It’s natural to break someone’s heart.
The challenging part of dealing with someone who has been torn apart is knowing that you were The Who broke it.
I’m left wondering how I can make him whole again when I’m still struggling with putting myself back together because if he wants to take any responsibility for anything, I’m broken too.
I broke us by not being able to be transparent with him.
Being transparent means being vulnerable, and I hate being seen as a weak person; I have always been the one to protect my heart from any harm because no one knows better what my heart needs but for me.
I know honesty is the main focus of any relationship. I have always felt the absolute need for anyone to know about our past. My past defined if we would be in a relationship.
I don’t believe it would have, but I will never know because I could not and did not want to be that open book he wanted me to be.
I wanted to focus on the now and not the past.
I lied because I felt the need to protect myself.
By lying, I broke him, and I broke whatever future we could have.
I hope that he can be whole again with this time apart because no one deserves to be broke but love.