There’s something I want to say out loud, even if the world doesn’t need to know every detail of it.

There is someone in my life I’ve loved for a very long time.

In a perfect world, I would love for him to be part of everything I’m building right now — every piece of my life that I’m putting back together. I would love for him to see the work I’m doing on myself, to witness the rebuilding, to be there while I continue growing, writing, creating, and building the studio that represents who I am becoming.

In a perfect world, he would stand beside me through all of it.

But we don’t live in a perfect world.

He is a man with obligations, responsibilities, and a life that requires his attention in ways that are bigger than both of us. Those responsibilities are important to him, and I would never ask him to turn away from them. They are part of his purpose, and purpose is something I respect deeply.

Yes, there is love between us. That much is real.

But love by itself doesn’t solve timing, life circumstances, or the paths people are walking.

So while that love exists, I’m still choosing something else at the same time.

I’m choosing myself.

I’m choosing the promises I made to myself when I decided it was time to rebuild my life.

I’m choosing my peace.

I’m choosing the work I’ve been doing to understand myself better and become a more grounded, more stable, more clear-minded version of the woman I am today.

That work matters to me.

The book I wrote matters to me.

The studio I’m building matters to me.

The life I’m reconstructing piece by piece matters to me.

And the truth is, the only person I am responsible for showing up for right now is me.

There’s a version of me that wants to tell the world about the love I still feel. There’s a version of me that wants everything to have a clear definition and a clear direction.

But there’s also a wiser version of me now.

A version that understands that not everything needs to be forced into a label. Not everything needs to be rushed. Some things simply exist in the space they occupy until life reveals what they are meant to become.

What matters most right now is that I continue the work I started.

Continuing to write.

Continuing to build.

Continuing to grow.

Continuing to honor the woman I promised myself I would become.

Because loving someone is one thing.

But loving yourself enough to stay focused on your growth, your peace, and your purpose — that is the real transformation.

And today, the person who deserves my love, my attention, and my time the most…

is me.

— Ms. Butterfly Genesis 🦋