The Memoir Of Ms. Butterfly

I had to make 1,000,001 mistakes to finally understand how strong I am and how worthy I am of who I am because of what I’ve been through in my life. I wouldn’t say I like giving people credit for helping me become who I am today, but who I am today is not who I was yesterday.
I always thought I felt like I needed a man to feel complete or to feel accomplished, but I don’t. I know that I don’t because, once upon a time, I was stripped away from everything I thought would find me as a person and partner. Still, I’m so far away from the person I was, and I’m even shocked to say I’m so proud of myself for coming as far as I’ve come.

It’s great when you have someone to share your life with, and you can have pillow talks at night with that person Because that’s supposed to be your person. Still, it’s also OK to be alone and discover who you are without someone, and who I am is someone powerful, very determined, very outgoing, willing to learn and make mistakes and admit to them when they get done. I’m not perfect.

I have a mouth. I struggle to ask for help because my disability makes me feel like a burden, so asking for help makes me feel like more of a burden. The last thing I want to do is be anyone’s burden, but I’ve learned throughout my journey that if you don’t ask for help, Things will fall apart because everyone needs help.

Everyone deserves help. There’s a difference between helping and handing everything to that person. You can help someone help themselves.

You don’t have to hand them everything for you to help them. I’ve learned that helping me doesn’t mean handling things. It means Just helping me by guiding me and giving me advice whether I ask for it why not. Through my journey of self discovery I’ve learned that I’m OK with myself.

I don’t always have to like myself, but I do have to be OK with myself and right now where I’m at in my life. I’m OK with my self because I know what it’s like to rely on myself and no one else.

At the beginning, it was overwhelming and it still can be overwhelming sometimes, but I have to keep reminding myself I can and I will do what I have to do for myself because if I don’t do it for myself, then there is no purpose to do what I want to do With myself all my life because I’m not doing it for the right reason.

Life should not be about pleasing others. Life should be about living the way I wanna live and discover and be fearless as I’m living the life. I want to live not the life.

Everybody else wants me to live. I’m not gonna lie. I know the reason why my family keeps me in a bubble Because if they’re willing to do things for me, I’m gonna allow them to do them for me not because I can’t do it myself, but because they’re willing to do it for me and that’s my mistake is allowing them to do things that I can do for myself.

That’s why they don’t believe in my independence from them because I’ve had them cater to me for 43 years and now that I’m trying to break free and I’m going to break free With God‘s will.
Ms. Butterfly GENESIS