no one to answer to at the end of the day but myself.
Freedom from A life of someone else micromanaging every move, every decision you should be able to make on your own but don’t because you don’t want to step over anybody’s toes.
I was having something of your knowledge and understanding the struggle it took to get it, but worth it because no one can take it away from you.
You have the guts to step out on your own while everyone else around you is praying that you fail.
Also, understand that once you step foot outside the bubble that has protected you for 40+ years, you can’t go back to no matter how hot it gets out in the real world because not only do you have something to prove to yourself, but you have something to prove to the world.
I choose to say world because when it comes to the disabled community, the world hasn’t been very understanding and very friendly to us. The world has never made us feel a part of them; they’ve always tried to put it in the corner where we’re not seen or heard. It’s time for that to change, and the only way it’s going to change is if we continue to fight for independence away from all loved ones and even institutions that try to keep us from living quarters’ entire everyday lives.
I want my own because I know and understand that my mother won’t be around for me physically for the rest of my life, and yes, I have siblings. Still, as much as I love them and they love me, no matter how much of a bitch I am, I need something of mine.
I need to do it now while she is still alive and can see it for herself, but even though I need help with everyday living, I can live on my own because I can handle my own business.
I don’t want to do it after she’s gone. I need it, and I want it now.
I know her biggest fear when she is no longer with me is that no one will take care of me the way she does.
She’s right; nobody will take care of me the way she does, but she needs to understand that with her or without her, I have to get my life, and the only way I can do that is by breaking free.
I’m taking a step out in the real world without her.
If, in the end, it is a mistake, so be it, but it’s my mistake to make; she can’t protect me and will save me forever.
So I need to learn how to do those things for myself.
It’s a shame that we are going into 2022, and we still have to fight to be seen and heard as human begins.
I have been fighting for the last 40 years to find a space in this world where I can feel like myself.
There is only one place where I feel like myself: on my blog site where I feel at home with myself.
My blog site is not the only place where I try to share myself or inspire others with my words or how I try to overcome my many limitations.
I am sad to say, or maybe I am not sorry that those other platforms are not ready for people who might look or sound different from ordinary able body people.
The public had always made me feel like I have been ashamed of my disability because when I started using these platforms, I would never show myself in my wheelchair.
I wanted the world to read about my journey throughout life without showing pity to the girl in the wheelchair. I get enough of that when I am out public.
The world becomes even amazed when they see I could date.
One of my favorite lines that I come across is I am too beautiful to be in a wheelchair. What the fuck does that mean?
It’s incredible what happens between two people when there’s no real conversation. It’s taking me 14 to 15 years to realize this person will never be my person because of my unruly mistake.
I mistake I regret every day of my life, and I punish myself for every single day because instead of living my happily ever after, I’m still looking and wondering if that could’ve been with him.
I don’t know if my final words to him were that anger or out of pure frustration because I’ve prayed for a very long time to God to bring him back into my life.
I guess God finally got tired of hearing my prayers that he brought about, but the only thing is that it wasn’t the same, and I understand it never be the same.
So I don’t know what I was hoping for when he came back into my life, or maybe I know what I was hoping for, and I am 100% disappointed but not surprised how things came about.
The light finally went off in my soul no matter how sorry I may be or how much I believe I’ve changed; he will never have the ability to see that because he hasn’t been able to forgive me for my biggest mistake and my biggest regret ever in life.
I know I was the one that changed the course of both of our lives, but I never thought that things could not get better one day; I wasn’t asking for the same item or the same person; I was asking for an opportunity. End up with me to show my growth as a person and a woman, but he always knew that the chance would never come.
So I stayed around because I’m a firm believer that only the strong survive, and I’ve always considered myself a strong person, so I thought, and I believed that one day that he slowly open and allow me in some ways.
I’m not worthy of him loving me the way he was dead, but I am worthy of him trying to forgive me so we can figure how to move forward without forgetting where we came from because, in life, you can’t move forward if you don’t know where you came from.
He and I went from a very dark place in our lives, but we both became strong people because of where we were and what happened to make us the strong people we are today.
I need to have this conversation because if I don’t, I will continue to feel like I’m losing my mind.
This conversation should’ve happened years ago, but it’s better late than never. I guess I love someone who doesn’t love me.
Even though I know and I’ve heard that he no longer loves me, I still hold out hope that one-day things will turn around, but the reality is that will never happen.
It will never happen because of my childish mistake of not speaking and not long other to know how I was feeling or what I was missing, what I needed for that matter.
We had our chance to build our life together to build our futures as one. Still, I threw it all away without a second thought, so how dare I now, after so many years, ask for a chance I know I don’t deserve because I threw it away when I had it.
