The Memoir Of Ms. Butterfly

I don’t want to look back because that might be blurring my future.
I don’t want to look back because I leave the door to relive something ugly that never builds me up but was strong enough to break me down.

Looking back has left me questioning if I can see a future with my future person when I am busy holding on to a past that doesn’t want me.

I have always heard that if people can glaze at their history once in a blue, I would never appreciate the person who was supposed to be my future, but it can’t be because I’m stuck in my past.

How can I not be expected to look back when everything I choose to put myself through has made me the woman I am today, someone reliable, and won’t settle for anything less than what she deserves?

Holding on to my past has left a crazy taste in my future even worse; it has left my lot second-guessing myself if I could have been that person.
Honest to god, I believe that I could have been that person if I could have been truthful with myself and my future. But, instead, I struggle with accuracy and letting go because letting go no return is the biggest struggle because I have to deal with things that I have never wanted to deal with.

If I could be myself with my future, I could have had that unconditional love that everyone dreams of.

Ms. Butterfly Genesis