The Memoir Of Ms. Butterfly

It’s crazy; it doesn’t matter how old I get or how much time passes; her words always seem to affect me in the worst way possible.
I had a bizarre awakening moment today. That moment was that no matter how much time goes by, I’m always going to be the target that she shoots that I don’t know or understand the purpose of her shooting at me, but the fact that she able to do it and it still affects me it drives me crazy.

The second moment of clarity that I had today was that you should never tell your child specific things, no matter how old your child gets. No matter how upset you might be or the pain your body might be going through.

As a child and now as an adult, it’s tough for me to believe those words that flow out of her Mouth.

When she gets every chance, she must remind me that her body is breaking down because of all the things she had to do to take care of me as far as lifting, bringing up, and down four flights of stairs so I may go to school every day.

Many people reading this piece might not believe that I am grateful for a superwoman. I know how lucky I am that she chose to have me, but I can’t help and question how doesn’t she ever want me to feel like a burden When the words that come out of her Mouth make me feel more than just a commitment to her and everyone else around me?

There are certain things that, as a mom, I could never tell my child, like my body is the way it is because I gave my very best to you, and now I can’t function well enough to do my everyday task. I’ve been in many pieces before. I never chose to be here; that was A conscious decision that she took upon herself; if it were up to me, I probably would’ve decided not to help me, but she did, so why should I be blamed for something that I have no control over and she knows this.

I have never felt like a blessing but a burden To her.

Ms. Butterfly Genesis 🇩🇴