Now that I don’t have it, I know I don’t deserve it as Contradiction as that sounds it’s the truth in my heart of hearts; I know I don’t deserve that chance because not only did I embarrass myself, I destroyed us what should’ve been us forever.
Even though I’ve come to terms with the fact that we will never be the heart wants what it wants, and that’s what I struggle with is my heart.
My heart is still in twine into his because he feels like the home he knows me I can finish my sentence. He knows how I think before I know how I feel.
I know and understand that by everything I’m putting down on this piece of paper, people might think or feel like I don’t love myself because I’m holding on to someone who doesn’t love me the same way I love them. But I do love myself because I do comprehend that he will never love me the way that I love him.
I also understand that I deserve better and that I should let him go because I deserve happiness, and I will never get true happiness if I hold on to something that is not worthy of me.
Understanding all the things that I know, how can I still hold on to him if my life depended on him. In all honesty, I believe there’s something much more substantial than him and I that wall letting us part ways from each other or let me speak for myself won’t allow me to part ways from him; I have no clue what that might be.
I’m pissed off because I am a disabled woman. I’ve been disabled all my life, so it’s nothing new. However, as disabled people, we all get labeled with different categories: lazy, unworthy, worthless, and unmotivated.
My disability has given me so many physical limitations did that’s why I am so determined to make something of my life because physically, there’s only so much I can do.
So I don’t want to seem lazy or motivated to do things with my life. I am motivated to break all the world’s stigma on the disabled community as far as being lazy, unmotivated, unworthy, unloved, unwanted, and undesired.
I continue to blog because I have something to say; it is totally up to the world whether people want to listen or not. I’m not going to stop doing what I want to do or what I feel I should be doing with my life.
The world will always find ways to tear people down, especially people like myself. We’re not supposed to be seen or heard, and w I realize that I need to have tough skin to continue doing all the things I’m doing to better my life, not only better my life, but I have something to I can
fall back on like blogging.
I have always understood that we cannot choose who will be a part of our family or make up our family; we have to accept the way they are because that’s life.
So I’ve always played this vital role in life as nothing bothered me, but in reality, the fact that I’m a joke to those who have the same bloodline running through me.
I feel like instead of being a joke to them or the world, I should be a motivation for those who can’t find their way through life.
What to do with their life; at least, I know that my wording sometimes might be Messed up when I blog, but I’m doing something that I love and have a passion.
I’m not trying to become famous; I want to share a piece of me with the world, whoever is willing to accept it.
It’s your birthday today. I know would like to be wishing you a happy birthday
It’s been three years since you’ve been gone, and it has not gotten way easier to deal with you not being here.
Happy birthday. Thousand times over, happy birthday, I miss you like crazy one of my many wishes for you would be happiness and more love than you can handle.
I want to be selfish and have God grant me a wish of hearing your voice one last time, or I wish God could allow me to wish you a happy birthday in person.
I never saw you crumble; I never saw you come loose or lose it.
All I ever saw was a smiling face and a heart bigger than anyone could handle.
Some days are more complex than others, but the way I managed to get those harrowing days is by looking at pictures that you and I would constantly exchange every chance we would have to speak.
A simple picture does not do it; you should be here celebrating another year of life with everyone that loves you. But, instead, I had to light a candle and scream happy birthday, hoping that you would hear me.
I’m angry that you are not here.
I’m angry that I could not call you at midnight.
I’m angry that God blessed me with the chance to see my 40th, but it was super easy to rob someone more deserving than myself away from that opportunity of hitting such a milestone.
I know if you are not in the physical world with all of us. Heaven will be the place to celebrate one of God’s top angels. So all I can ask for is that you do it big.
While we are resting, hold on to your memories and love. Happy Birthday, Big Head. Miss you so much
I thought this would be a simple piece for me to write because I’m so used to putting my feelings on paper.
It’s not as simple as I thought it would be because researching to give people some knowledge on cancer has been around for years. People don’t realize that cancer has many different faces and has many different ages.
As I’m putting this piece together, I’m frustrated simply because all my research has been on children who have to live with different types of cancers, a battle for their lives, and hope and pray that they make it into adulthood.
As a family, how can we explain to any child that they are up against the biggest battle of their life, cancer? Of course, as children, they should not worry about something like cancer, but that’s not the reality for many children.
Cancer has been silent for many of them; that’s why a place like Saint Jude exists because we know our children need a niche that is going to be home away from home. It’s not just a hospital; it becomes a home away from home.
So how do we prepare any child to fight to have an everyday life? If it’s difficult for an adult to understand and battle cancer. I could imagine what a child would feel like when adults explain that they need to become like a superhero to overcome everything thrown at them.
