The Memoir Of Ms. Butterfly

Though I cannot hear your voice or feel your embrace, my heart reaches out to you with every word I write. If only I could pick up the phone and hear your laughter again, it would fill the emptiness that echoes within me. Instead, I settle for this pen, pouring my soul onto paper, hoping to stay connected with you, even for a fleeting moment.

I know you see everything—every stumble, every tear, every triumph. You watch over us, even when the weight of it all might feel unbearable. But still, I want to tell you, just in case you ever feel like letting go. I miss you more than words can capture, and I know I’ve fallen short, often letting you down when I should have stood stronger. For that, I am sorry.

Life has been chaotic since you’ve been gone. Old habits crept back into my days, and I struggled to find footing. And yes, I’ve been told I’m a little crazy—but I’m working on it, honestly. I’m rebuilding myself, this time for me. I’m learning to close the lingering chapters left open for far too long, finding the courage to face what I once avoided.

I miss your laughter most of all—the way it lit up the room and reminded me of the love you held for your family. The babies are here now; your granddaughter would’ve been your joy. I wish you could be here to see how life has unfolded, dress her up in little outfits, and revel in the pride of our boys becoming the men you always knew they could be. I hope you can feel how much we love and honor you, even when we stumble.

Please continue to watch over us, pray for us, and guide us with your spirit. I promise to keep speaking to you in every way I can, holding onto the bond that time and space can never break.

**Amen.