The Memoir Of Ms. Butterfly

Let me start by saying I’m not a relationship expert, but I was having a conversation with one of my girlfriends, and she inspired me to put this piece together.

Just remember what I said in the first line; I’m not a relationship expert.

I’ve been in good and bad relationships to know that no matter how much a woman can love a man more than anything else in the world, that still won’t be enough to keep him.

As women, we become so consumed in relationships with men that we forget about our own identities and the things that made us happy before we became a unit.

As women, we also try to be the man in everything possible, so they feel catered to.

No matter how much we want to cater to them, there are no guarantees that that man will be your be-all, just like a woman wants, a man to be her be-all as well.

Like I’ve said many times before, I’ve been married before.

One of the main things that I learned being married is I was trying to be his superwoman by taking care of things that we should have been doing together because we were supposed to be a unit.

I guess I never pushed him to take on a husband’s role because I did not want to seem weak.

I made it seem like I had everything under control because I wanted to keep him happy.

Still, I did more damage than good because I wasn’t honest with him by letting him know that I couldn’t do everything myself that I needed his help.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that everyone comes into your life for a season, and with the purpose, whatever purpose that is, it’s up to that person to find out and determine if that person is willing to stick around find out what the purpose was.

I continuously tell my girlfriends that they need to love themselves before love can find them.

My divorce taught me how strong I was as a woman and as a person. But, of course, that divorce alone was hell.

I never thought that I would make it through it. But, I did, and I became a stronger person because of it.

Of course, people hate when I thank my ex-husband for filing for divorce.

Still, I thank him because, going through such a traumatic divorce, I learned that the one person I could rely on always was me because everybody else was busy saying I told you so while my heart was breaking.

If I could have a moment of honesty, I honestly didn’t think I could make it through that and still want to find love or allow love to see me.

Love found me, but I had no idea how to appreciate it until I no longer had it.

Being single for two years has taught me that I can’t lose focus when I’m in a relationship with anyone.

I am at my happiest right now because I’m doing things I never thought I would do.

Even though I might not have all the recognition I desire to have, I am at my happiest right now because I’m doing things I never thought I would be doing.

The stuff I have going on with myself right now might not be essential to people, and they might not believe in me, but I believe in me.

I am my main focus right now, but I’m not going to close the door on love.

If love happens to find me again, I would be willing to listen and do many things differently, but the main thing I would do differently is no forget about me and things that make me happy, whether my partners believe in me.

Ms. Butterfly Genesis