Is Five-year-old fighting for their life is normal to me? And the answer is simply no; they should be out and about just being kids and not having to worry about fighting for their lives.
Saint Jude’s is a place away from home. They tell you constantly there is a place away from home; they don’t turn anybody away. But, they’re willing to fight with you and for you as long as you give them something to fight.
Everybody in the world has different battles, and we all fight them differently, but when it comes to kids, it’s hard. It’s more than complex. It’s unbearable to see them go through what they need to go through so they can have a chance to live.
It’s a place like Saint Judes that gives them that chance to fight for their lives and live for themselves and no one else and gives their families a sense of hope.
Saint Jude is that second family that everyone becomes a part of with no fear of being turned away. Saint Jude is that place that breaks their back to fight long aside with the families and tries to give them a sense of hope. Many of these families lose hope because sometimes it is difficult to adjust to their new normal. The new normal for those families is to become brave soldiers; they find new ways of treating and become less scary for a child.
The best part of saint Jude hospital is how far in being one of the best leading cancer research hospitals. The most important thing for everyone involved is to give every child a fighting chance to live.
Everything that is obtained for research is to help each child to become brave soldiers during their battle. The scary part about all of this is that the most terrifying is all the stories. I have encountered different children. Who are even too young to grasp what is genuinely happening to them entirely.
The main conclusion is that I no longer have the right to feel sorry for myself or my physical limitations because all these kids don’t ask why me or how? When people stop being consumed with myself and things that don’t matter. People would realize that there is so much more in the world, especially these kids who have every right to complain but don’t they greet with a smile? Instead of us making them feel better, they find a way to make us feel better.
Life is about being selfish. I believe this is when we should be selfish and give our future generation a chance to live an everyday life free of any disease taking over their bodies.
Teachable moments happen every day, and it’s up to us if we accept them at teachable moments in our lives.
Life is full of teachable lessons, and it’s up to us what we take away from those lessons that life is trying to teach us.
For example, one of the biggest lessons that life teaches us is that not everyone is perfect imperfection is what makes people.
It makes us different from each other and makes us accept our differences to love each other and learn from each other.
One of the most important lessons life can teach all of us is that we can learn from each other and each other’s mistakes and grow and make sure that whatever we learn from each other, we continue to pass it on as knowledge to others.
Another lesson Life has educated me is that love is about pain and growth because we almost go through some discomfort when it comes to love to grow as a person and grow as a unit.
Love is also about making mistakes and learning how to forgive, not forget, but we will use love’s pain as educated moments in life and make sure we don’t make the same mistake twice.
The tricky part about saying I’m sorry is that many people use it as a Band-Aid to cover off their mistakes, and once the Band-Aid is ripped off, the error repeats itself.
If people value the word, I’m sorry, people will never commit to making the same mistake repeatedly, but it uses it as a tool for growth and education.
It’s more about how I feel when I don’t talk to him.
I couldn’t even imagine not speaking to him for as long as we did not. I guess what made it a little easier when we were not talking was that we were heavily involved in different relationships, and I wanted to move forward with my life. Even though I knew that I could never be with anyone else, that was not him.
Anyone asks me if I have a legit reason to stay away from him, my answer would have been yes, but I don’t because my heart would no longer beat if he weren’t around.
Despite all our back and forth, I can’t, or should I say, I don’t want to see myself doing life without him for two reasons I feel at home when he’s around.
He can finish my thoughts without me speaking to him, and everyone in the world looks for someone who can look at the other person know what the other person is thinking or feeling without saying, and that’s what I have with him.
He is everything I wanted, but I’m a grown-ass woman, and I have to take responsibility for why he and I are no longer together.
I always knew how to a bottle of my feelings. Then exploded with no return, and that’s what happened to me.
I could never be as transparent with him as I am today. I was scared of losing him, so I just kept playing as superwoman while on the inside; I was dying, and I was falling apart, but I couldn’t share it with my partner because I didn’t want to seem weak, incapable of being with him.
So I kept my feelings and my emotions to myself. Until the disastrous nightmare of me exploring, I was finally letting everything out.
It wasn’t the right time or the right place, but I didn’t know how to contain myself anymore.
That was going to be someone that I would spend the rest of my life with and that I was going to build a family, but I couldn’t tell him all I felt until I exploded.
I can imagine people reading this would be so confused about building a family with whom I couldn’t communicate my feelings.
Still, I’ve always been the type of person never to share my feelings or thoughts because I’ve always felt that no one is interested in knowing how I think, so whatever I might be going through, I keep it to myself.
