The Memoir Of Ms. Butterfly

My heart hurts always, and the sad part is no one realizes it.

I want to stop mistreating. But I need to stop hurting most of all.

There are so many things causing me pain right now. It’s hard to pinpoint which one is causing me more pain. Is it the fact that he is no longer a part of my life?

Is it that I feel imprisoned in myself, and I am desperate to find a way out of myself?

I need to get out of my way to accept my wrongs before I can make them right.

I would love to believe that the only thing I have ever done wrong is love people that have no clue how to love me back or that I love way too hard.

Right now, it might just be all in my head, but I believe people believe the worst when I have a gold heart. But, still, it’s complex or challenging for anyone to see that because of all the pain that I’ve caused people around me and the fact that people don’t have a problem understanding me like crazy.

I can’t blame them because that’s the only thing that I have shown people. After all, I’ve so many times it’s so much easier for me to show them that other side of me. Instead of showing them that woman with a heart of gold.

I love someone no one will ever approve of or want around, and I’m OK with that because it is my choice to live my life.

They are far from perfect and very strong-tempered.
But they don’t give a fuck what the world thinks of them or even what I think of them either.
I sometimes wish people could see past their macho attitude and realize they are very passionate, loving sexual beings, making it very difficult for anyone not to share their lives with them.
They might not be as forgiving as I would like them to be, but they give themselves to whoever needs them with no questions asked.

Ms. Butterfly Genesis