The Memoir Of Ms. Butterfly

MY DESIRE TO SCREAM I PROMISE TO ANYONE WHO IS CRAZY ENOUGH TO READ THIS THAT MY DESIRE TO SCREAM IS A NEED AND JUST A WANT.

I NEED TO SCREAM BECAUSE IF I DON’T FIND THE STRENGTH WITHIN MYSELF TO DO SOMETHING I HAVE DENIED FOR YEARS BECAUSE OF THE FEAR OF NO ONE LISTENING TO ME.

I HAVE ALWAYS SAID NO ONE WILL EVER LISTEN TO MY ACHED HEART, BUT HOW DO I KNOW THAT WHEN I HAVE NEVER TRIED TO LEAVE MYSELF OPEN TO SAY WHAT I FEEL OR IF ANYONE IS SAYING SOMETHING, I AM NOT READY TO SHUT DOWN LIKE A LAPTOP OR AN IPAD.

HOW CAN I MAKE PROGRESS AS A PERSON WHO WANTS AND NEEDS TO LISTEN BETTER TO MOVE FORWARD IN LIFE? I AM CONSTANTLY CHOOSING TO CHECK OUT EVERY CHANCE I GET BECAUSE THAT’S ALWAYS BEEN THE EASIEST THING FOR ME. I DON’T WANT ANYONE READING THIS TO BELIEVE I LOVE HAVING THINGS HANDED TO ME. I WILL WORK FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE AND WANT IN MY LIFE.

WHEN IT COMES TO SHARING MY FEELINGS ON PAPER, I FEEL LIKE I DO GREAT EVEN THOUGH MY ENGLISH SOMETIMES MIGHT NOT BE ENGLISH TO PEOPLE WHO TRY AND READ MY FEELING BECAUSE THERE MIGHT BE WORDS MISSING OR A WHOLE ASS SENTENCE IS MISSING, SO IT THROWS THE PIECE OFF.

EVEN THOUGH THE WHOLE WORLD HAS TOLD ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO GIVE UP SOMETHING LIKE WRITING THAT I LOVE MORE

THAN ANYTHING ELSE THAT HAS BEEN A PART OF LIFE.

PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT TYPES OF LOVE LANGUAGES; MINE HAPPENS TO BE WRITING. I COULD AND WILL NOT SEE MYSELF HAVING ANOTHER LOVE LANGUAGE.

Ms. Butterfly Genesis