The Memoir Of Ms. Butterfly

I’ve said this in plenty of my other pieces. I am the type of person that needs to be liked by everyone and excepted by my family. 

Everything I have tried to do with my life is to get somebody’s approval or somebody with validation on who I am as a person.

 Coming into my 40s, I’m to the point where I’m tired of fighting and feeling like I need this person to like me, or I need my family to approve of the things I want to do with my life to feel like I have support.

 So here now, I don’t give a fuck if you like me; if you don’t like me, I don’t even care about them supporting me.

One of my biggest insecurities, and I’ve never said it publicly, is I always care about what people think about me and their perceptions of me.

I need to keep reminding myself every day of my life as long as I’m here at the People’s perception of me should not matter and should not validate the person I am and who I’m becoming.

I’ve always walked on eggshells with my family because they’re my source of caregiving; they are The Who dirty their hands, wiping my ass every day.

 So I should have some loyalty to them. But, in reality, just because they wipe my ass doesn’t mean that I have to agree with everything they try to throw at me, and that does not mean they have the right to belittle me as a person.

Just like my family should not have to put up with with myself disrespectful ass when I want to be a bitch coming out my mouth knowing that at the end of the day I’m going to need them.

My validation has become within myself and no one else I’m a grown ass woman despite the fact that someone always has to wipe my ass so with that being said the validation stands with me and then anyone else.

Ms. Butterfly Genesis 🇩🇴