I know my last statement will confuse the shit out of people because how could I not speak my feelings verbally, but I could write my feelings out on a public blog site with no problems, no fear of judgment.
My life has always been filled with contradictions, and I guess this is one of them because I don’t want to bother people with my feelings, but I don’t mind sharing my thoughts on a public blogs site.
Where strangers judge me on everything that comes out of my mouth because it’s not always perfect, but my feelings are shared.
One mistake changes my life for the rest of my life. My life has never been the same because I’ve never allowed myself to feel what I feel for him for anybody else. After all, he means that much to me.
I prayed that one day he would come back into my life and forgive me but never forget what I did, and in some way, we could start from scratch because that’s something my heart always desired.
My prayer came accurate after 15 years, but we haven’t started from scratch because his heart doesn’t want me. His soul belongs to someone else, and I’m not worthy of him forgiving me for what I did. But I also can’t keep punishing myself for something that happened 15 years ago every day, but he tells me he loves someone else. So it’s like punishing me because all I want to do is be with him no matter what he says.
I wish he could love me or at least allow us a second chance, but as I said in the previous lines before, I know I’m not worthy of him giving me a second look at me differently just because we’re older now.
Even though he doesn’t see the difference in me, I’ve been able to change because we can talk about things, and we have been able to be transparent as we want to be with each other without worrying about who’s feelings will get hurt.
Yes, I still have a mouth on me, and my mouth still finds ways of getting me in trouble, and it’s true that when it comes to change, I do it in my own time. But, if someone else wants me to do it, I feel prepared to make those changes for myself and not anybody else.
There are many things I am grateful for one of the main things I’m thankful for is my family; even though sometimes I feel like I don’t fit in well, I don’t belong, but I am grateful for them.
I’m also internally grateful foR the mother I have and that she is still around for me to enjoy her even though we don’t have the best relationship because she refuses to see me as an adult. I owe her my entire life because she gave up hers so I could have a chance.
I am also grateful to have entered this new chapter in my life, chapter 40 of my life because Many of my friends and people I know never made it to be 40, so I’m very blessed and grateful to say that I’m 40 years old. I want to continue to live my life to the fullest with no regrets and not be unapologetic for anything that I’ve done or anything I might do for the rest of my life.
I’m also grateful that I was able to close the door in a chapter in my life that wasn’t good for me but closing that door, it’s also allowing me to get to know myself and realize that I should no longer settle for less or more. Finally, I am grateful that I’m a woman, and I’m strong, independent, and learning a little more about myself; one of the things I’m learning about myself is how to love myself before anyone else can love me. The last thing I’m grateful for might seems stupid to the world or to whoever might be reading this. Still, I am thankful that I didn’t give up on writing. My ability to share my stories and my life, whether perfect or imperfect writing people, has shown me a lot of love and admiration, so I’m grateful for those who have supported me throughout this journey of wanting to write. I need to write. So, in other words, thank you for allowing me to be imperfect with my writing but also allowing me to grow and show that I’m not perfect and neither is my writing, but either way, you guys are willing to support and love me just the way I am so thank you.
I breathe to stay alive. Every breath I take comes with unbearable pain, not only because my body is breaking down but also because I’m broken.
I am trying to piece myself together to become one again or at least feel like I can be one again when that time comes for me to be one.
I breathe to stay alive, but I also live because of him. I come first, of course, but something about him makes me want to take that first breath in the morning. Even if later on, I’m asking myself why I am doing this myself when I know what I know When it comes to him.
I need to love myself a little bit more. But, I can only do that by realizing that I need to let him go as much as I love him.
I’ve always been scared to let him go because he’s such a big part of my heart, but now I understand that for me to love myself, I have to be able to say goodbye now because I want to but because I have to. I have to find myself without him even though I know how my life is without him, but I can’t keep holding on to all of that doesn’t want me just because I like it.
Love is strength.
Loves is faith.
Love is loving yourself and understanding; that no one can give me my worth.
Love you telling the truth even when you don’t want to hear it.
Love is loving the imperfections we all have and not trying to change who we are just because love is in the air.
When will love not that your door is full of pain and magic?
If you can’t feel pain, that means you have not experienced real love. The love with pain is worth it because it’s awful beautiful, magical, incredible root word rewarding when we can find the one. It
Being the one is being the one you can’t live without.
Being the one, you can’t breathe without.
Being the one is knowing that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with that one. You’re ready to wake up every morning to the same face as long as both of you have a love for each other.
Being the one is being strong, knowing that not everything will be perfect, but it’s going to be accurate, and we’re going through it together.
You are theone who’s been willing to know that everyone comes with imperfections and does not mean rejection. What it means is acceptance for precisely who you are and what you are.
