The Memoir Of Ms. Butterfly

Besides all the pain that my heart is feeling, I feel more alone with each day that keeps passing me by.

I am trapped in a place that has never felt like home to me because I am not myself and, I feel the need to be withdrawn from those who think to may know me.

I have no clue who I am. After all, I believe there are days I don’t even know myself because I have so many different struggles; it’s become harder to keep up with everyone and every battle.

My struggle is not everyone else’s struggle, but there are times I wish they could be so people could better understand me and give a moment of weakness without asking me and looking at me like an I should never have another weak moment in my life.

My struggles are and overlooked every day of my life and, they are I constantly struggle to be happy, so no one has the chance to ask me anything about looking sad or just not feeling a part of them.

The biggest struggle of them all is being stuck in a body that I hate. I wish for a different body every day of my life.

This body has been my prison for the last 30 years of my life because I depended on someone every day.

I know I should be grateful that I am alive even though I have been placed on living the rest of my life in a wheelchair, and, honestly, I am thankful and very thankful I am alive because I have a brain that works very well.

My brain has the power that my legs will never have.

The biggest struggle I carry within me is seeing a prominent person who should not be around other humans who do not look at me every time I see myself in a mirror.

Whenever I see myself, I see a big girl who will never be except for how long I stave myself; I will never be perfect.

If I am not perfect, no one is ever going to love me.
Ms. Butterfly Genesis