Giving my room a makeover isn’t going to help me emotionally.

Yeah, my room would look beautiful because it does need a facelift.

It’s funny how she can come out of her face and says that she is disappointed in me, but what about the disappointment I hold inside about how I feel like a broken doll that she has not been allowed to think for herself.

I don’t get me started on how they make me feel. I’m just a piece of furniture that when people feel like it, they come by and say hello.

When I speak to outsiders, they tell me maybe if I should try a little hard to connect with the people I call my family, I agree, but then I begin thinking about all the ugly things I have heard them say about me.

Things like I’m not trustworthy; big mouth bitch lair your part of this family; no one likes you, and your dull.

It’s funny when she says that she is disappointed in me and that she has yet to see me as a woman but struggles with the thought of womanhood with me because of my disability.

The little ways I have made for myself have been behind her back because I always felt like she has put God’s fear.

, After all, she has never wanted me to have the same outcomes as my older siblings.

If I can be truthful, I would have to say that I have a lot more difficult because I can’t sit and have a conversation with her without her barking at me before completing my first sentence. Also, she has never been affectionate towards me.

I have struggled in my relationship with men because I don’t have a positive relationship with her regarding trust and being honest with people.

I don’t even know if she knows that I have had a sexual relationship because she has never bothered to have sex talk with me. Probably because of the broken doll that I’m, I should not be sexually active.

I’m disappointed in myself because I’m almost 39 years old.
I’m still living at home, trying to find my way through life and how to make a name for myself.
I was disappointed because I’m not where I would like to be; instead of making over my room, why not just support me because you believe me.

Ms. Butterfly Genesis