It is being the one who understands that everyone is going to have an opinion.
Being the one is having the strength within yourself to know and understand the love has its ups and downs, but through the rough water’s that any relationship goes through, both parties should not have the ability to walk away until everything is a workout. So we end up saying, I love you.
Writing has always been therapeutic because I can talk myself through my words, feelings, and emotions.
There’s another way I’ve been able to find myself, and that’s being transparent with my heart and what that means is acknowledging the fact that the reason I am in the headspace that I’m in is that I am a serious fuck up.
It’s taken me a long time to realize that I should’ve cherished everything I had instead of throwing it away like I did not mean anything when it meant the world to me. But, of course, when I would say that it meant the world to me, I had no idea how much it would mean until it was no longer a part of me. I’ve always asked one man to know they had a good when it’s gone, and I think now I understand more.
I am a woman who struggles to admit her wrongs, but it’s better late than never, even though I can’t look back to Right wrongs.
I did do something that I could never come back from.
I shouldn’t be able to come back because I don’t deserve it. When I had it, I had no idea how to cherish it and make it my priority—so living the rest of my life alone but coming to terms with the fact that no one should ever bottle up your feelings It’s something that I took away from that situation.
I am a woman who has to learn that it’s OK to be vulnerable.
As long as you’re weak with the right person, I should never allow my feelings to eat away at me or assume that people will guess how I’m feeling just by looking at me or staring at me; life doesn’t work that way.
If I don’t try to speak up or speak my mind, nothing will get resolved. Something I learned is that I should never ask for something that I was not prepared to deal.
Yes True that people say things out of anger but in the long run, that anger could come back and haunt you for the rest of your life because you know you made a mistake that you can’t fix even though you’re desperate to fix it.
So ask for what you want to leave the things you don’t wish to alone because you might find this of always asking yourself why?
However, I have never been quite sure what his goal has been since I was born.
The only thing I have been sure of is having that gift of sharing my story on my blog and showing the rest of the world that the disabled community has a story to tell, and no one else doesn’t know our stories and struggles better than the ones who live it.
The world wants to believe that we should be put away or don’t want to better for ourselves because we already have so many limitations to who we are. My boundaries have made me strive for the best because the world doesn’t accept me to want the best for myself.
Self-love is essential because the only way we can learn about self-respect.
Rejection is a part of life, and as people, we have choices; one of the choices we have is to take the rejection for what it is and not do anything but continue to feel like a rejection.
Or use the worse feeling ever in the world and turn it into a positive note.
Positive means that everyone does fall it is about how we choose to pick ourselves back and make decisions for ourselves.
Throughout my journey of finding out who I am as a single person, I realize that I’m better off alone than with someone who will break me down with their negative.
I also have to own for never learning about letting go of wanting to let go. Sometimes is more a lot for others to let go of than it is for me. I have no clue why it’s so tricky to let go when I feel like people have no problem throwing me away as trash.
Letting go is difficult but not feeling worthy is more debilitating to my soul.
I have no clue why I decided on 11/16/21 to write him a love letter, but I am guessing there is no wrong time to write a letter to someone you saw forever.
Love hurts like hell because you have the strength in oneself to open your heart up and allow that other half in. But, unfortunately, everyone always speaks on the beautiful sides of love when it comes to love, but no one ever speaks on the struggles it is to get to those beautiful sides of love.
Everything that was once ugly can and will become beautiful because as long as we take it upon ourselves, nurture and give it everlasting love. When I think of love, I think of home.
He was able to add things to my life that I did not have until he came long, such as believing in me and pushing me to heights. Falling in love was crazy because all I ever saw and was him. Every day we challenge ourselves and the relationship until one day, I took it too far to the point of no return. No return never meant I deserved it because everything changed in seconds of our lives, and when coming upon change, it should be for positivity, but the difference was far from positive.
It was life-changing in a sense; I was empty, and I hit some crazy bumps on looking for something I already had but had no idea what I had until he was gone. Things never made sense to me after he was because I never wanted to leave. When he left, I took a considerable part of who I was with him.
This letter is on how to destroy someone whose hearts I can’t take back in any way, but if someone could grant me my last wish, I would be so simple that it is a do-over, just that one nightmare. It’s been 14 to almost 15 years since the last time we were together as a couple, and I am still in love with him. But, I guess the most amazing part is that holding to this love seems to damage people, and it also makes me look like I am strong enough to let of a love that doesn’t want me the same but holding like if I could do better for when I know can.
