The Memoir Of Ms. Butterfly

I have no clue why I decided on 11/16/21 to write him a love letter, but I am guessing there is no wrong time to write a letter to someone you saw forever.

Love hurts like hell because you have the strength in oneself to open your heart up and allow that other half in. But, unfortunately, everyone always speaks on the beautiful sides of love when it comes to love, but no one ever speaks on the struggles it is to get to those beautiful sides of love.

Everything that was once ugly can and will become beautiful because as long as we take it upon ourselves, nurture and give it everlasting love. When I think of love, I think of home.

He was able to add things to my life that I did not have until he came long, such as believing in me and pushing me to heights.
Falling in love was crazy because all I ever saw and was him.
Every day we challenge ourselves and the relationship until one day, I took it too far to the point of no return.
No return never meant I deserved it because everything changed in seconds of our lives, and when coming upon change, it should be for positivity, but the difference was far from positive.

It was life-changing in a sense; I was empty, and I hit some crazy bumps on looking for something I already had but had no idea what I had until he was gone. Things never made sense to me after he was because I never wanted to leave. When he left, I took a considerable part of who I was with him.

This letter is on how to destroy someone whose hearts I can’t take back in any way, but if someone could grant me my last wish, I would be so simple that it is a do-over, just that one nightmare.
It’s been 14 to almost 15 years since the last time we were together as a couple, and I am still in love with him. But, I guess the most amazing part is that holding to this love seems to damage people, and it also makes me look like I am strong enough to let of a love that doesn’t want me the same but holding like if I could do better for when I know can.

Even though I can do better, I feel I am better because he could go through all the bullshit with him. I never had to speak because I always knew what I was thinking and feeling just by one look. While I was trying to be the perfect person for him, everything was falling apart around, and I could not stop. I understand if I allowed myself to be loved by just being myself, we would have gone the distance.
If he asked me to be his wife, I would do it again without a second.

I‘m not worthy of him or him loving me, but I secretly pray for him to find someone to see him the way I see him and love him unconditionally because everyone is worthy of knowing that feeling.

I was lucky and blessed to experience our kind of love, the type of that that took me by surprise because we were going to be nothing but friends. Love surprised us and guided us through another pathway that only allowed us to see each other and no one else. The best part about the love we once shared was that I always knew he was my person.

Ms. Butterfly Genesis