The Becoming Of Ms. Butterfly Genesis

I used to think consistency meant perfection.

I thought it meant showing up the same way every day.
Having everything together.
Always being the best version of myself.

And because I couldn’t be that…
I convinced myself that I just wasn’t consistent.

But the truth is, I didn’t understand what consistency really was.

I didn’t know how to show up for myself,
so I couldn’t show up for anything else either.

Not in my relationships.
Not in my emotions.
Not even in my own life.

I would tell myself I was trying,
but in reality, I was avoiding.

Avoiding honesty.
Avoiding confrontation.
Avoiding the parts of myself I didn’t want to face.

And when I lied to myself…
I was lying to everyone else too.

Especially in the moments where I should have spoken up,
but chose to stay quiet just to keep the peace.

At the time, I thought that was love.

I thought love meant holding things together,
even when they were falling apart.

I thought love meant sacrificing parts of myself
just to make something last.

But now I see it differently.

Consistency isn’t about perfection.

It’s about presence.

It’s about showing up as you are,
even when you’re not at your best.

Even when you’re tired.
Even when you’re unsure.
Even when you don’t feel like you have it all figured out.

Consistency is being willing to face yourself
instead of running from yourself.

And for a long time, I ran.

Not because I didn’t care…
but because I didn’t know how to stay.

Now I do.

Now I understand that showing up doesn’t mean I have to be the same every day.

Some days I’m strong.
Some days I’m quiet.
Some days I’m still figuring things out.

But I show up anyway.

And that’s what changed everything for me.

Because once I learned how to show up for myself,
I stopped expecting other people to do it for me.

I stopped blaming.
I stopped avoiding.
I stopped pretending.

And I started taking accountability.

Not in a way that tears me down,
but in a way that builds me up.

Now I can be honest without needing to be understood.

Now I can speak without feeling like my voice will cost me everything.

Now I can sit in my imperfections…
and not feel the need to hide them.

That’s what consistency gave me.

Not control.

Not perfection.

But freedom.

Freedom to be who I am,
as I am,
while I’m still becoming.

And the most important thing I’ve learned?

I don’t go back to what broke me.