Even though I can do better, I feel I am better because he could go through all the bullshit with him. I never had to speak because I always knew what I was thinking and feeling just by one look. While I was trying to be the perfect person for him, everything was falling apart around, and I could not stop. I understand if I allowed myself to be loved by just being myself, we would have gone the distance. If he asked me to be his wife, I would do it again without a second.
I‘m not worthy of him or him loving me, but I secretly pray for him to find someone to see him the way I see him and love him unconditionally because everyone is worthy of knowing that feeling.
I was lucky and blessed to experience our kind of love, the type of that that took me by surprise because we were going to be nothing but friends. Love surprised us and guided us through another pathway that only allowed us to see each other and no one else. The best part about the love we once shared was that I always knew he was my person.
Now that I no longer have you, I wish I could have used my time the right way. At this point, what would have been the right way to spend our time together. Time with you seemed like quicksand; it seemed like no matter how many memories you and I tried to build, time was against us.
I am missing you more every day. Wishing and hope we could have had more. I love you. More time to be your forever, and you be mine forever. Now what keeps me going is knowing that one day we will finally be each other forever.
I am not the best writer in the world, and I’m not trying to be.
When I decided to pick up and pen and put it to paper, I knew that I was going to be sharing my imperfection through writing as far as my grammar is concerned, and I have been okay with that because no matter how I choose to share my story it’s going to be in my style.
It might not always be written the correct format, but at least I am doing something I am passionate about.
So many people enjoy reading about the different chapters in life and the different relationships I have had through life.
If I have to be honest, I am torn in placing blogs under construction to have someone look over the pieces of my life and make them look readable and perfect.
I am far from being perfect; my imperfections give me the ability to write as roar as I need to be to connect and share myself with the world.
My imperfection has gotten me this far, as well as the readers that choose my blog to follow.
My heart is in a million pieces, but it’s no one else fault but my own. I need to detach my heart from feeling anything that could be hurting me, like love is pulling me.
If people don’t allow themselves to go through pain, there is no growth within ourselves as humans.
Pain has been a part of me since birth, so people would think how much more pain I would need to continue growing within myself.
I would love to believe that my heart pain has taught me that I need to be selfish with myself and my time.
The pain teaches me how to have a better relationship before dreaming up any future relationship with anyone. The pain in my heart has also taught me how crazy strong I am to keep believing in love.
Keep love in my heart because if I don’t, that means in some ways I won’t love myself enough to know that most important person I must love myself.
I’ve always been the first to apologize for how my heart feels. But there’s nothing to apologize for this time around. My heart has always known whether I excepted or not where I would like to be, even though I have never come close to being there. I’m in love, and I fear being in love because there are two types of love you could be in love with the person; you could be in love with the idea of being in love with someone.
I’m someone who does not only want to be in love with the idea of being in love; most importantly, I deserve to be in love with someone.
So I sincerely hope that I’m not falling in love with the idea of being in love with someone hope and pray that I’m in love with the person and that the idea of being in love with someone.
It troubles my soul when people tell me that there’s a part of life like I don’t know how the circle of life revolves.
I understand that living isn’t forever then; for this world to continue, we need to continue procreating new life to keep going, but that does not make it easier when you lose someone you care about. None of us was born with the skill to say goodbye to someone we love or care about as a person, but it’s something that we often do; the most upsetting part to me is why we should have to say goodbye and why can’t we say see you later.
I believe that those who have passed on, no matter how heartbroken we are because they left us behind to deal with the pain and grief. Not having them a part of our lives anymore, we will see them again better than ever and with more energy than they had when they were here in the physical world with us.
Course, we don’t want to believe it or understand it because we’re still under so much grief in so much pain. But, as the suffering gets somewhat better, it doesn’t go away; we have to believe that they are better off, keeping a better eye on us from wherever they are in the heavens.
Yes, I would love to say they’re better here in the physical world with us because at least we’re able to see them talk to them and touch them to let them know we’re here for them. But, still, I don’t want to see any of them in pain, suffering, asking themselves when is the time coming so they could get out of their misery of everyday pain and not being able to live a whole life because of something holding them back.
The only thing that gives my heart peace is knowing that the ones I’ve lost are no longer in pain or wondering when the time will come where they don’t have to feel any more pain or depend on anyone to help them manage themselves. But it hurts not to have them here with me to see them here in the voice, even though I can hear the voice inside my heart. Although, of course, I can feel them when I know I know and understand they’re always with me no matter what, but that does not take away that I need them here in the physical world with me, so I don’t feel so alone.
Call me bipolar because my emotions have a way of going up and down, or sometimes I find ways of going back and forth on my feelings like a scared little girl. Yes, I am 40 years, but I have the right to be afraid because I have not had control of my emotions.
UPS AND DOWN EMOTIONS BACK FORTH LOVING HATING INCOMPLETE LONELY
IF THINGS MAKE ME BIPOLAR, THEN I HAVE BEEN BIPOLAR ALL MY LIFE, AND I AM GOING TO OWN IT. I HAVE MADE MISTAKES IN LIFE, AND I AM STILL A MAKING PROCESS WHICH I AM STILL GOING TO HAVE SOME BUMPS ON THE ROAD.
So I AM GOING TO EVER BE COOKIE-CUTTER PERFECT. I AM ALSO NOT GOING TO ALLOW ANYONE TO HOLD MY MISTAKES OVER MY HEAD.
I CARRY MY MISTAKES AND THE PAIN OF MY MISTAKES EVERY DAY.
THE ONLY THING I HAVE BEEN CONSTAN ON IS WHEN I CHOOSE TO LOVE, I LOVE HARD, AND I ALWAYS KNEW WHO I HAVE LOVED NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME HAS GONE BY. EVEN THOUGH WE BOTH LIVE SEPARATE LIVES.
No one would ever have to say they deserve better if they understood that beginning better is within themselves. Saying I deserve better sounds great, but how can we get better when we have no clue what better can be for us. The searching process of getting better begins with us, but a lot of us believe when we say we want better for ourselves, it means that our better should come from someone because we always rely on someone for everything that has to do with emotions.
Honestly, better does not happen overnight; we have to go through a strict checklist of things that would help us deserve better. Searching for in my 40s has led me to understand that it starts with me and ends with me. Better I now and forever is being able to live for myself and understand that the world is going to have an opinion on everything the job I have is to live my life. The other part of me deserving better is being strong enough to be selfish with myself and my time. Deserving better is understanding that I win every moment I wake up because I have been blessed with another day. Deserving better is understanding that as long as we don’t give our power away, no one can or should break who we are.
I’m good. I’m OK. I”m fine. I am happy. A smile so no one wonders about my unwanted tears in my eyes constantly crying every night because I fear to say I’m not OK because in society says it’s not okay to say it’s not okay Please don’t make it OK within ourselves to say we’re not OK, so that’s why when people ask, are you OK? The quickest response we can say is yes; I’m OK even while the world around me is caving in, and I’m looking for a way out of me not being OK. Mine not being OK has nothing to do with people; it has to do with me and maybe not strong enough to say I’m not OK, But here now I’m permitting myself to say I’m not OK so anyone finds some self not being OK it’s OK not to be OK what’s wrong is not saying I’m not OK.
I miss you. I’m jealous that I can’t see you or touch you. I wish you were here so I could share the good and the bad things with you. It would be best to be here because I need you, and I want you here with me. It would be best if you were here, so I don’t feel so alone in this cold world that you decided to leave me in because you had to go. I don’t care if I sound selfish by saying you should be here to hear your voice telling me everything will be all right, but I have to trust in myself, and everything else will follow. You should be here so my heart doesn’t feel so incomplete. It would be best to be here because I want to be selfish and have you all to myself.
It’s easier to give in to those things that come more accessible than work for the things we want. Personally feel that if we do not work for the things that we want those things that we want in our lives, we lose value because we didn’t do anything to give it worth for us to have. To give something we want value or worth, we must work it to the core and make sure that we pour everything within ourselves into the thing we want the most. So we may watch it grow and expand into something beautiful and something untouchable by others. If everything is handed to us, how will we ever learn the value of a genuine diamond when it’s given to us, and we have done nothing to earn it or cherish it.
I did not understand your value as a person and mother until I no longer had you to fight with or talk to. I just saw you as someone who always tried to define who I should be and what I should be in life instead of accepting me for who I was and loving me as your loving daughter. Now that you’re no longer here in the physical world with me, all I desire is a simple argument or just a simple I love you to make my pain just a little bit better. I wish my heart and heart could and should be on the same page, but sadly, they’re not. My head understands that pain is a part of everyone growing pain, but the heart struggles to understand why you and why pain needs to be a part of my growing pain. I feel like if I had allowed myself more time with you, we could have learned so much from each other. I feel right now that I blink and open up my eyes, and I am saying bye.
We love to play the blame a lot of time when we say that people stand in our way to get where we went to be.
It might be true in many cases, but in many more cases, it is just predictive of our failure Before we try to succeed or fail.
By using the word, the can’t way before saying I can to my future.
When we use the word, we can open our worlds to endless possibilities of the things that, in many ways, people see as impossible, but we see as possible because we are using the word we can instead of can’t.
I should not be just an option. I should be that first choice. I should be your first thought in the morning. I should add to your last thought of the day. I should see the reason why you decide to smile when you do smile. I should be the reason why you feel complete as a person. I should be the reason you understand the true meaning of love.
I should be for you all the things I should be for myself before I ask you to be any of those things for me.
She is trying to find the answers to many unanswered questions, but she doesn’t know where to begin or where it will end. She understands that heart Wants what it wants while everybody else is praying for her sanity and peace of mind.
Given the best of herself, it has made it quite challenging for her to see or feel like she could become whole again.
The secret for anyone to find answers to questions they feel they might never get the answers to it’s called soul-searching. We have to be willing to sit with ourselves in silence, listen to ourselves, and listen to our souls.
It’s a significant transition for me to think about these words when it comes to describing my relationship with my mom.
I can’t pinpoint what has made me feel these words come true honestly, and I’m grateful to know that it hasn’t been too late for us to learn how to explore our mother’s daughter’s friendship.
Our relationship has never been perfect; it’s been a relationship, but it’s been a difficult one because we both struggle to see each other and each other’s roles.
Having the ability to open up has allowed me to see the possibilities of a mother-and-daughter relationship. Not just a mother is her daughter’s caregiver, But a real mother-daughter relationship.
It’s a milestone I never thought I would see because I had many odds against me that would say that I would not make it this far.
Turning 40 will be a turning point in my life not to care about what others might say about me. Regardless of what age I become, people are always going to have something to say about me.
Turning 40 will be about me living the life I have always wanted to live for myself but have been terrified to live because the world I live in says I can’t live a productive the way I would like because I am disabled.
Turning 40 has been a turning page for me because I am a lot happier with the person I am becoming, and having time alone with myself has been the best medicine in the world.
Time alone has allowed me to see my true blessings in life. One of my biggest blessings is the ongoing relationship I am having with myself and how strong I am beginning to feel again.
Tough skin.
I am not living for others.
I am building myself and my dreams.
I do not feel like the world is on my shoulders.
I am feeling at peace with myself.
The best part of this whole process is able to laugh at me with me.
A woman is not a toy; she is a gift. A woman is not a game; she is a blessing. A woman is not weak; she is strong. A woman isn’t a bitch; she is a boss. A woman is not toxic; she is hurting from a broken heart. A woman is not afraid to teach, but she is also not afraid to learn. A woman is A warrior.
We have to be our cheerleaders in life. Yes, it is excellent when people support us in any way possible, but what happens when that is not the hand we are in. Self-motivation goes a long way, and it also teaches us there is no better support than the one we can give to ourselves. When we are self-motivated, we minus the number of disappointments from people. Self-motivation is also a sign of growth and not caring what the world might be thinking about us. The fighter in us gives us the self-motivation that people can’t see themselves giving back. Ms. Butterfly Genesis
In a world dominated by men, it’s difficult for a woman to be seen as more than just a housewife. We live in 2021, and we struggle to be seen as more than just mother’s housewives. The best job women have is the job to have the ability to bring another life into the world, but I would love for us as women to be seen more than give us life. I would love to be looked at as an entrepreneur versus an independent woman. But, unfortunately, it’s hard to break those stereotypes when men dominate the business world. During this pandemic, I have learned that if I want something, I have to go for exactly what I want and not allow anyone’s opinion or ignorant thought about me to phase me in any way of becoming A part of the workforce. If we want to be seen as businesswomen or just women in general, we have to stamp on the world to let the world know that we are women and we are here to stay no matter what. The only way I believe we’re going to be seen is when we start knocking down doors and showing ourselves and the rest of the world that we belong and are more than just housewife freaks in the streets and mothers. Let’s not wait for anyone to permit us to become businesswoman entrepreneurs; we need to take control and demand What we want and what we deserve.
If the layers of my skin are the only thing people can force on, then it’s a strong possibility that people are not looking at me with the right eyes.
My skin is what covers my body. My skin is very much and proudly of the Dominican decedent with some American afro blood running through my veins. Don’t fear my skin.
Fear my intelligence. Fear my strength with words and not with weapons. Fear thy unknown parts, not because of my skin color but because I understand right from wrong. The wrongdoing is judging anyone on skin color. The right thing is to become color blind and allow people to reveal who they are without color. Ms. Butterfly Genesis 🇩🇴
Women have always felt like we should be seen but never heard because this is a man’s world. As a woman, there was a point where it was easier for us to believe that it’s always better to be seen & never heard. As women, we are not supposed to have a voice because having a perspective is finding our own opinions.
Today woman are Strength Independence Smart Sexually beings. Hard-working Today women have their voice & their own opinions so that no man could speak for any woman. MS. Butterfly Genesis 🇩🇴
The Memoir Of Ms. Butterfly 